


Can You Fix Me?

by lethargical



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Awkward Flirting, Bad Parent Robert Lightwood, Canon-Typical Violence, Communication, Death, First Kiss, First Meetings, Fluff, Fugitives, Hurt/Comfort, Internalized Homophobia, Light Angst, Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Magnus Bane's Cat Eyes, Malec, Minor Violence, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Panic Attacks, World Travel, general cuteness, sorta - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-17
Updated: 2018-03-14
Packaged: 2018-10-20 05:35:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 45,835
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10655982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lethargical/pseuds/lethargical
Summary: Magnus Bane hates Shadowhunters, he always has. Yet when faced with Alec Lightwood stood on his doorstep at 1 am, would he refuse his offer or try to help?





	1. Yes, No, Maybe So?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [colestellation](https://archiveofourown.org/users/colestellation/gifts).



> this is a lil birthday present for my pal cole!! their birthday isnt for a while but it's an early present !

Magnus didn't do mornings. He wasn't that kind of person. He'd be able to stay up until god knows what hour in the morning, no problem, yet faced with the simple task of waking up early seemed like an impossibility for him. In his old age, although he would refuse to admit it, Magnus Bane had gotten stubborn. He had said he'd stay young, never grow up, keep his youth and not grow stale, yet he sat up in bed and looked out at the great city of New York, the not so busy streets of four am, the calm before the storm. He sighed. He used to love it, but now it felt like more of an annoyance than beauty. It was, of course, the city that never sleeps.

If he could wake up any later, he would've done it one hundred percent, yet his client that morning required a ritual to be performed before dawn. He wouldn't have agreed to it, of course, if he didn't receive substantial pay for his work, which he had been paid already in advance. So there he was, getting ready for a morning of work. Keeping up an appearance was still in line and after a moment of contemplation, he chose a emerald green mesh shirt, suede trousers and dark brown boots; suitable for simple demon summoning. Flicking his wrist, Magnus opened a portal to the warehouse where he'd perform the ritual, stepping through, the portal closed swiftly behind him.

 

* * *

 

The doors to the training room banged open as Jace burst into the room. Ever since the war against Valentine started up once again and he'd returned from being his prisoner, Jace acted as if he was invincible; like nothing could touch him. As if he was indispensable. 

He wasn't.

Alec sat off to the side of the room, minding his own business, only looking back to see his brother enter. He hated drawing attention to himself. He was already odd, choosing a bow and quiver as his main weapon instead of a seraph blade. Being in the center of the training room meant people looked at you, judged you, gossiped about you. He didn't need that, not like anyone would care. He was acting head of the New York Institute, not a true warrior. Not like Izzy or Jace. Especially not like Jace.  He didn't need any more things to worry about. 

Which is why he was going to have a little meeting with the High Warlock of Brooklyn that night. Alec didn't have an appointment at all but he wouldn't think Magnus Bane of all people would say no to the acting head of the NYI, let alone a Lightwood. At least that's what his mother had said to him,

"Demand, Alec. He has to listen to you. We are his superiors" She had said. Alec didn't agree with her. He believed downworlders should be treated as equal. The same way he treated mundanes and other shadowhunters, although he'd never say it out loud. Maryse Lightwood was a very traditional woman; she and his father, Robert, were the reason  Alec was going to talk to Magnus in the first place.

Alec liked boys.

He'd known for a long time, far before he realized it was wrong for not only a boy to like other boys but especially that male shadowhunters shouldn't like other boys. It was known fact that there were two main factors in shunned relationships. The first was relationships between downworlders and shadowhunters and the second was relationships between same-sex couples. God knows what would happen if someone was in the unfortunate situation where they fell into both of those categories, and Alec didn't want to find out.

He first realized he was gay when Jace arrived at the institute. He wasn't technically his brother but they were raised together. Alec convinced himself it was brotherly love, nothing more, nothing less. They trained to be parabatai, the feeling of love and adoration was 'supposedly normal' between them, he said to himself. He liked Jace because he was safe. He would always be there for him.

When he was 12, he heard the word 'gay' for the first time. He'd heard it from his father's mouth.

"Alexander, Bows are for Gays and you're not one of them so learn how to use it or pick up a blade instead."

He had grown up with gay used as an insult and by the time he was 14, he knew what it really meant and associated the word with disappointment and negativity. Which when he realized that he wasn't attracted to girls, left his head in a war zone. It fought itself from the inside out, and although he tried to keep it internalized, people sometimes noticed. He passed it off as stress from running the Institute while his parents were off in Idris. 

Alec was 99% sure Izzy knew about it. She somehow always knew, even if he hadn't even spoken a word about it. She just picked up on things silently, not judging but always making sure that she was there to talk to if he needed to. He didn't. He was going to see Magnus Bane, he was going to be the one who would fix everything. He's the High Warlock of Brooklyn. He has magic. Alec was sure it'd all be okay.

 

* * *

 

Magnus returned to his loft that morning at quarter-past nine. It was a pleasant and sunny Friday morning in mid June. He had no more clients until Sunday evening and he was unbelievably tired. The demon summoning took more energy than he had expected and he had to wait for some of it to replenish before he could make a portal back home. He opened the curtains in his bedroom and sunlight quickly shone through his window onto his satin bed sheets where his cat, Chairman Meow lay sleeping.

Magnus shooed the chairman off his bed and crawled atop the covers, letting the warmth of the sun put him to sleep after a stressful morning of magic.

He seemed to have slept through nearly the entire day as when he woke up, it was almost 1 am that night. Magnus was rudely awakened by the sound of his intercom buzzer sounding noisily by the front door. He didn't often get visitors this early in the day, especially on Saturday mornings when it was pretty well known that he normally spent the majority of his evenings and mornings at Pandemonium, the nightclub he owned. Making himself presentable as he walked towards the buzzing box on his wall, he eventually had enough of the awful noise and finally replied to the relentless visitor standing downstairs. 

"Magnus Bane speaking. Do not waste my time, what is it? What do you want?" Magnus spoke loudly into the microphone.

He heard a gasp in response and chuckled. He could still intimidate people. Good. The person on the other side stayed silent.

"I don't have all day here and I said don't waste my time. Why are you here?"

If Magnus didn't get an answer, he'd tell whoever who was at the door to go away. If he got an answer, if it was compelling enough, he just might let the person in. Of course, he'd also need an incentive. 

After a few seconds of silence, a man's voice came through the intercom.

"Uh-um, hi... Magnus Bane, I'm Alec Lightwood, acting head of the New York Institute... I-I was wondering if I could talk to you? If it's no bother?"

'Alec Lightwood' Magnus thought to himself. He knew of the Lightwood family, he'd seen their ancestors live and die over a couple centuries. They were complete and utter assholes to him, and now one of them stood on his doorstep asking if he'd talk to him. What a joke. He should've stopped listening once the word 'Lightwood' left the boy's mouth. Serves them right for treating him badly for years. He'd finally get to hurt their family back.

"Lightwood, I do not help Shadowhunters, especially those of your family. Do not disturb me again." He bellows through the speaker.

"This is not a family matter, Bane." Alec's voice says, even less confident than the first time he spoke.

Magnus sighed. He despised shadowhunters but at the same time, they were also part human, as was he. It was his soft area. That little part of humanity that not only kept him sane but also stopped him from being a complete dick to people, although it did take a while to learn how to harness the humanity inside of him. If Alec wasn't lying about it not being a family matter, then although his family had harmed him, Alec hadn't. Yet.

Tiredly Magnus spoke again. "Lightwood. I'm sure whatever you require from me didn't have to wait until 2 am. If you could come back at another time, I'm sure I could attempt to listen too whatever's going on in that little head of yours."

"Warlock Bane, I-"

Magnus hated the title 'Warlock Bane'.

"Call me Bane if you must, my title degrades me" He cut in before Alec started talking again.

"Um, sorry, Bane... I'm not sure if I can do this another time... See, I sneaked out of the Institute just to come talk to you. I wasn't sure what I was expecting exactly but I really do need the help. Please"

Magnus pinched the bridge of his nose. Nobody had asked him for help like that in a long time. He couldn't remember the last time someone had asked him for help by using the word 'please' so why was Alec Lightwood, child of the unpleasant Maryse and Robert Lightwood, asking for his help at this time of night?

He made up his mind. A last minute decision. In the morning, he would most likely regret it but the boy needed his help and Magnus wasn't the High Warlock of Brooklyn for nothing.

"Very well, Lightwood, I'll let you up but this doesn't guarantee that I'll help you. I'm simply assessing your situation" He said before buzzing Alec into the building.

Magnus had never met Alec. Of the few times he was invited to the institute to strengthen the protective wards, he tried to avoid any interaction with any shadowhunters. He knew Maryse had a son and daughter and that they had adopted a child however he never cared about their lives and didn't think it was important to keep the information relevant. He stayed out of the war against Valentine as it was well known that he was hunting warlocks. He hadn't exactly been in hiding but he did put up more protection around him and in the back of his head, he couldn't help but think that Alexander Lightwood was a trap.

 

* * *

 

Alec had slipped past the guards at midnight. He hadn't wanted to leave it as late as he left it but he was called on a last minute demon hunt with Jace and his apparent girlfriend-turned-sister, Clary. The hunt took longer than they had all thought because for some reason, the tension between Clary and Jace slowed them both down. 

He took the subway to where he was told was Magnus' apartment building and stood quietly on the porch of the building, contemplating what he could possibly say to a high warlock, someone with such a large reputation. Alec was just Alec. Acting head, nothing else. He stood in the shadows, why did he expect Magnus Bane to help him?

Because he was the only answer. He was the only person who could fix everything.

Fix him.

Alec found his name and pressed the buzzer. Once, twice, three times. He got no reply. Like a madman, he pressed the intercom button over and over, not frantically but enough to let whoever upstairs know that he was still waiting in the chilly June breeze outside. 

"Magnus Bane speaking. Do not waste my time, what is it? What do you want?" He heard through the speaker. Alec gasped. He sounded a lot different than what he expected him to sound like. More graceful but also powerful. He was almost scary. Alec didn't know what to say.

"I don't have all day here and I said don't waste my time. Why are you here?" Magnus spoke again, sounding slightly annoyed. Alec realized he probably woke him up from sleeping. 'Way to piss off the High Warlock' He thought to himself. So much for first impressions.

Yet the first impression he gave hadn't fazed Magnus and after a few moments of conversation, he seemed to reconsider Alec's offer and buzzed him into the building. Grateful, Alec took up the stairs two at a time, reaching Magnus' front door in a couple minutes. As if on cue, the door opened and inside he saw Magnus standing at his minibar, making a drink.

"Ah, Alec. Drink?" Magnus asked almost normally, his back turned away from him.

"Uh, no thanks... I don't drink." Alec replied

"Shame." Magnus flatly said before turning around, glass in hand.

Alec froze. He was pretty sure his jaw fell open because the man stood in front of him was unlike any man he'd seen before. This was a problem. He couldn't like a man just for his looks, hell, he couldn't like a man. At all. It was out of the question. He was here for help, not to make the problem worse. 

 

* * *

 

As soon as Magnus felt a presence intrude his wards, he immediately checked to see if they were a threat of any kind. He was surprised to see that Alec Lightwood posed no threat at all. He stood to make him and his guest a drink, clicking his fingers to open his front door. 

He heard  tentative footsteps enter the room, shuffling over the doormat and carpet. Certainly not a move of confidence that was for sure. 

"Ah, Alec. Drink?" He spoke almost too happily. Magnus spoke nearly as kindly as he would if he was having tea with his best friend, Catarina Loss. Yet he had never met Alec and had greeted him with kindness anyway. He was stupid. Magnus made a mental note to work on not being soft. He blamed it on old age.

"Uh, no thanks... I don't drink."  Alec awkwardly replied, shuffling his feet on the carpet again.

"Shame." Magnus replied, taking all sincerity and emotion from his voice. He needed to be professional. This was a shadowhunter. They meant business, not friendliness.

He turned around to get his first look at the shadowhunter standing in his entrance hall.

He was breathtaking.

He wore his hunting gear that wrapped around his body like wet clothing. His cheeks were flushed in embarrassment, his hair, black as ink contrasted by his cream skin. His eyes were wide, brown and nervous. Alec looked like he'd been caught doing something he shouldn't have. He looked too attractive. Probably a perk of being part angel.

Magnus had to remind himself that Alec, no matter how pretty, was a shadowhunter. A shadowhunter with bitten lips and a delightful deflect rune covering the side of his neck that would be wonderful to bite- no. He wouldn't get involved with the shadowhunters again. He was here for business.

Shaking the feeling of curiousness and infatuation from his head, Magnus gestured for Alec to sit in the closest armchair available. Alec visibly looked out of place and awkward. His head looked down at the floor once he sat and his shoulders hunched over.  Not what he envisioned the newest generation of shadowhunter warriors to look like. Magnus cleared his throat and Alec looked up at him.

"Alec. Assume that's short for Alexander?" Magnus asked.

Alec nodded. "Yes but only my parents call me tha-"

"Alexander. I am here to hear your request, not know information about Maryse and Robert."

Alec looked taken aback for a few seconds before a mask fell back onto his face, blocking any form of strong emotion from showing on his facial features. He was odd. Different than any other shadowhunter he'd met in a while. Saying please, thank you, actually being respectful to a downworlder. To Magnus Bane. Odd.

"Now, _darling_ , why are you requesting my presence at a time like this?"  Magnus asked, putting an emphasis on 'darling'.

It took a moment for Alec to look at Magnus completely. He was blushing from being called darling. When he first spoke, Magnus hadn't heard what he had said.

"You know, Alexander, I can't help you if you don't say things loud enough for me to hear." Magnus chuckled lightly. Alec was something different. Magnus could feel himself growing to like the man and it slightly concerned him.

The next time Alec spoke, it was forced and loud. He choked out the sentence like he was a robot running low on fuel, words twisted and choppy. Magnus could feel his emotion through the way he spoke them. The sentence itself left Magnus speechless but also made him feel sympathy for Alec. He knew how shadowhunters were traditional people. He knew it shouldn't have affected him as much as it did; he had only known Alec for  5 minutes but he felt for him. He could understand. 

That's why when Alec said "Magnus Bane, can you make me not be gay anymore?", Magnus told him there was nothing wrong with him and ushered him out his font door, telling him to go home. 

He couldn't involve himself, Magnus thought. Alexander Lightwood was something new and the realization itself scared him. He knew that just saying nothing was wrong with him wouldn't help Alec but even if he could stop him from being gay, he wouldn't. Magnus knew how it felt to grow up wanting to hide a sexuality and although he didn't want to integrate himself into the life of a shadowhunter, he didn't want someone to feel the same way he had.

The problem was, he just made Alec feel those feelings he didn't want him to experience. The way Magnus made it sound, sounded like he was invalidating Alec and his problems. Magnus had just became the reason why Alec hid his sexuality. He had just given Alec the incentive he needed to bottle up all of his feelings inside.


	2. Stay?

"There's nothing wrong with you Alexander." Magnus said. "Go home. Alexander. Go back to the Institute, goodnight. "

Alec was kicked out almost as quickly as he had entered Magnus' apartment. He'd put all of his hope into having Magnus be the person to fix him, yet Magnus seemed to disregard his request immediately. He wanted Alec out of his sight for some unknown reason.

Alec thought of himself as a burden to his family already. Now he thought he also burdened the High Warlock of Brooklyn. He shouldn't have visited him in the first place.

On the inside, buried under mountains of self-hatred found a home for the words 'There's nothing wrong with you". Alec could thank Magnus for at least that small bit of reassurance but the words didn't change the fact that the word 'gay' still had negative connotations in his mind. But for some small reason, now he wasn't completely sure if he wanted to be fixed.

Magnus had been breathtaking. Alec, in the first moments of seeing him, realized that there were in fact other men available to him rather than the stuck up, ego-driven male shadowhunters he was surrounded by at the institute. There were other guys as pretty and as charming as Magnus had been. There would be guys who looked good, even if you woke them up at 1 am. Guys who offered drinks and genuine smiles and called you darling. Men who would love you the same way a woman would love you. 

No.

Alec was describing Magnus. Maybe that's why he had kicked Alec out of his apartment that quickly. He knew Alec had found him attractive. He didn't know what to expect when meeting Magnus. He'd heard of his reputation, the way the shadowhunters disliked him and how Magnus equally and even most likely disliked the shadowhunters more. He heard Magnus was a warrior but not in a combat way. Alec didn't know what that meant but he inferred it was something to do with his magic. 

He had to remember the two unspoken guidelines. Fall in love with whoever unless they're a downworlder or the same sex. Straightforward. Yet Alec held an internal battle in his mind while still standing on Magnus Bane's doorstep, not for one second remembering the warlock had wards surrounding his apartment sensing he still stood there. He found Magnus attractive.

He knew he should've left the moment he knew he felt unwelcome... but Alec didn't exactly feel unwelcome. Magnus had said he should go home. Home; The Institute. That's where he felt he was the most unwelcome. Even though nobody but most likely Izzy knew he was gay, he already felt like the odd one out. Unimportant to everyone. Only there to keep the institute from falling apart.

Normally the head of an institute made their presence known, they made sure people knew who was in charge, got attention. The exact opposite of what Alec wanted. If attention was drawn to him, people would easily see through his facade. He already hid from his parents and the ones he loved, he couldn't have any more eyes on him judging him for every move he made.

Alec's mind and thoughts were playing out like a ping-pong game. Back and forth challenging everything he held to believe true. He knew he should've left before his head got to this specific train of thought but it was too late at night for him to think properly and he felt almost paralyzed in confusion and fear as he slid down the hallway wall of Magnus' apartment building, now sitting with his head in his hands and his knees brought up to his chest. If his parents saw him weak like this, Alec wouldn't hear the end of it, hell, he might've been deemed 'not fit enough to run the institute.' 

Mental health issues with shadowhunters didn't mix well with their core beliefs. Everyone had to be perfect warriors. Perfect people. Flawless angels. Boys who like girls. Alec realized that if they could be wrong about one thing, they could be wrong about another.  

He knew he wasn't the perfect copy of what the nephilim wanted but although negativity was still ingrained into his head, he couldn't help but think about Magnus. How nice he was to him even though he was a shadowhunter. How welcome he felt during a conversation with a stranger he'd only just met. How his rings reflected the light of the room. The way his eyes shone despite probably only waking up a few moments before. The way his clothes looked like there was actual effort put into pairing them together. The way 'Alexander' sounded from his lips. The fact Magnus called him darling. 

Alec didn't want to assume anything, especially Magnus' sexuality. Despite his clothing and style choices, he was a rich warlock, centuries old and was generally strange. Alec already felt confused and was overthinking every possibility in his head. It was half past 2 in the morning by the time his brain eventually calmed down. He knew he had to get back to the institute before people woke up. He'd have to sneak past the guards again too. He couldn't have people asking questions. He couldn't have people gossiping about him spending the night somewhere else. 

Alec stood up to leave. He hadn't been crying but he wiped his eyes anyway, wiping away the grogginess of still being awake after a long, tiring day of work. He brushed down his clothes and bent down to tie his shoelaces; he'd have to walk the majority of the way home at that time of night. After finishing one, he switched to the other shoe but stopped when he heard the sound of a door unlocking. 

Magnus' door opened for the second time that night and Magnus stood in the doorway, now wearing a simple silk dressing gown. His makeup, however was still intact, as were his rings and necklaces. He stood with a glass in hand, looking down at Alec, who was still halfway through tying his shoelace. He felt the urge to look away and walk home. If his parents or the clave knew he voluntarily stayed in the presence of a warlock at god knows that time in the morning, he'd be punished but in that moment he didn't really care. Magnus had answers to questions he couldn't solve himself and he'd regret it later if he didn't seek them out of he had the opportunity.

 

* * *

 

Magnus couldn't shake the feeling of regret from his head. He should've done something, said something to make Alec's situation better than it previously was however he couldn't help but think that he'd made things ten times worse than they were to start with.

He wasn't particularly tired yet the few short moments with Alec had affected him enough to make him feel guilty and for Magnus there were three ways to deal with guilt. Number one was to drink, number two was to sleep and number three was to talk it out. Talking was of course out of the question because he'd stupidly kicked Alec out in an irrational moment of decision making so it was one of the two. He decided he needed another drink. After changing out of his day clothes, he picked up his empty glass and walked over to his bar stand.

While pouring his second drink that hour, Magnus felt his wards grow heavier. Scanning for a threat a second time, he again felt Alec. He hadn't gone home like he'd asked and for once was grateful that a shadowhunter hadn't listened to his orders. 

Magnus knew there was more to Alec than any other shadowhunter he'd met over the years. The shadowhunters he knew were pretentious, over the top drama queens with no sense of respect, empathy and treated downworlders as dispensable objects that were there for one time use before throwing them away. No, Alexander Lightwood was odd. But odd in a good way. He wanted to change who he was but also knew it was the wrong thing to do. He said please and thank you to him, not ordered him around like his parents tended to whenever he was in their presence. Alec wanted to be the better person. He was shy, and although hardly spoke much, recognized Magnus as another person and not an object.

To his own surprise, Magnus ended up making two drinks. He walked to his front door and this time manually unlocked it without magic. Opening it almost halfway, he caught Alec's eye as he knelt to tie his shoelace. 

Like the first time he saw him, Magnus' breath hitched slightly. Alec looked tired but still pulled off being attractive as his eyelashes blinked heavily and his anxiety induced bitten lips glistened as he nervously licked them. He stood and followed Magnus back into his living room, the door closing behind him slowly until the sound of a small creak echoed through the entrance hall, signifying the door was shut. Magnus reminded himself he needed to get the door fixed. 

With the click of his fingers, the second drink he'd made earlier in case of Alec's unlikely arrival disappeared from the bar and into Alec's hand. For the first time since walking in, Alec spoke.

"Bane, I told you I don't drink." Alec said, shocked by the appearance of a glass suddenly in his palm. He sat in the same chair he had sat in an hour before.

Magnus laughed quietly. Alec looked adorable. Of course he'd keep that to himself. 

"Alexander,"Magnus started, "don't or haven't?"

Hesitantly, Alec brought the glass to his lips and took a small sip. It was clear by the look on his face that he hadn't liked it at all yet he was still polite and turned the look of distaste into a smile.

"My sister dragged me to a party for my brother's birthday last year." Alec sighed, rolling his eyes. "Izzy can be very persuasive sometimes but I can normally hold myself against her so I have no idea how she got me to agree to go. I didn't know how to handle my alcohol and had to leave early because I was sick." Alec smiled while relaying the story. It wasn't the happiest memory but Magnus could tell his siblings were important to him. 

Magnus pictured a Alec clueless in some bar, downing drinks as if they were glasses of water and he had just gotten out of the desert. Although he had only known  him for an incredibly short period of time, Magnus knew Alec had already brought a change out in him. 

He clicked his fingers and Alec's drink disappeared from his hands and appeared back on the bar counter and Alec visibly relaxed. He was still tense though. Magnus had to remember that Alec had come all the way to his home to ask if he could 'fix him'. There was nothing to be fixed yet knowing Alec didn't fully know that scared him. Alec didn't want people to find out. He wanted to change who he was completely and Magnus wan't okay with that. 

He knew how toxic the clave was, how the shadowhunters themselves were almighty and it wasn't a safe space for any normal person to grow up in. Magnus knew he couldn't be involved but it was late and it would be a one off. He knew it in fact wouldn't be a one off and that his decisions from the night would come back and bite him in the ass but he couldn't say no to Alec when he was vulnerable. He was part demon and part human, not a monster.

"Alexander, you look unbelievably tired." Magnus said; more like stated. "I know the institute isn't the most welcoming place but being gay isn't wrong" Alec painfully laughed after Magnus spoke and he frowned. 

"I know you don't believe me but just remember it." Alec nodded. "If you want, you can take the couch. It's late, darling and I wouldn't want you walking home at this time of night."

"I'm a shadowhunter, Bane, I can take care of myself, besides I have to be back before anyone knows I even left" Alec sighed. Standing up, he ran a hand through his unkempt hair and pulled his jacket around his body tightly.

"I know you're a shadowhunter but I also know you're tired. I can make you a portal to the institute in the morning." Magnus offered. "Here-" Magnus conjured a pillow and two blankets with the flick of his wrist "I guarantee you'll get a better sleep here anyway, without the clave breathing down your neck at all times."

And with a small "Thank you", Alec gratefully accepted the blankets and removed his jacket and shoes before collapsing on the couch in fatigue. Magnus caught himself smiling at the image of Alec as he said goodnight and walked back to his bedroom, Chairman Meow following him once he stepped into the room.

"Chairman, what am I going to do about him hm?" Magnus asked his cat, stroking his ears once he sat on his bed.

The Chairman simply yawned and fell asleep in his lap, leaving Magnus alone with his thoughts. He laughed to himself as he let his mind wander through thoughts of Alec Lightwood, the boy asleep in the other room. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a pretty slow chapter as nothing much happened however I needed to finish this scene before I moved on to the next one. Next chapter, however, introduces Izzy, Jace, Maryse, Ragnor, Catarina and maybe even Max and has a lot more going on so look out for that!
> 
> as always feedback is appreciated so leave a comment if you'd like  
> and kudos make me feel validated x
> 
> i hope y'all have a good day!


	3. Burgundy?

Alec woke up the same time he normally would, his internal body clock always waking him up the same time everyday, despite only going to sleep hours before. It was 6:45 and he was disoriented having woken up in an unfamiliar room with an ache in the back of his neck. After a few moments, the events of that night flooded back into his head. If he wasn't back at the Institute, Izzy would never stop talking about it. He'd never hear the end of her. He needed to get back as soon as possible.

Alec stood and folded the blankets he borrowed, placing them on the arm of the couch before trying to navigate the unfamiliar hallways of Magnus' apartment. He had to find the warlock before the Institute woke up and realized he was gone. His senses woke up when he caught the smell of coffee from across the apartment. Following the scent, he found the kitchen and saw Magnus sitting on a stool with a coffee in hand. He wore a dressing gown with a baggy burgundy shirt underneath and silk pajama bottoms that were too shiny for eyes to look at at 7 am. His makeup was impeccable and fresh. He had never seen a guy look so good in lipstick before. Seeing Alec at the kitchen door, Magnus snapped his fingers and another steaming cup of coffee appeared in Alec's hands. 

"Bane, did you just make this with the snap of your fingers or did you steal it from the coffee shop down the street?" Alec quizzically asked, his eyes squinting in questioning but his lips curving into a small smile.

"I wouldn't say stealing exactly. More like borrowing on a tab. I always pay them back later." Magnus replied, sipping his coffee with a smirk on his face. "Now, isn't it about time I got you home, Alexander?"

Alec stood frozen, staring at Magnus for a few seconds before Magnus raised an eyebrow paired with an even larger smirk. "Uh-um..Y-yeah. I. should go... Thank you Magnus. I mean Bane. Sorry." Alec spluttered out in a rush of nervousness, his eyes looking down at the floor. 

"There's nothing to apologize about, darling. You can call me Magnus if you'd like. If fact, I'd prefer it if that's alright with you." Magnus chuckled. 

Alec nodded.

"Alright, where are you headed in that prison you call the institute?" Magnus asked and this time, Alec was the one who laughed.

"If it's possible, my bedroom please." Alec said, unaware of the connotations behind his words.

"A little eager are we Alexander?"Magnus winked at Alec. They hadn't even known each other for a day yet Alec found himself blushing.

He struggled for words and spluttered a choking noise before Magnus started laughing, clutching his stomach as he reacted to Alec's sudden outburst of repulsed noises.

"I was only joking, darling. I wouldn't even suggest it until after the second date." Magnus stated casually while keeping eye contact.

Alec wasn't used to the attention being on him. He didn't mind not receiving attention either. He was perfectly okay with Jace and Izzy being the center of attention. But here there was only him and Magnus. His siblings weren't there to save him and Magnus was putting all of his attention into talking to him.

"Alec..." Magnus paused, as if he was thinking of the right words to say. Alec turned his head to the side in question.

Magnus sighed. "Has anyone told you how attractive you look?"

Alec was sure his face turned the shade of a rose, his cheeks burned as he awkwardly stood with his hands in his jacket pockets and his shoulders hunched over. "No." He mumbled and Magnus laughed quietly.

"Well let me be the first to say you look absolutely gorgeous."

Before Alec could make even more of a fool out of himself, he managed to tell Magnus he really did have to get back home. Following through with his promise, Magnus opened a portal in the middle of his kitchen directly to Alec's bedroom. 

"I'll see you around maybe?" Alec smiled stuck out his hand for a handshake. Magnus shook it strongly before Alec turned towards the portal meters away.

"Hey Alexander?" Magnus asked as Alec was about to step through the portal.

"Yes Magnus?" Alec replied, stepping back for a second.

Magnus stepped closer and kissed Alec's cheek. "Thank you."

"For what?" Alec asked but before he heard an answer, Magnus had pushed him through the portal and closed it behind him. Alec fell onto his bed in shock as his bedroom door opened and his sister, Izzy, walked in.

A few steps in, she stopped and stared at her brother with a glint in her eye and her mouth twisted into a smile Alec thought was inhuman.

"Alec, what do we have here?" She spoke knowingly.

How did she know, Alec thought. He went through every precaution before he left Magnus' apartment. Except for the unplanned kiss on his cheek. Magnus had been wearing lipstick.

Alec reached his hand up and wiped at his cheek, looking at his hand which now had a small smudge of red across his fingers. Izzy laughed.

"Who's the lucky guy, because I didn't see you return after patrols last night, Alec. What was he like?" She relentlessly questioned.

Wait. She had said he.

He. 

Izzy knew.

Alec started to wipe at his cheek almost frantically before Izzy stopped him. Alec caught her eye for the first time in the conversation yet Izzy's eyes held no disappointment or hatred. They still held the same amount of love as they had yesterday.

"You really think I wouldn't have caught on by now, big brother?" Izzy smiled, wrapping her arms around her brother in a reassuring hug. "There's nothing wrong with you, Alec. One day, someone is gonna love you heart and soul. I don't care who it is so long as you're happy. Now come on, it's already quarter past seven, we have training to do." She paused. "But don't think you're getting off that easily, I am going to find out who kissed that cheek of yours. First so I can congratulate him on such an impressive feat and secondly so I can ask him what lipstick brand he uses."

"Burgundy?" Alec asked quietly.

"It's a hard shade to pull off, big brother. It's worth congratulations!" Izzy laughed, as if the whole 'being gay is okay' talk was a normal everyday thing.

Izzy brushed off him being gay as if it was nothing but hearing those words come from his sister's mouth had made a big difference. Once, no, twice that day someone important had told him that there was nothing wrong with him. But then why was the clave so persistent on drilling the knowledge that being gay was wrong into the heads of shadowhunter children? Alec could only come up with two possible answers. One, the clave was extremely religious and believed homosexuality was a sin or Two, the clave wanted straight couples to repopulate the lost numbers of the nephilim as fast as possible. However there's an abundance of shadowhunter orphans who are in need of parents. Why couldn't gay couples take care of them instead of leaving them in the foster care system until they're old enough to legally take care of themselves?

Alec questioned everything he was taught now. He did't know what to believe. 

As he and Izzy walked into the training room, Jace, surprisingly, was already there.

"Took you both long enough." Jace commented before stepping closer and observing Alec's right cheek. " And it seem's like our dear brother here finally has an excuse for being late." He snickered. "How good was he?" Jace whispered into Alec's ear and he froze. 

"Does everyone here know already!?" Alec quietly exclaimed in exasperation, loud enough for both Jace and Izzy to hear but quiet enough to not have passersby hear their conversation.

"Ha! I had a suspicion and I was right. Izzy, you were right!" Jace laughed happily.

Although Alec was happy Jace knew his true sexuality, he couldn't help but feel like his siblings had been betting on him; had been treating him as if him coming out or showing proof he was gay was some sort of game to them. His smile fell and so did the emotion in the room. Jace felt his parabatai rune change to a more sad feeling and stopped.

He placed a hand on Alec's shoulder. "Bro, you know I love you no matter what right? The clave doesn't know shit and they can't tell you how to live your life. You're not broken Alec, there's nothing wrong with you, remember that."

Alec had the two people who meant the most to him wholeheartedly support him. They knew about his true self and they didn't care if it was against what the shadowhunters wanted. They cared about him and accepted him. They said there wasn't a problem, nothing was wrong with him and although he knew it'd take a while to get the message the clave hammered into his mind out but he knew he didn't want to be fixed anymore. Those few words had changed his life. He really needed to thank Magnus Bane.

Jace and Alec took their places in the training room. They were going to practice hand to hand combat today as it was needed if they were going to battle Valentine's men in the war. Izzy counted down from 3 however as she got to 1, the doors of the training room banged open, hitting the wall behind them before revealing the presence of Maryse and Robert Lightwood and the youngest Lightwood child, Max. 

 

* * *

 

Magnus closed the portal quickly behind Alec, sealing himself from the institute. He hated the place. It really did seem like a prison to him and he couldn't ever think of having to live there every day of his life. He felt sorry for Alec. 

"Thank you for changing my mind" Magnus said quietly, finishing Alec's question, although nobody was there to hear it.

Alec. He had changed his perception of shadowhunters. Yes, of course most of them were the pretentious stick-up-the-ass show offs who didn't care if they lived or died so long as they had a legacy or looked heroic in sacrificing themselves. Yet Alec was basically head of the entire New York Institute and didn't show any narcissism or ego. He was humble and shy and anxious. He was tall and strong and beautiful.

Magnus didn't know what to do. 

He couldn't be attracted to a man who didn't believe in his own sexuality yet Magnus was. He wanted to help Alec find who he was. He wanted to be there for him through it to support it. But he knew he couldn't. Even if the clave let same sex couples be in relationships, Magnus was still a downworlder. A downworlder with a reputation that the nephilim didn't like. There was no way in hell he'd be able to have Alec Lightwood. No chance in being his. No opportunity to love him. 

Magnus picked up his phone and texted his best friends, Ragnor Fell and Catarina Loss. He was having a crisis and he knew he could count on them in his time of need, no matter how annoying they could get. After telling them he needed them as soon as possible, he sat on the couch Alec had slept on and waited for his friends to portal in. Catarina was the first to arrive.

She greeted Magnus with a short hug and a kiss on the cheek. He offered her tea and Magnus briefed her on the whole situation as they both waited for Ragnor to show up. 

A few moments later, a portal opened on the other side of the living room and out stumbled a tired and mumbling Ragnor Fell in a fuzzy dressing gown.

"I swear there better be a worthy reason as to why you've made me come here at this time of night."

"Ragnor, its half past seven in the morning." Catarina laughed.

Ragnor disregarded Catarina's comment and pointed to Magnus. "Magnus Bane, if this is an elaborate plan for me to go back to Peru with you, I'm not doing it. No matter what you try to bribe me with, I swore to never go back."

Magnus laughed and shook his head to signify a no. Ragnor relaxed and sunk into a velvet armchair as Magnus filled him in with the information he'd told Catarina earlier.

"Bane, you're being incredibly stupid. You know that right? You can't be serious. A shadowhunter just turns up on your doorstep in the middle of the night and asks for your help, not to mention, your elaborate description of the boy seems just your type. That hair, those eyes. It seems too suspicious. It's a trap Magnus. The clave wants to use you,"

"Alexander's not like that. He was too vulnerable. He had real emotions. He wasn't like the rest. He was just a man. A man, Ragnor. With problems and dreams and worries..."

Catarina spoke up for the first time in the conversation. "I have to agree it does seem to be suspicious but I do trust you, Magnus. You are wise in your age, and I trust you'll do the right thing. Just remember, don't pressure him. Don't hurt him and for god's sake, don't fall in love with him. You know how crushed you both will be. The clave doesn't play nice, don't think there's a loophole my friend."

Magnus sat there in his own thoughts for a while. Ragnor left shortly after, once again warning him it was a trap before disappearing through a portal. Catarina returned the tea set to the kitchen and kissed Magnus' cheek again before she too left, leaving him once again alone with his thoughts, with only Chairman meow asleep in his room as company.

He wasn't left alone for long. His phone started ringing, drawing him out of his trance-like train of thought. Maryse Lightwood. 

"Magnus Bane, High Warlock of Brooklyn speaking, how can my magical being be of any assistance" He answered the phone in the most annoyingly flamboyant way just to piss Maryse off. 

"Of course, I'll be around in half an hour, Maryse." He said coldly, hanging up without a goodbye.

It seemed Magnus Bane was needed at the New York Institute to reinforce wards. Oh how the universe played right into his hands, as if it wanted him to see Alexander Lightwood again. And for once he wasn't complaining about being surrounded by shadowhunters all day.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ,,, two 2k+ word chapters within 20 hours?? I didn't think it'd happen yet it did and i have no idea why. I just couldn't stop writing?  
> Anyway I tried to introduce most of the main characters but there are still 3-5 I haven't brought in plus a bunch of supporting characters! this fic is going to be a L O T longer than I expected but I hope people will enjoy it regardless!
> 
> as always feedback in the form of comments are appreciated  
> \+ kudos validate me & motivate me to write x


	4. Darling?

Maryse Lightwood wasn't a force one would want to fight with. Alec had learned that a very young age. 

She had arrived from Idris with his father and brother as a surprise visit, to see if the institute was up to par without any occasion for preparation. Alec basically ran the institute himself and made sure everything was running smoothly; that's why he was always so stressed. Yet Maryse either didn't believe her son was capable of the job or wanted to take back control of the institute completely because she always visited without notice, trying to catch the institute in a place when it was run badly. Just so she could swoop in and take control.

Alec knew her plans. That's why he ran the Institute trouble-free everyday. He hadn't taken a day off since he was given the job of being acting head of the institute and it worried Isabelle. He worked himself too hard and disregarded his own health and happiness in order to sustain the institute in perfect order without fail. 

The only thing wrong with the institute, Alec noted, were the wards, specifically the lack of wards as they were slowly degrading. 

Alec knew his mother requested a high warlock to cast the protective spells however he'd never seen them as he used to always be on missions or was simply too busy to notice. He wondered if it'd be Magnus. He wondered if it had always been Magnus casting the spells of protection on the building and he just hadn't realized. 

No. Alec would've recognized him. His style stood out in a crowd and in a room full of shadowhunters, his presence would be sore on the eyes. He would've remembered his face.

He walked through the hallways leading up to his office, that technically he shared with his mother now that she was in the building. He dreaded going up to 'their' office. Alec loved his mother but she was hostile. A warrior. Fast to come to conclusions. Brutally honest and also a pain. She had told him it was the hardest thing for her to take on the task of being a parent to her children but also being their commander. She expected high things of Alec but never imagined he'd one day take her job away from her. She loved him but to some extent, envied her son.

Alec headed up to his office; he couldn't avoid Maryse for the entire day and although the temptation of walking the other way was preferable, he was a shadowhunter. He had to grin and bare whatever was thrown at him. He had to grow up. The head of an institute couldn't run from their problems. 

He slowly ascended the stairs up to the hallway which the office was located and heard his mother talking inside. Making out the the words on the other side of the wall, he heard her talking to the one and only High Warlock of Brooklyn, Magnus Bane to arrange a time for him to reinforce the Institute's wards for the second time that year. Damn. The one thing he had forgotten to do. He was going to call the High Warlock of Manhattan but never got round to doing it. Normally his mother arranged anything to do with the protective wards. He supposed he needed to know how to deal with it when his mother wasn't around to do it for him.

Wait a minute, Alec thought. He stopped for a second and realized. It had been Magnus... Why hadn't he seen him around? or why hadn't he remembered?

Alec forced himself to think back to the last few times the wards had been reinforced. They had to be done more frequently now due to the fact that the war against Valentine was still ongoing and the attempted attacks on the institute were fairly damaging. 

When he was sure his mother's phone call was over, he opened the door, bracing for the inevitable telling off he'd get for dismissing the ward updating to the side. Instead he saw his mother standing alert with a sickly sweet smile sitting on her face.

"Alec," She started and Alec looked at her, confused at his current situation. She only was polite if she had news or wanted something from him. " I've taken care of the ward restoration but that's not what I wanted to talk to you about." 

Maryse looked pleased with herself and Alec took a step back. He hadn't ever thought he'd see his mother in this state but she acted maniacally for some reason.

"Mother, what is it?" Alec asked hesitantly. 

"Alexander, I know you've been busy, but nobody is too busy for a relationship..."

Alec's entire body stiffened. His mom was going down that path. A dangerous path. He couldn't come out to her. Ever. He only realized that he was actually gay and that the people he cared about most (other than Max) knew about his true feelings. Maryse was another story. She'd surrender him and take him to the clave. She'd disown him and stop him from seeing his siblings. He'd never run the institute. Alec would be shunned and expelled from the shadowhunter community for one small 'flaw' in his system. Something he now partially realized wan't his fault. He looked it up. He was born the way he was. It wasn't his fault. 

If it was anyone's fault, it was Maryse's for birthing him the way he was.

"I've found you a girl. She's visiting the institute later today from Idris to see you and admire New York. Her name is Lydia and she's from the Branwell family so treat her like you would with any other girlfriend alright."

Alec subconsciously nodded, although he was in shock. 

"Good!" Maryse said in her most cheerful voice before picking up a file from the desk and leaving. 

His mother just set him up. With a woman. She assumed he'd had a girlfriend before. He had never even been in anything close to a relationship in his life. And now he was expected to try and create a relationship with someone he hadn't met? And it was a woman? Alec really had no clue as to what he had to do.

He decided the best thing for him to do was to distract himself with work. A war wouldn't be won if he just sat around all day contemplating his problems. In the grand scheme of things, Alec believed he wasn't important; if he died in the war, the world lived on. He needed to be out there fighting for the ones he loved, not slumped in a chair. If he had to pretend to be straight to protect his family, he supposed it was something he had to do.

 

* * *

 

Half an hour later, Magnus was ready to portal to the Institute. He hadn't had a lot of time at all to plan an outfit but he managed to pull off putting together a simple outfit of 5 assorted necklaces, fitted pants, dress shoes and a plain black button up shirt. He admired himself in the mirror before he glamoured his eyes and opened a portal to the steps of the institute.

Magnus hoped he'd see Alec again. He only saw him two hours before but so much had already happened that morning it felt like forever ago. He'd had Ragnor and Catarina around that morning. It was only 9 am. He'd been awake for 8 hours and he already knew that it was going to be a long day. 

He walked through the portal and went up to the front door, knocking twice before standing back. The door opened swiftly and behind the door stood Maryse Lightwood, confident and powerful. She led him into the entrance room, not treating Magnus with no respect whatsoever. Sh told him not to interfere with the shadowhunters, get the job done as fast as possible and to find her afterwards to get paid. 

He set off to work. Magnus had reinforced the wards numerous times before and knew what he was doing. He knew it'd take a few hours minimum as the institute was a large building with numerous different wings and hundreds of spaces. He'd be lucky if he got out by 1pm. 

Starting in the largest open space, the training room, he secured the largest wall first, moving to the smaller walls after. He always did the main room at the end so he could leave after. This time he'd hope to catch Alec at work. He knew he was stretching his chances because every other time he was at the institute, he'd never seen him but he believed there was a first time for everything. That could be today. 

Two hours passed and Magnus had finished the basement and greenhouse. He had started on the wing which housed the bedrooms and was a few rooms away from being done.

By midday, Magnus had three rooms left to secure; the infirmary, the dungeons and the main room. It took longer than he planned but the institute was worn down from battle. The dungeons took hardly any time at all and before he knew it, it was half past 1 pm and he only had the main room left.

He felt tired and drained. He thought Maryse only wanted a checkup on the wards but after seeing the damage they had sustained, he felt it was necessary to redo them all. He sure as hell better be paid extra for his time. A loft like his came at a price. 

It had been hours and he hadn't seen Alec Lightwood at all. He had really been hoping to see him, even just catch his eye for a second. Alec intrigued him. He was something he'd never seen before. He was genuine and happy and passionate and cute and awkward and incredibly beautiful. Magnus had to admit he was rather taken by the man, despite only meeting him 12 hours before. 

He sat for a while, waiting for his magic to slightly replenish after so much use, and he thought of what Ragnor had said to him. 

It was a trap.

It couldn't be. It was a coincidence, he thought.

But now that he thought about it, the more things fell into place. Alec had showed up, stayed over and almost as soon as he left, give or take an hour, he got a phone call from the man's mother asking him to visit the institute. It could've been all an elaborate plan like his friend suggested. Maybe Ragnor was right. He needed to fix the wards fast and get out. He didn't care for Alec Lightwood if it was a trap.

"it's not a family matter" my ass, Magnus recalled Alec's plea for his help. It wasn't a family matter but a war matter. Alec was the clave's bait. He wasn't even gay. It was all a ploy.

Magnus' imagination span out of control as he stood quickly, wanting to leave as soon as possible.

 

* * *

 

Alec stood in the entrance hall waiting for the arrival of Lydia and her parents from the direct portal from Idris. He was nervous so many reasons. First was because he didn't do well with new people (even if he never showed it), secondly because when he was anxious he'd most likely do something  he'd regret, thirdly because he wanted to pull off being 'straight' to make his parents happy and fourthly because he wanted to make sure Lydia felt welcome and her parents feel at home. He didn't know how to deal with all of those emotions at once. 

On top of that, he knew Magnus was somewhere in the building. He didn't want to make a scene and try to find the man because he'd have no explanation as to why he personally knew the High Warlock of Brooklyn. It just distracted him throughout the work day. 

The noise of a portal opening shook Alec from his thoughts as a blonde woman and who he assumed were her parents stepped out. Rushing in from the corner of his eye, Maryse and Robert strode in and greeted them.

Lydia was pretty. Alec knew that from just looking at her. He just wasn't into girls. he could recognize female beauty, despite not being attracted to them. On the other hand, Magnus Bane...

No. Alec had to keep his mind straight. S t r a i g h t. 

But he didn't want to be. Not really. He didn't want to be fixed. 

He introduced himself politely in conversation with Lydia, her parents and his. They asked him about his opinions on an arranged marriage and that's when it crossed the line. He couldn't. He had to find a way out of the situation and fast. 

Izzy and Jace were out on missions all day and weren't there to save him. 

Great.

Searching the room for a familiar face as he panicked internally, Alec saw a man. He wasn't wearing traditional shadowhunter clothes and his palms glowed with a faint blue light. His style was unique and although Alec had only seen it once before, he knew the man standing across the room was Magnus Bane. 

Without thinking about his actions, Alec opened his mouth.

"Magnus! Hey, come over here for a second?" Alec shouted across the room in a slightly happy voice. 

Magnus turned around in surprise, probably because he wan't used to being called over with his first name and because he realized Alec was actually talking to him. He walked over with gracefulness in his step as he stood next to a now-shaking Alec. 

Magnus looked at Alec quizzically and Alec widened his eyes. Magnus no longer believed that Alec was a trap from that moment onward because he saw genuine fear in the man's eyes. Nobody, especially not a shadowhunter would look this way; nobody would show so much emotion over just talking to other shadowhunters."

"What is it darling?" Magnus casually replied, smiling at an appalled Maryse and Robert Lightwood and a confused Lydia. The Branwells seemed shocked as well. Alec also froze for a second. 

"Darling? Alexander? Are you with us?" Magnus chuckled, bringing Alec back into the conversation.

"S-sorry, yes, of course. Mother, Lydia, Branwells..." Alec took a breath, sending an apologetic glance to Magnus. "I'd like to introduce you to my boyfriend Magnus Bane." 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cliffhanger?? i'm sorry (i'm not) but wow. chapter 4?? already 4 updates within a week?  
> i hope everyone is liking it so far because i'm having fun writing it  
> this fic may be 15+ chapters and be a full story as i'm terrible at writing short fics??  
> i hope everyone's having a great day/night/whatever because time is a construct   
> and as always comments/criticism is welcome and kudos are pretty cool  
> i love you all x


	5. Boyfriend?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey! this is a lil late but it was cole's birthday yesterday so here's their present

_Boyfriend._

The word slipped out of Alec’s mouth as if he had said it a hundred times before.

It was an irrational split-second decision that he couldn’t take back, he’d already made the mistake and now he had to deal with the consequences.

He was still looking at Magnus, the warlock’s face had an unreadable expression, which made Alec even more nervous than he was before. Magnus had spaced out for a second but looked back at Alec and seemed to smile slightly, although it felt forced and pained.

Breaking eye contact with Magnus, Alec hesitantly looked towards his parents and the guests standing before him. Tension hung heavily and Maryse was stunned to silence as was his father. The Branwells shifted uncomfortably but their daughter, Lydia, smiled and extended her hand towards Magnus.

“Hello, Magnus. It’s lovely to meet you, you have a… reputation in Idris that precedes you.” She winks and Magnus shook her hand awkwardly. “Lydia Branwell,” She formally introduced herself “and these are my parents.” Magnus looked emotionless as he looked up to her parents; Magnus still disliked shadowhunters generally, although he’d recently discovered some were tolerable and even a select few were actually decent enough to gain status as a possible friend.

_… Boyfriend?_

Maryse looked like a deer caught in the headlights as she searched for what to say. She’d never thought she’d be in such a situation like the one she was currently present in, yet she stood with her hand over her heart, overreacting as always, as if she was about to have a heart attack.

“Alexander-”, she began, disappointment along with anger evident in her voice. Before Maryse could continue, the front doors to the institute opened loudly. They all turned to see whatever had caused the noise and saw Izzy walking in, complaining to herself about the demon ichor soaking her hair and worried aloud about if it had already stained her shoes.

Realizing the room was significantly more quiet than per usual, she slowly looked up from her shoes. Trailing off her muttered rant about a cleaning rune, she saw half of her family standing awkwardly in front of the institute’s elevator along with a shadowhunter family she did not recognize and a man with a sense of style that challenged her own. All eyes shifted from her to Alec and then her again, back and forth as if it was a tennis match, waiting to see what happened next.

She walked towards them and sighed inwardly before speaking.

“Big brother, what have you gotten yourself into this time?” Izzy started before getting a proper look at Magnus. When she did, her train of thought was sidetracked. Her eyes widened as she took in the shade on Magnus’ lips.

“Burgundy?”, she asked arching her eyebrow   

Magnus smirked knowingly. He knew Izzy had seen the lipstick mark on Alec’s cheek that morning.

“It _is_ a hard shade to pull off, darling.” Magnus, for the first time in his long life, extended his hand willingly to shake Isabelle’s. When she took it, he swiftly made the effort to kiss the back of it. She smiled radiantly at him, her gaze momentarily shifted to Alec, searching his face for an explanation.

“Isabelle!” Maryse spoke through her teeth in a hushed voice, “Don’t fraternize with the enemy!-”

This time it was Mrs. Branwell who cut off Maryse.

“Maryse, I don’t know what kind of institute you’re running here but downworlders aren’t the enemy; they haven’t been in a long time. The clave is changing.  We are in the middle of a war and warlocks like Magnus Bane are the reason why half of our soldiers aren’t already dead. The enemy is Valentine, remember that.” She said with a harsh note of power behind her voice.

Looking once again at the Branwells, Izzy and her eldest, Alec, Maryse shook her head in complete disappointment. Anger bubbled within her and before she let it spill, she excused herself from the room, not wanting to make a scene in front of guests.

Maryse  felt like her entire life’s work had been demolished in such a small one-sided conversation. Downworlders were the reason why Valentine was in power. But then she remembered that in reality, the reason he was winning was because of the mortal cup. In reality it was shadowhunters who were the enemy. They were fighting their own, the only thing separating them was the barrier of different allegiances.

Alec looked at the stairway his mother had just disappeared up in confusion. Lydia took her parents to their rooms with the help of Raj, a shadowhunter he didn’t particularly like. He’d never seen Maryse get shut down so quickly, let alone accept defeat. He was brought back from his thoughts when Izzy grabbed his arm, ushering him off to the side as Magnus looked at him with uncertainty in his eyes.

“You didn’t say it was Magnus Bane? The man’s a fashion icon Alec! Why didn’t you tell me it was him? He’s even wearing the same lipstick!”

Alec’s eyes widened for the second time in ten minutes. “Shh, I-I didn’t think it was important.. I didn’t want people to think-”

“I know, I know big brother but it’s okay. The clave can’t actually do anything to you. You’re not in a relationship, there’s nothing wrong with being gay in the eyes of the clave, just the topics of visually expressing it, reproduction and basically… basically anything that makes you seem… not straight? They’ve always been a bit...archaic...” She trailed off.

Alec took a quick glance over at Magnus who was quietly waiting. For him? Alec didn’t know but it confused him. Magnus as a person confused him. Izzy saw the expression of confusion flash over her brother’s face and her lips twisted up into a cunning smile.

Pulling him down into a hug, she brought her mouth to his ear.

“You’d better tell me about everything when you get home, Alec or I swear you’ll have to eat my cooking for an entire week.”

Alec paled. Ever since Izzy found out her cooking was subpar, she’d been using it as a punishment for both him and Jace. Alec didn’t want to be subject to such torture. Yet he feared he might have to as he didn’t want to tell his sister about his slight feelings for Magnus Bane. He nodded anyway.

“Good” Her smile showed false innocence as she pushed Alec in the direction of Magnus.

Alec stumbled over his feet, falling into a nearby pillar. Not a particularly graceful action for a shadowhunter, whose angelic reflexes usually took care of keeping him upright. He hid his face, blushing slightly in embarrassment, as he looked up at Magnus who was quietly laughing, his eyes shone and crinkling as he smiled. Alec came to the conclusion he didn’t really care that he’d just fallen into a stone pillar because the look on Magnus’ face was something that he’d probably trade the world for to be able to see again.

“I didn’t think, even in my old age, that I’d ever see the day a shadowhunter, let alone a Lightwood would accidentally fall into such an obvious piece of architecture”, Magnus teased, this only served to deepen the blush creeping up Alec’s face.

“As much as I find it endearing to see you all flustered, Alexander, I’d like to talk to you. Preferably not here in the institute. We wouldn’t want your mother seeing us together after your performance” Magnus said, his voice faltering at the last few words. While walking towards the front doors, he gestured for Alec to follow him. Alec looked back at his sister who in response rolled her eyes before turning and walking away.

When he turned around, Magnus had the door held open for him.

“Are you joining me?” Magnus smirked from the door.

Alec hid his face as he walked past Magnus and out of the Institute.

“Shut up” Alec mumbled, a smile ghosting the corners of his lips as Magnus opened a portal to his loft with the graceful wave of his hands.

Stepping out into Magnus’ living room, Alec was taken aback at how different it looked in daylight. The room was a mix of whites, blacks and reds. It was open and had rooms leading off from each side. The couch he had slept on was velvety black and all but one wall was brick; the brick-less wall painted the shade of blood red. The picture windows overlooked the city.

Magnus gestured for Alec to sit on the same couch he had slept on in the early hours of that very morning. Alec knew what conversation they were about to have and he couldn't say he was excited for any part of it. Alec sat on the edge of the cushion, his foot tapping the floor impulsively as Magnus sat beside him.

Magnus looked stoic for a moment before a small smirk emerged on his face.

“Boyfriend, Alexander?” He chuckled lightly. “I mean, you could’ve given me time to prepare, darling. All you had to do was ask.”

“I-I.. It was a mistake… I-it just happened, I’m sorry Magnus” Alec stuttered as he played with the edge of his shirt.

Magnus moved his body closer to Alec’s and Alec in response scooted to the other side of the couch, a bad move as when Magnus moved closer, he had nowhere left to move. His body leaned on the arm or the couch; he was stuck in close proximity with the man he’d said was his significant other just a short while before.

“Did you mean it?” Magnus asked quietly and Alec held his breath.

Alec knew he found Magnus incredibly attractive but the thought of being in an actual relationship with Magnus and all that entailed hadn’t allowed itself to cross his mind. He had only met Magnus for the first time that very morning and the idea itself startled him slightly.

Alec looked up at Magnus and didn’t know how to reply to such a big question. If he said yes, he didn’t want to deal with the feelings of rejection because Magnus would never like him back yet if he said no, there went any chance of any form of relationship with the warlock.

Did he mean it? Alec knew he wasn’t worthy of even Magnus’ friendship, let alone love. Nobody could compare to the High Warlock of Brooklyn. Magnus didn’t need a man like him; closed off and stubborn. Despite being told nothing was wrong with him, Alec felt guilty for wanting something he couldn’t have. He had always followed the rules by the book but even his siblings knew something was off. He’d have to thank them later for showing him the hidden cracks in the seemingly infallible clave.

He felt a gentle hand on his arm, and he turned his head to the touch, quickly blinking his eyes. Adjusting to the room around him, he realized that he’d been staring at nothing in particular while, lost in his own internal dilemma.

“Alexander?” Magnus asked softly, “Are you still with me?”

Alec didn’t know what he was doing. He still hadn’t answered Magnus’ question and was still sitting relatively close to him, their legs slightly touching, and Magnus’ hand still stationary on his arm, which made it harder for Alec to concentrate on a coherent response as all he could focus on was the warmth of Magnus’ fingers and the slight tingling sensation from where they were touching.

“I… I don’t know. I-I’m not very good at anything like this.” He muttered nervously. After a second of awkwardness, Alec spoke again. “Did you know cats don’t actually have nine lives? They only have one? Why is that saying a thing, Magnus? A cat has nine lives. For three he plays, for three he strays and for the last three he stays. Both my cats have run away, why am I being lied to?”

Magnus giggled. Actually giggled and Alec clapped a hand over his mouth, realizing his short rambling had made himself look incredibly stupid. After the initial surprise of his own tangent, he let his hand fall to his lap.

“I- you… You deserve better than me.” Alec sighed, shrugging Magnus’ hand off his arm and falling silent, his eyes stared into Magnus’ but felt empty, almost as if he was closing himself off from the rest of the world.

Magnus sobered, his smile fell and he reached to place a hand on Alec’s but Alec flinched slightly away from the touch. It was clear that Alec was indeed very new to everything, after all, he had unofficially come out that very afternoon.

“I am the one who gets to choose who and what I deserve, Alexander. You’re a leader, you’re a warrior, you care about your siblings more than yourself. You’re full of goodness and love and if anyone deserves better, it’s you.” Magnus looked down for the first time that conversation.

“How could you say t-that?” Alec stuttered, lifting Magnus’ chin with a finger cautiously. “You’re Magnus Bane… You’re the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen…” He swiped a thumb over Magnus’ cheek.

Magnus froze. For once in his life didn’t know what to say. He was speechless. Nobody in his long life had ever described him as beautiful. Pretty or Hot? He was used to those words but beautiful? It was a new word for him and it made him shiver.

“Thank you, Alexander…” Magnus blinked, still in slight shock, trailing off the end of his sentence.

Alec nervously bit his lip and experimentally held Magnus’ hand, never breaking eye contact; he didn’t know what he was doing at all but he thought he’d give his feelings a chance for once in his life.

Without looking away, he leaned closer to Magnus, his breath catching in his throat. He pushed aside his feelings of uncertainty for just a second as he scanned Magnus’ face for any sign of discomfort or regret. There wasn’t any.

Alec untangled their hands and wrapped his fingers around the back of Magnus’ neck while Magnus moved his to the hem of Alec’s shirt, firmly holding his waist. Alec’s heart beat rapidly and he was quite sure Magnus could hear it through his chest. Alec closed his eyes and sighed happily before looking at Magnus through his eyelashes. ‘How could a man like him possibly be interested in me?’ he thought to himself. He was snapped out of his thoughts by the realization of how close they actually sat; his body was trapped within the corner of the armrest, the back of the couch and Magnus’ body.  

“Can I kiss you?” Alec asked, whispering quietly, his voice barely audible.

Magnus smiled softly and nodded. “I’m all yours.” He replied.

Alec realized he was given all the incentive he needed and shut his eyes before slowly closing the little space left between him and Magnus. He had no clue what to do, he’d never kissed anyone in his life but he had seen a few rom coms with his sister and supposed he should follow what he’d seen in the movies.

Magnus’ lips were soft and warm. He didn’t know what he was expecting but he felt welcome and wanted. If he could spend the rest of his life in one moment, Alec would choose that one. His fingers grasped the hair at the back of Magnus’ neck and Magnus’ hands now rested on Alec’s chest. It wasn’t the ideal first kiss; it was messy but sweet, full of emotion but also full of discovery.

Magnus, now grasping at Alec’s shirt moved over and straddled Alec’s waist, never breaking their kiss and Alec moaned slightly.

He froze.

He had never wanted to take it that far but he lost any sense of real thought. He broke away, both of them breathing heavily and Magnus rested his forehead on Alec’s. Alec opened his eyes and met Magnus’ and he gasped.

He tried to stand, although Magnus was still sitting on him and he fell back onto the couch. He pushed Magnus off of him and abruptly stood. Magnus looked hurt for a split second before his protective demeanor reassembled itself over his face.

“I-That was a mistake…” Alec said in a quiet voice, regret evident in his voice.

“A mistake?” Magnus replied, hurt behind his words.

“I-I’m sorry Magnus. I have to go” Alec rushed, grabbing his jacket and hurried to the front door. He looked back at Magnus with a sad expression.

“In another world, I could love you, Magnus. I’m so sorry…”

“You could still give me a chance, Alexander. The clave is wrong, you know that!” Magnus argued, standing and following Alec to where he stood by the door.

Alec closed his eyes, his conflicting thoughts arguing in his head. He wished he could have who he wanted but he had to make his family proud.

Family first, him second. He had to be loyal, do what his parents wanted. He opened the door and stepped out.

“Goodbye Magnus.” Alec finally said, still standing outside of Magnus’ loft. He shrugged on his jacket and sighed. Magnus took his hand and Alec turned around.

“I-I’m really sorry” His voice was breaking.

Magnus leaned in and kissed him softly. “Don’t.” he replied, letting go of Alec’s hand. Magnus watched as Alec walked into the stairwell out of his sight before he turned and walked back into his own home, sitting back onto the couch he’d been sitting with Alec just moments before. He called Ragnor for the second time that day and let his head fall into his hands.

It had only been a day but Magnus Bane was slowly falling in love. With a shadowhunter. Something he swore he would never do. He couldn’t go through the pain of love again. But this time, it felt different. He was different.

Alec Lightwood.

  
The boy who had stolen his heart but wouldn’t love him back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope y'all liked the ending of this chapter ;) it was 3k words so that's why it was a lil late!  
> i'm setting up an update schedule as i type this and right now i'll be updating every friday  
> so look out for that!  
> as always i'd love to hear feedback (+ kudos make me feel validation)  
> i hope you all have a good day x


	6. Alright?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i lied. i'm randomly updating this fic without a schedule because i can't stop writing.

Alec ran from Magnus' loft as fast as he could without using his agility rune. He was the one to make the first move, hell, he was the person who asked if he could kiss Magnus in the first place. Yet he was the person to run away. And on top of that he'd run away without any explanation whatsoever. He had played Magnus; accidentally of course. Despite knowing nothing about relationships, Alec still knew he had lead him on. 

Directly after rushing down the stairs, almost tripping over his own shoelaces, Alec took the quickest route back to the institute. The subway ride home was the worst he'd ever been on as it was eerily quiet and the near-silence forced him to think, which at that moment was what Alec was trying to avoid. 

He needed to talk to Isabelle. 

He  had promised to tell her everything that happened anyways but he also needed her guidance. Her help. 

He hoped to god that she'd take him seriously and not make a joke about his situation.

By the time Alec turned onto the corner the institute was located, his initial guilt that originally made him feel sick to his stomach had simmered down to a low hum ever-present in the back of his mind. It wouldn't go away and was quieter, but it was still loud enough to give him a headache.

"Damn" He thought, stopping halfway up the steps to the front door. He had forgotten that he informally came out to his parents that very afternoon. Alec would have to deal with his parents and maybe even the clave sooner or later. If he was from a smaller family, it probably would've been less of a big deal.  He hated his last name sometimes; it was both a blessing an a curse. 

Lightwood. 

The name had several definitions in Alec's mind. Authority and trust paired with outdated tradition and lies. That sounded about right. 

Alec slipped through the front doors easily; he was used to sneaking out a couple times with his siblings (against his personal warnings of course). 

It was early evening and the sun was setting behind the institute, the elaborate stained glass windows let sunlight shine through into the many of the building's rooms. Alec walked casually through the entrance hall and up through the main room, never drawing any attention to himself before stopping outside of his sisters room. 

He raised his hand to knock on the door and paused. He wasn't one for sharing feelings, he wasn't even sure there were feelings to talk about. 

He wasn't sure if it was Magnus he was attracted to or just the idea that another man was attracted to him. Sure Magnus Bane was pretty but Alec had only known him for a day. And in that day he'd already kissed him twice and hurt him.  Plus, he didn't just want to like someone for their looks, but also their personality... 

The problem was that Alec also found Magnus' personality intriguing and yearned to learn more about the man. He wanted to spend time with him. 

But he had just ran away. He was a shadowhunter, he should have known that running away from your problems just made them ten times worse than they were to begin with. 

Making up his mind, Alec lightly knocked on Izzy's room; she was most likely taking a nap in result from her mission earlier in the day. 

He knocked again, slightly louder. 

"Come in." He heard her voice from the other side of the door. 

Entering the room, Alec saw his sister lying on her bed with a blanket wrapped around her shoulders. The institute's stone walls made the rooms cold, even in New York's unbelievably hot heatwaves.  

"Alec! Why are you home so soon? What happened! OH! How's Magnus?!" She said in a fast, consecutive order, ending with a smirk and a wink; Alec sighed in defeat and slumped down on the edge of Izzy's bed. 

"Iz, I kissed him..."

"Alec! That's great! How was it? I want details..." Izzy eagerly replied, throwing off her blanket before crawling over to sit next to her older brother. 

"Izzy, you don't get it... I asked if I could kiss him..."

"Yeah? You were being a gentleman Alec!" Izzy said, her eyes lighting up ever more slightly. 

"No... I kissed him. He wanted me to kiss him. I did too Iz but then... t-then he sat on my lap Iz...and I freaked out and said I had to go and- by the angel... I ruined everything didn't I. I used him Izzy. I left him and... and he's the fucking High Warlock of Brooklyn. I let down the High Warlock of Brooklyn. I let that go." Alec rambled. 

Izzy sat there patiently, waiting for Alec to let his feelings out into the air. 

"Do you have any idea why big brother?" She asked. Now treating the situation as more serious, she lay a hand on her brother's shoulder. Alec tensed. 

"Iz... I'm gay." Alec murmured, his voice shaky as he admitted out loud his true self to another person for the first time. 

"I know, I know Alec. Jace and I have known for a while now. That's why Jace kept making those jokes about you having a girlfriend last year. We wanted you to come out on your own time but you wouldn't even consider it despite it being clear for even us to see."

"But you come first. This comes first. My job, my expectations, my entire life, Iz, It comes first. relationships come second. And IF, I could be with a man, I still couldn't have Magnus." Alec felt a wave of tiredness hit him and he let his back fall onto Izzy's mattress behind him. 

"Alec. You heard Mrs. Branwell. Downworlders aren't the enemy. The clave is changing and those rules are ancient; probably older than Magnus if I'm honest. Go get him if he'll have you. He's the High Warlock but you're a Lightwood, if anyone is good enough for him, it's you." Izzy finished, picking up her blanket and cocooning herself like she was when Alec entered. 

"Close the door when you leave" She mumbled "And stop lying to yourself Alec, I love you, Jace loves you and for his sake, give Magnus the chance to love you too..." Izzy whispered before falling back to sleep. 

Alec left the room and shut the door, wanting to escape the words of their heartfelt conversation yet the words followed him down every hallway. 

"Stop lying to yourself... Give Magnus the chance to love you." bounced around his head as if his thoughts were a thousand bouncy balls stuck in a laundry dryer.  

He wasn't on duty for the rest of the day unless there was a last minute emergency that needed backup so Alec decided it would be best for him to just go to sleep. He promised himself that he'd make everything okay in the morning, he'd make his parents happy in the morning. He'd sort out his feelings in the morning. 

It'd all be alright. Alright?

 

* * *

 

Ragnor appeared through a portal in Magnus' living room for the second time that day, and although he was properly dressed this time, he still looked unbelievably tired.

"Magnus... You have never called upon me twice in a day, let alone request my presence more than once a month. Before today, you hadn't seen my face in four years, and now you want to see me twice?" Ragnor said in disbelief as he stared at Magnus' hunched body on his couch.

"All this for the Lightwood boy?" He continued and Magnus' head lifted to nod. "Old friend, you once told me you'd never love again. What happened?"

"It's not like I planned for any of this to happen Ragnor!" Magnus replied exasperatedly. He held his head in his hands and his back was hunched up. Ragnor sat beside him. "He's just... different. He is innocent and he wants to make things right but-"

"But what?" Ragnor cut in, raising an eyebrow in question. He was taking his friend's feelings more seriously now. 

"But he keeps giving me false hope! He comes over after I invite him. I talk to him. I let him make the first move! He even asked if he could kiss me?!"

"I'm failing to see the problem here Magnus..." Ragnor sighed. 

"He won't give me a chance." Magnus leaned his cheek on his palm. "One minute he'll be there kissing me and then he'll push me away and say he couldn't even consider the possibility of us having anything close to a relationship..." he trailed off. 

They sat in a neutral silence for a while. Magnus was lost in his thoughts however Ragnor was reconsidering his opinions on Alec Lightwood. From Magnus' description of the man, He came to the conclusion that Alec wasn't a threat to his friend. He had known Magnus for hundreds of years, he'd seen him go through a handful of heartbreaks and the last thing he wanted was a repeat of Camille. 

"Magnus," He placed an hand on his friend's knee. "Is he worth it? Honestly. Is he worth your time? You're immortal my friend. Is he worth the pain? The loss?"

"I've known him for less than a day! You can't expect me to answer that." 

"Bullshit Magnus. You told me you loved Camille an hour after you met her? Maybe even less. If Alexander Lightwood means so much to you and has somehow broken down the walls you've built around your heart then I'll be damned, I can admit that I never saw it coming but you had better not give up on him. If he's so different, if he's really unlocked that stone heart of yours, let him in. Fight for him. Show him he deserves you and for the love of god, don't keep your past from him, it'll only make things worse. If you truly do care about him, let him in Mags."

They talked into the night until Ragnor had to leave to check on a potion he was brewing. 

Fight for him. 

Magnus did not often have to fight for anything. He could make things happen without lifting a finger... Well, maybe the flick of a hand -magic did have its perks, but it was fresh territory for Magnus. 

People yearned to be in a relationship with him. Even going to his parties were a big deal for some people. Yet Alec Lightwood was able to have what so many others would only dream of having... and yet he discarded it and left Magnus hurt. And the worst part was that he never intended any of it. 

He hadn't wanted to be gay. Magnus had to remember that their first encounter had been because Alec's internalized homophobia had drawn him to the point that he was willing to consult a warlock to change who he was. 

Alec hadn't wanted to find Magnus attractive, yet Magnus had continuously flirted with him, despite knowing in the back of his head that Alec might not have been comfortable with it. 

Alec hadn't wanted to come out to his family that day, yet Magnus had kissed his cheek and in turn outed him without his consent. He'd gone along with Alec's nervous 'boyfriend' incident and then made a joke about it. 

He had asked to kiss him but ran away. 

Deep down, Magnus knew that Alec hadn't wanted anything to do with him. It was just a turn of events that had affected them and Magnus couldn't go through another emotional break-up. 

That's the reason why he chose not to love.

He decided he wouldn't seek out Alec anymore; he came to the conclusion the man would cause him more pain than happiness. However he still heard Ragnor's words.

"Fight for him. Show him he deserves you..."

'Fight or flight.' He thought to himself; right then, both him and Alec had taken the flight solution.

He told himself he'd fight for Alec once he realized he was able to 'have' him. There'd be no point in fighting for someone who didn't want to be fought for.  

 

* * *

 

Magnus kept to himself for 3 weeks, taking on client after client to distract himself from thoughts of Alec. Alternatively, Alec took on any mission available and trained until his body hurt from overexertion.

It wasn't a healthy cycle and Izzy noticed after the first week. 

Since the day Magnus had reinforced the Institute's wards three weeks before, she'd kept in contact with him. She'd even gone clothes shopping with the man yet whenever she mentioned Alec to him, he somehow managed to change the subject. She went with it but saw through his deception; She knew something was wrong. 

Izzy also saw her brother was hurting as whenever she mentioned Magnus, he promptly left the room with a vague excuse to train or file paperwork. Their parents refused to talk to Alec about anything other than work and she saw it was taking a toll on him. 

Then came the day she walked into the training room at 3 am to see Alec alone in the corner repeatedly punching a punching bag. From a distance everything looked normal but as she came closer, she saw his hands were raw and bloodied. Alec was beating himself up and Izzy knew it had to have something to do with Magnus Bane. 

She could understand if her brother was feeling down about his conflict but it _had_ been three weeks and now he was physically hurting. That's where she drew the line. 

Whether they liked it or not, Izzy _was_ going to get them to talk, even if it was the last thing she did. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ;) i hope y'all liked this shorter ish chapter?  
> it's just a lil filler but next chapter is important!!!  
> as always, tell me your opinions & i'll say hi x  
> (+kudos make me happy ;) )  
> also?? thanks for 3k hits?? i never thought anyone would read this so thank you?


	7. Alexander?

Alec knew Izzy was up to something ever since she walked into the training room that night a few days previous. He didn't know what it was she was planning on doing and wasn't particularly sure if he really wanted to find out. Sisters were odd sometimes. He just hoped he wasn't in the center of her plans. The last thing he wanted was an intervention. 

Everything was abnormal these days.   

Alec sat at the end of his uncomfortable mattress in his room at the institute. He drifted beyond his thoughts. When he got home from Magnus' loft for the first time, through that portal to his room, everything looked different. Now, his room looked dull. There was hardly anything in it; a bookcase full of books on one wall and a wardrobe full of plain shapeless clothing in the other. There was a small window on the furthest wall that didn't get much sunlight and his shadowhunter gear lay over the back of a plain wooden chair.  What Alec meant to be describing was that his room looked like a prison; just as Magnus had described the institute. 

Magnus.

Weeks had passed since the last time he'd seen him and even more had transpired since they'd last spoken. 

He didn't give himself time to even consider thinking about the stylish man who made him feel happiness, want, fondness and awe- Alec couldn't call it love, he'd known Magnus for too short of a time frame ; it couldn't be love. not at all. Not yet. He felt pathetic. He was a shadowhunter, he was trained to handle combat and fighting and war but when it came to his own emotions, he was helpless. He felt pathetic because no matter how hard he tried to forget Magnus Bane, he couldn't get rid of him. 

Alec knew it was his fault. If he hadn't left in such a rush, he would've hopefully still been with Magnus -that is if Magnus hadn't grown bored with him already. He didn't get what Magnus saw in him and it puzzled Alec immensely. 

He realized he was thinking as if him and Magnus were in a relationship. Or as if they were even on speaking terms. They hadn't talked in what felt like years but in reality only spanned a couple of weeks, which for Alec who was extremely new to love and heartbreak, felt like forever. Not to mention his conflicting thoughts were tearing his head and heart into shreds. 

Shadowhunters were allowed these attachments but weren't allowed for them to have any effect on their work, which added onto the stress of having to hide his emotions. It was easy for Alec to hide the fact he was gay; he'd been doing it for years, however hiding his complex feelings for a 'controversial' male warlock was harder. Somehow, Alec managed it, letting out his frustration and pain through countless punching bags and ice packs. He didn't think he deserved to use an Iratze; healing runes to Alec were an easy way to 'solve' a complicated problem. 

He stood from his perch at the end of his bed when his phone buzzed in his jacket. He walked over to the chair with his gear and picked his coat up. Fishing it out of his pocket, he saw he had a text from Izzy and two missed calls from Jace. He called back without a second thought.

"Alec!" Jace sighed in relief "Finally you answer. Too busy thinking about Magnus to sense your parabatai needs help?" Jace chuckled.

"I don't want to talk about him Jace." Alec replied flatly, his voice devoid of any emotion despite the fact that he felt sick even thinking about him. 

"It was a joke Alec... Anyway, it seems I do need backup so I was hoping you'd like to join me at some 3 am demon hunting dear brother?"

"Sure. Just, um... text me where and I'll be there in, I don't know, half an hour?" Alec sighed inwardly, puling his gear back on. "A-and please don't talk about him."

"Just get here soon Alec, don't worry." Jace quickly said before hanging up. A few seconds later Alec got a text with an address to a penthouse in the upper east side of New York. Jace was supposed to be in lower Manhattan...

The days kept getting more strange. 

He picked up his bow and quiver and called a cab, rushing out of the institute's front doors and into the chilly summer night. Weapons glamoured, he climbed into the cab and was driven the majority of the way in almost good timing; Alec got out when he realized he would be late if the car wouldn't go faster and activated his agility rune, running the rest of the way. 

He was late anyway and was greeted by a slumped Jace on the building's front steps.

"Alec! You took long enough. There's a swarm of demons on the penthouse floor and I thought it'd be best if we had some backup." Jace said as he stood, gesturing for Alec to follow him. Alec did.

"We?" Alec asked in between breaths; he was still catching his breath from running. "You didn't take the mission alone? You said you took the mission alone Jace! Just to see what was going on, then you'd come home. Who did you take with you?"

"Change of plans." Alec heard a familiar female voice coming from the lobby of the building as he walked through the revolving front door. Izzy sat in the chair behind the lobby security desk with her feet resting on the table in front of her. "Big brother, there are too many demons here to let loose. We have to stop them at the source like we've been trained to do." Alec nodded absently. She sighed, stood and walked over to her two brothers. "Ready?" 

"Yeah whatever, let's get this over with..." Alec replied bluntly, he supposed fighting would distract him from his thoughts from earlier that night; the adrenaline and thought of dying in battle felt favorable compared to actually accepting his feelings.  He walked into the elevator after his siblings and pressed the penthouse button. He really hoped the fighting would distract him.

 

* * *

 

Isabelle was the only shadowhunter Magnus could tolerate anymore. The only problem was that she reminded him of Alec too much; the resemblance between her and Alec sometimes made his heart clench and his protective mask build up a wall stronger than usual. Whenever she brought him up, he'd flip the subject of conversation and change whatever topic they were previously talking about. Every time he did it, he saw a look of hurt in her eyes. 

He could see that not only did Alec care greatly for his siblings but also that Isabelle deeply cared about them too. Magnus wondered how Maryse and Robert Lightwood had raised children so unlike themselves. Their children were kind and accepting and educated whereas they were cold, stubborn, prejudiced and traditional. Polar opposites. 

Magnus sat in his living room on his favourite armchair. He had recently moved his loft to a new location. A fresh start, further from the institute. Further from Alec. The upper east side. His balcony doors were open and the new location meant he had a different view. It was less loud and it comforted him. He was getting old and settling down wasn't something he was considering yet but if he had to stay in New York for the rest of his life, he decided he'd stay there. 

He had just got off the phone with Izzy who was having a fashion crisis. After telling her his new address and making her promise she wouldn't tell Alec, he invited her over to help with her dilemma; she was going to a party the next day and she had nothing suitable to wear. Izzy said she'd be around in two hours and Magnus had nothing to do. 

He decided to redecorate. 

His loft had stayed almost the same for over a century. Of course he'd redecorated every now and then but he kept the same colour scheme. Blood red, blacks, whites, greys... 

Camille. 

Even decades later, she still had an influence. Blood red. Blood. Camille subconsciously found a way into Magnus' life. He was done with it. 

He went back to basics and chose greens and browns. He kept exposed brick walls and the white drape curtains he had before but changed the couch's colour to a rich velvet green. 

Plants. He needed life in his loft. He needed it to be a place that made him feel at home. No reminders of who and what had hurt him could remain. He looked around at his 'new' loft and felt himself relax slightly. Camille finally had no hold over him. His eyes skimmed over a dark brown wall he hadn't remembered he'd put there. The colour was familiar but he couldn't put his finger on what it reminded him of. He figured he'd remember it sometime later in the day.

His phone on his new glass coffee table broke him out of his contemplation and he picked it up. It was a text from Isabelle saying she was half an hour away. 

Magnus checked the time. It was half-past two in the morning. He wasn't remotely tired physically but mentally, he didn't think drama like what had happened between him and Alec would take such a toll on him; he had in fact felt worse feelings in his life yet he didn't let them hurt him as much as he let Alec hurt him.

He stood and walked to his kitchen; he was going to make tea for the both of them as he found actually manually making tea himself was more relaxing than 'borrowing' it from the shop down the street... Plus it was almost 2 am and the shop wasn't even open at that time of night. 

He busied himself for the 20 minutes, coming up with different dress ideas for Izzy as he waited for her patiently. He valued their friendship, even if it did pain him to be reminded of Alec. It was something he decided he had to bare. He gave up on fighting for Alec weeks before but at least he was still on good terms with one of the Lightwoods.  At least he could stay up to date with what Alec was doing. He wanted the best for Alec's life, even if it meant he wasn't a part of it. 

 

* * *

 

Alec, Izzy and Jace walked out of the elevator into a thin hallway with a single double-door halfway down. 

"Alec. Stop for a second." Jace whispered. He put a hand on Alec's chest to stop him from advancing towards the door. "I know- I know I said I wouldn't talk about it but brother, you have to stop beating yourself up because of Magnus."

Alec pushed his way past Jace's hand and said nothing. Jace grabbed his arm in response but Alec persisted and managed to break free again.

"Come on Alec, can't you see that we care about you? You keep throwing yourself into these situations without any thought whatsoever! It's going to get you killed Alec. All because you're in love with Magnus Bane and you can't seem to come to terms with the fact that he means more to you than you think!" Jace raised his voice from a forced whisper to a quiet shout.

Alec froze and slowly turned back to face his siblings.

"I am not in love with him!" Alec yelled. He never lost his temper but this was an exception. All of his pent up regret and anger from his thoughts flooded out of him in a matter of seconds. "You know, I'd expect this from mom and dad but not from you Jace, I thought you'd get that? What? With you in love with your sister? How's that going for you? I don't bring it up! I at least respect your decision to not talk about it but you bring up Magnus as a joke all the time and do you know what that's like? No. No you don't so shut the fuck up. This isn't about him. I'm just trying to do my job." The second the words left his mouth, Alec regretted them. Some of his statements were true but he didn't mean to say them out loud, his brother deserved better, Jace had already gone through enough in his lifetime. Now he'd probably made his brother feel even more unnecessary guilt on his behalf. 

"I-I'm so-"

"No," Jace cut Alec off "You're right... I'm sorry Alec. But you have to realize you'll have to face it one day brother."

Alec turned back around and started towards the door again. "That day is not happening for a long time..."

"Alec, we only want the best for you!" Izzy sighed, calling after her brother.

"If you want the best for me, don't talk to me about him okay?" Alec replied, his voice softer and full of emotion. He knew he was lying to himself but he was closing himself off. He felt weak asking for help and denying everything made sure no help would be given to him. He stood directly in front of the set of doors, his siblings still at the end of the hall at the elevator. 

Alec cleared his throat. "Well? Come on, let's do our job..." Jace and Izzy didn't move. 

"Alec..." Izzy answered. Her voice held an undertone of warning woven between the single word despite only speaking her brother's name. 

Alec placed a hand on the doorknob and Izzy walked closer in caution, as if the door was a lion that hadn't eaten in weeks. 

"Alec," Izzy continued "It's late. They're just demons, they're probably just here for the luxury of a penthouse, they're no harm right now. We should go."

"Yeah, bro I'm getting a little tired. I agree with Iz, let's call it a night." Jace agreed, scratching the back of his head.

Alec looked between his sister and Jace. None of them met his eye contact. 

"What's going on with you both?" Neither of them replied.

He felt uneasy. He'd come to back them up at three in the morning and now they were calling it off? There was something off. He knew something was wrong before he arrived. He de-glamoured his weapon and defensively held his bow. 

"What have you done with my siblings?" Alec demanded, taking an arrow from his quiver.

"Alec! It's us, we just think it's not safe to fight if we're this tired!" Izzy argued.

"No, this is some sort of excuse!" Alec said in a raised voice once again. He pointed to his siblings. "You two don't think I can do my job. I promise you, my feelings are under control. I am under control. I'll prove it."

Alec slung his bow over his shoulder and returned the arrow to it's place in his quiver. He laid his hand across the doorknob and opened the door. 

He walked in and saw no initiation of demon activity at all, however he did feel a sense of  déjà vu. The room felt familiar. It reminded him of a dream he had. The day became more peculiar as it went on and it was only 3 am.

"Ah, Isabelle, dear. I took the liberty to actually prepare tea myself so I apologize in advance if it's not up to your standard. I'll be out in a second darling, make yourself comfortable." A man called from another room. 

Magnus. 

He'd just broken into Magnus Bane's loft. The High Warlock of Brooklyn. The man who had made his life hell for weeks for no other reason than his own stupid mistake. None of this was on Magnus. Magnus didn't deserve any of it. Alec couldn't deal with this. Not now. 

Alec looked back to the door he'd just walked through to see it being shut by Jace. 

"It's something we had to do. I'm sorry." Jace whispered just loud enough for Alec to hear. He was annoyed- no, not annoyed. Alec was pissed off. The man he opened his heart to and made him question everything he ever knew was in the other room and his siblings deliberately lied to him and set him up. He told them he wasn't ready to do this. He told them he'd do it in his own time.

He scanned the room for any sign of a quick escape and saw the balcony doors were slightly propped open by a doorstop. Before he could act on his plan, Magnus walked out from his bedroom holding his cat. Alec's breath caught in his throat.

Magnus looked more attractive than when they had first met, which was a feat Alec didn't think was possible. His hair was wavy and pushed back but fell naturally without any product in it. He wore tight jeans and a silk dressing gown but no shirt underneath. His makeup was the most subtle he had seen it to date. Alec thought he was beautiful. 

In that moment, Alec forgot why he ran from Magnus in the first place. He looked in awe at the man who was too infatuated with his cat to realize it wasn't Izzy standing in his entrance hall. 

Magnus seemed to sense something was wrong when the chairman leaped from his arms and ran over to Alec. Finally looking up towards him, Magnus saw Alec. They caught each other's eye and Alec blinked and swallowed back his words; he didn't want to say something and make things worse.

"Alexander? May I ask, why are you here?" Magnus spoke awkwardly, bunching up his dressing gown around his exposed chest. 

"Uh-um I...I really don't know to be honest..." Alec looked down at the floor in awkwardness and guilt. He didn't have a clue of what he what he was doing at all. 

"I was expecting your dear sister Isabelle. I suppose she has something to do with this hm?" Magnus speculated, taking a seat on his new sofa. Alec nodded.

"Yeah... Um Jace called be for back-up on a mission and gave me this address? Uh and then Iz was also here and they told me there was h-high demon activity in this area... I should be going... I-I'm sorry for interrupting Mag- Bane." Alec finished and turned back to face the door. 

"Wait." Magnus called after him. "They're right you know..." 

"About what?" Alec turned back around to face Magnus who gestured for him to take a seat opposite to him.

"They brought you here for a reason Alexander, do you know why that might be?"

"Yes..." Alec said too quiet for Magnus to hear.

"What was that? I'm a warlock darling, I don't have super powers." He laughed to himself. 

"I know why they brought me here Magnus..." He trailed off. 

"And why would that be hm?"

Alec paused for a second. Magnus was willing to listen to his feelings. He was willing to talk to him civilly, despite the fact that Alec had hurt him. Magnus was giving him a chance to explain. Instead of sitting opposite to him, Alec sat next to him. He kept eye contact and started to speak. 

"Magnus... You have to understand. I'm n-not good at, well, any of this. It was all so fast and I'd only come to terms with myself properly that very day and I wasn't sure if I liked you or just the idea of a man liking me... I-It was so new. And my family Magnus, they've always come first for me. Always. I've given up so many things for them, given up people for them, pretended to be things I wasn't for them. I thought that for once, getting what I wanted was okay. And then my parents flipped out and everything that I'd done for them meant nothing. Everything I'd given up, everything I sacrificed and pretended to be was worthless. And on top of that, I'd given you up to make them happy but they couldn't care less about me as a person after I called you my boyfriend and they only cared about the job I could do in favour of the institute. They no longer seemed to care for the son that they had raised, just the soldier they trained... And I was meaning to tell you Magnus, I really was, I just didn't know how. It hurt. It still does but Magnus Bane, if there's one thing I want you to get from this shitty excuse for the worst mistake of my life, it's that I'm falling in love with you... And I honestly have no idea what to do..."

Alec hadn't expected his feelings to spill so easily yet he suspected that because he kept them trapped inside and to himself for so long, they slipped out effortlessly. 

It took a minute for Magnus to catch up to Alec; it was a lot of information to process and take in when it was already a shock to have Alec in his home in the first place.

"Alexander..." Magnus finally said, his voice was full of emotion. He regretted being so passive aggressive towards Alec. If he'd figured out there were ulterior motives as to why Alec had run from his loft that night, he would've not run away. He would've fought for him. He should've fought for him. 

"Magnus, I'm sorry.. I-I shouldn't have r-run away like that. I should've told you. I-"

Alec's rambling apology was cut short as Magnus' lips met Alec's. His eyes widened and she froze for a split second before he closed them and held onto the sides of Magnus' dressing gown, slowly responding to the soft kiss he hoped would last forever. 

Magnus broke away and rested his forehead on Alec's and stared into his eyes. Brown. But not a boring brown. No, Alec's eyes were captivating, brown with flecks of gold. In that instant, Magnus realized the brown wall he painted hours before was the colour of Alec's eyes. 

"Clueless nephilim, If only you identified feelings as well as you identified demons..." Alec raised an eyebrow and wore a small smile. Magnus sighed " Alexander, I realized I was falling in love with you from the very moment I met you."

Initially, Alec was angry his siblings had tricked him to walk into Magnus' apartment unknowingly and unwillingly but now he couldn't thank them enough. He knew Jace would feel his change of mood through their parabatai bond and wished he could send his gratitude through feelings. 

"Darling." Magnus yawned and looked over at the clock. It was almost 4 am and they were both growing tired. "Would you like to stay over? I could take the couch this time. You look like you need a good sleep."

"Magnus, it's alright. I'll stay over but I can take the couch. I am your guest." Alec also yawned, his eyes watered from the act. 

Magnus stood and stopped in the doorway to his bedroom. "You know, what you said at the institute could still apply. I mean, of course only if you want it to apply?" Magnus smirked. 

Alec was confused for a second until he realized what Magnus meant. 

Boyfriend. 

Magnus was asking him to be his boyfriend. 

"I-I uh.. okay?" Alec awkwardly spluttered out and Magnus laughed with a hearty laugh.

"Alright then, it's settled!" Magnus said almost too cheerily, walking into the room without closing the  door behind him. 

Alec turned his head in puzzlement. "What's settled?" He called out. 

Seconds later, he saw Magnus step out of the doorway. He now only wore his boxers and his dressing gown. "Darling, I won't let my boyfriend sleep on the couch!" He exclaimed, feigning distress "Come now Alexander, I don't bite, it's just a bed. I'll portal you back to your prison in the morning."

Alec smiled and followed his boyfriend, Magnus Bane into his bedroom. He gave Alec some pajama bottoms to sleep in and he held Magnus as they slept. It was all so new to him and it sure as hell scared him but it was what he wanted. He wouldn't let his parents take his happiness away from him any longer. He didn't know what he'd done in a past life to deserve the man in his arms but he hoped he wouldn't make a mess of what he had. Only weeks ago did he think he didn't want to be in the unfortunate situation of falling in love with a male downworlder yet there he was being the happiest he was in his life. 

The only problem was the clave. 

The war. 

Valentine.

Dying. 

Making a mistake.

Doing something wrong. 

Not being enough. 

Alec pushed the thoughts from his dreams. Instead, he thought of a future with his boyfriend, the High Warlock of Brooklyn, Magnus Bane. 

For all Alec knew, the world could be burning around him but so long as he was with Magnus, he felt safe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey pals, here's the longest chapter yet (it was supposed to be 2.2k words long but I couldn't stop writing and now its 4.1k)  
> i hope everyone likes the rekindling between them <3  
> i will never have a true update schedule so look out for random updates  
> and i hope everyone is doing well!  
> if you want, give me feedback in the comments  
> \+ kudos motivate me to keep writing x


	8. Is This What Love is Like?

It was earlier than the usual time Alec woke up. Half past five in the morning and he was sleeping in Magnus' room. Not used to a new surrounding, Alec woke up in a panic; for a second he was disoriented and unsure of where he was. If it were not for Magnus' arms wrapped around his waist, he was sure he would've fallen out of bed but Magnus kept him grounded. Alec finally felt like for once in his life, he somewhat belonged where he was. 

Alec still had no idea as to why Magnus had settled for someone as boring as he was; He saw Magnus and his magnificence, the power behind his name, the reputation, the style, the High Warlock of Brooklyn, the fact he was immortal and would live to see him die. 

No. 

Alec had to remind himself that Magnus had to have chosen him for a reason. He was there for a reason. Hell, Magnus wasn't even awake yet he held onto Alec like a lifeline, as if Alec was a force of being that kept him from slipping into nightmares. 

Alec was notorious for overthinking. Isabelle said it was one of his worse traits; always thinking of the worst possible outcome. He lay on the right side of Magnus' four poster bed with Magnus' arms wrapped around him, surrounding him with warmth not even the best blanket had ever given him. He looked down at the warlock in his arms and smiled fondly. 

Magnus had chosen him. Magnus was actually his boyfriend. 

He must've lost himself in his own thoughts as Alec realized he had been caught up in looking at Magnus for an hour and that his phone alarm had gone off in his jacket and began to stir Magnus from his sleep. 

He tried to untangle his body from Magnus' grasp yet whenever he tried, Magnus ended up holding on tighter. As a shadowhunter, Alec theoretically had the ability to get out of the grasp Magnus had on him but instead, he succumbed to the warmth of his boyfriend who turned off his alarm with the click of his fingers.

"Morning" Alec sighed contently.

Magnus didn't reply but hummed in response, tucking his head into the crook of Alec's neck. Alec didn't ever think he'd get to see that side of Magnus. He was known as being a strong and important warlock but now Alec could see he was just a person underneath as was he himself. His second alarm went off to remind him that he in fact couldn't stay with Magnus for any longer. 

For the second time, Alec attempted to stand. He needed to get back to the Institute. His parents pushed him more than he was used to since the 'boyfriend' incident from weeks before. It had been a lie before- not now. It was real now. 

"Do you have to go?" Magnus mumbled as he reluctantly let go of Alec, causing Alec to stumble forward as for one second he was pulling against a force and after another, there was nothing to keep him back. 

Alec heard the sound of ripping fabric from beneath him and hoped he hadn't ruined the pajamas Magnus had kindly given to him. He looked down to see that he'd ripped his shirt that he discarded to the floor before falling asleep the night before. He was trained for avoiding obstacles yet he tripped over his own shirt. Alec wondered if it was simply because he was careless or if it was because he tended to do stupid things in front of Magnus. 

Magnus sat up quickly, despite the fact he looked tired, to see what had happened and chairman meow ran into the room; apparently the rip of clothing was loud enough for both of them to hear. Seeing the ordeal, Magnus laughed and sat up. Alec scowled but couldn't stay annoyed as his boyfriend's smile was one that brightened the room. 

"You know I have to go Mags." Alec murmured, picking up his shirt and assessing the damage done. His shirt was unwearable.  

"Mags?" Magnus chuckled "I didn't think you'd be one to call me a nickname darling." 

"Things change" Alec smiled back. He held his shirt up for Magnus to see. Magnus caught the idea and got out of bed. 

"Well, Alec, what kind of shirt are you looking for?" Magnus said, walking over to his extensive closet.

"Um, couldn't you just fix it? Magnus it's just a shirt."

"What's the fun in that Alexander? I'd much rather see you wearing my shirt for the day-  well at least until you get to the institute. Hopefully Isabelle will catch you before you get to change" Magnus teased. He snapped his fingers and Alec's torn shirt disappeared from his hand. Alec suspected he'd thrown it into a garbage compactor or a volcano. 

He pulled on his jeans and thigh holster and turned towards Magnus who was now going through his least tasteful shirts. He emerged holding two. One was black with sequins spelling 'blink if you want me'. The other was a white HBA sweater with the word 'bitch' printed in black that looked too big for Alec, which made him wonder how big was it on Magnus... 

"The sweater Mags. I don't know why you brought the other one out if I'm honest." Alec shook his head but smiled fondly

"It was worth a shot" Magnus smiled back, putting away the sequined shirt. "Be careful darling, this is a very expensive sweater. Try not to fight any demons while wearing it alright?"

Alec nodded yes as he slipped it over his head, the sleeves were longer than his arms and the hem of the shirt fell halfway past his thighs. Alec felt like it was some sort of dress and although it probably looked amazing on Magnus, he was scared it didn't look good on him; he was used to wearing loose plain clothing, not over-sized pieces of fashion.  He felt slightly awkward until he felt how soft the actual sweater was and let go of his uncertainty. 

Magnus sensed the tension fall and pulled the hood over Alec's head. He retrieved Alec's  jacket and handed it to him. 

"Magnus, I really have to go. C-can you do your thing?" Alec slightly stuttered, waving his hands around, imitating Magnus when he performed magic. 

The other man let out a heartfelt laugh and within a few seconds, a portal to an alleyway close to the institute was open in the doorway of Magnus' bedroom. Alec raised his eyebrow, questioning why he wasn't being portalled to his bedroom like the last time he slept over. 

"Darling, portalling you outside the institute will give you the chance to bump into our dear Isabelle and maybe even your brother Jake." Magnus softly held onto Alec's arm to stop him from leaving quickly. 

"His name is Jace, Magnus" Alec laughed "Besides, I can wear my jacket over top, nobody has to know"

"Ah, so that's his name." Magnus mused for a second "And Alexander? You'll crumple the fabric if you wear your jacket" He pat down Alec's shoulders and smoothed out the sleeves. 

"Uh, okay. Ah, Um Magnus?" Alec asked. 

"Yes muffin?" Magnus replied and Alec stifled a laugh. "No?" Magnus asked in response. 

"Please don't call me that again." Alec shook his head. 

"Whatever you say babe." Magnus tried. Alec in response told him that babe also wasn't an appropriate nickname. "Now what were you going to say Alec?"

"Oh, um well... I was wondering ifIcouldgetyourphonenumber?" Alec said too quickly for Magnus to hear. 

"What was that darling?" Magnus sat on his bed. "Hurry up love, this portal doesn't stay open by itself."

"Oh by the Angel I'm sorry" Alec said under his voice, looking down at the floor. "I was just asking for your phone number. It was nothing important" Alec raised his head to look at his boyfriend. 

"Nonsense!" Magnus stood, clapping his hands together, "Here, give me your phone and I'll call myself, then we'll have each other's numbers."

When he was done and Alec had his phone back, Alec turned to go home. 

"Are you forgetting something?" He heard Magnus say behind him and Alec turned around. He was puzzled for a second before his mind caught up to what Magnus was implying. 

Realizing what he was missing, Alec strode over to where Magnus was sitting on his bed. He leaned down and reached behind Magnus' neck and captured his lips in a short kiss. Well, it was supposed to be short however after a moment, Alec also sat on the bed and a second after, Magnus' mouth found itself roaming Alec's neck, leaving trails of red marks behind. Alec lost his breath and pulled away. He didn't want things happening too quickly.

"Sorry I forgot Mags..." Alec blushed a fine shade of scarlet. "I'm still pretty new to everything and um... I really... Uh i don't know what I'm doing but I'll try my best."

"Take your time, Alexander." Magnus checked the clock. It was almost half past seven in the morning. "But not now darling, as much as I don't want to see you go, I'm afraid you should." 

He conjured up two coffees and a few pastries from the shop down the street and passed one off to Alec. Before he could condemn his boyfriend's actions, Magnus replied. " Don't worry dear, I didn't steal them, I paid them with a good tip. Someone will simply have to wait slightly longer for their order that's all. Now go, we wouldn't want things to look suspicious would we?" 

When Alec stepped through the portal, he looked back to see Magnus snap his fingers. His torn shirt re-appeared in Magnus' hands and with a wave of magic, the shirt was suddenly repaired. Alec figured it had all been a ploy for him to have to wear Magnus' clothes from the beginning, not that he was complaining- he thought he'd have to invest in a few pieces of expensive fashionable clothing as he had discovered that they not only looked better than he had once thought but were also the most comfortable things he had ever worn. He'd have to consult Magnus to help him. Izzy would also be a good resource. He'd talk to them about it later however there was one thing he wouldn't let happen and that was a shopping trip. Shopping trips lasted for hours with Izzy and he didn't know how long it would take with both Magnus and Izzy shopping together. 

He found himself two blocks away from the institute. It was late July but the air was cold as it was only early in the morning. He had his jacket folded over his arm and his breakfast in his hands. His white sweater contrasted with the deflect rune and hickeys on his neck and his dark brown hair was tousled too badly to blame it on the wind. He decided he'd have to keep his head down; he couldn't be noticed. 

The moment he walked into the doors of the institute, Alec could tell people were staring at him. He could tell his colleagues were staring at him. He could tell that Izzy's eyes were following him. He kept his head down and swiftly made his way past the training room where his parabatai Jace and his sister Clary were training. The tension was high and Alec decided to ignore them and keep walking towards the staircase to where his room was. 

He turned a corner onto the hallway his room stood and saw a shadow from the corner of his eye. He knew realistically, who or whatever was there was most likely not a threat but his shadowhunter instincts kicked in and he pulled out a seraph blade from his thigh holster. 

Instead of a threat, Isabelle walked out from behind the corner smirking. 

"We told you all you had to do was talk to him." Izzy said smugly, walking closer to her brother and checking out Magnus' handiwork. "He did well" She mused, "How was it?" 

"How was what?" Alec asked, clueless as to what Izzy was suspecting.

"Magnus, silly. How was he?"

"Uh. He was Magnus- I meant magic... He was magical." Alec managed to splutter out, his face flushing as he realized what he just said. 

"Magical huh?" Izzy laughed. 

"No! I don't mean it like that!" Alec almost yelled, trying defend his past statement. 

Jace heard the commotion and walked into the hallway and stopped behind Izzy. 

"Dude! Congrats Brother, you finally got some huh?" Jace said with a lopsided grin. Alec scowled. A few seconds later Clary caught up with them. 

"Alec... What are you wearing? Oh my god. Who is the guy? Is it Magnus? I've heard rumors but i wasn't sure..." She turned to Izzy. " Was it Magnus?" Izzy nodded. 

Alec didn't want the attention he was getting. He'd rather crawl into a hole than be center of attention yet there he was under the spotlight. 

"Stop." Alec said. It wasn't a yell. It wasn't quiet. It was a command. "First you two," He pointed at Izzy and Jace, "Make me confront Magnus about our own problems, which I'm lucky to have had a good result with, and now you try to get me to admit things that didn't even happen? Can't you respect my decisions? What if I don't what to talk about these thing huh? Even if something did happen, I wouldn't go bragging about it to anybody who would listen! I don't ask you about your lives do I? No. So back off." 

Alec turned away from his siblings and Clary. He had to appreciate that the had indeed been the reason why him and Magnus were together but they kept prying and asking and getting under his skin. He walked to his room. Izzy caught up with him. 

"Alec. I'm sorry. I- it's just new to see you like this. I didn't realize..." She apologized. 

"It's alright" Alec sighed. He opened his door and sat on his bed, keeping the door open to let Izzy follow him in. 

"Big brother, mom and dad were asking for you..." Izzy paused to look at Alec. His jaw clenched. "I told them you were on a run. Don't worry they didn't see you when you walked in- by the way, the sweater you're wearing is at least $400... How did Magnus manage to let you wear it? Does he know how clumsy you are?"

"Oh. Um, I ripped my shirt this morning..." Izzy raised her eyebrow. "Ah, um nothing like that... I just tripped on it when I got out of bed. We just shared a bed... That's all." Alec rambled. 

"I believe you Alec." She sighed, sitting next to he brother on his uncomfortable mattress. "Now, if you don't remember, you have a meeting in, hmm i believe half an hour so lets get you cleaned up." She stood, chose him a shirt and dragged Alec to her room down the hall. 

"Cleaned up?" He questioned. 

Seating him in her make-up chair she answered. "Yes. Cleaned up. Although your hair looks amazing, it's not suitable for a board meeting Alec. Plus, I have to cover up those hickeys don't I?" She laughed. 

Startled, Alec looked into the mirror and there, like Izzy said were at least three crimson marks along his neck. He forgot they were even there. 

"Shit. I-I didn't kn-" He was cut off by Izzy laughing. 

"Don't worry big brother, I happen to be an amazing make-up artist who has a lot of experience hiding this particular problem." She winked. Alec didn't want to hear a backstory. 

When Isabelle was done applying the make-up and Alec had his plain shirt on, he was presentable again. They sat in a peaceful silence. Alec still had a few minutes before his meeting and sat wondering about his own life. How quick he'd been drawn to Magnus. How quick it felt to not be wanted. How easy it was to talk to him. He had told him he was falling in love with him, yet he didn't know what love felt like.

"Izzy?" 

She replied with a hum. 

"What does it feel like to be in love?"

She took a minute to reply. 

"It's scary. Not bad scary but sort of, I don't know, you don't know what's going to happen next. You feel like your entire being might explode and you can't think of life without them. You think of your life and they're there with you. You get happy to see or even hear from the other person and you feel like you're drowning but also flying. Even the thought of them makes your heart beat just a little bit faster." 

"How do you know it's love though?"

"Alec. That's for you to discover. I can't tell you because- well because I'm not you. You have to find that out for yourself." Izzy stood and put a hand on her brother's shoulder before she walked to the door. 

"Izzy. Do you think it's love?" Alec asked seriously.

"Do you trust me?" She asked. 

"Of course." 

"Go to Magnus after this meeting and ask him that question, I'm positive you'll get your answer" She smiled and walked from the room. 

Alec sat frozen for a second before he too stood and searched for his bow and quiver. He realized he'd left Magnus' apartment without it. An excuse to see him again. He was going to follow up on Izzy's answer, he was going to ask him. He just didn't know why. 

Magnus was immortal. 

The idea still fazed Alec. 'How could someone so old really love somebody with all their heart?' He thought to himself as he walked to his meeting; he didn't mean to disrespect Magnus' age yet he still wondered if Magnus would be able to actually love him. He knew Magnus had loved before and pondered on if Magnus still loved the mortal people who had died in the past while he had lived on. He wasn't sure, he'd have to ask him. Soon. Because if he didn't Alec's anxiety would eat him from the inside out and leave him with doubts. Doubts that would distance them from one another and that was something Alec didn't want to happen. 

Because he was falling in love. And fast. 

As he sat through his mandatory boring meeting he thought of how Magnus had looked that morning. Normally Alec would've payed attention to the meeting but the image of Magnus in his head made his heart race and he couldn't help but smile at the memory.

"Is this what love is like?" He thought. 

There wasn't a definite answer but he began to think that maybe for once in his life, things would be okay. Magnus would be okay. He was okay. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey pals, this was just a lil filler chapter as shit goes down in the next chapters  
> plus a couple new characters are introduced and i thought I'd give y'all some sweetness  
> before things go bitter for a while  
> i hope you guys like it and I'll be back sometime this week with a new chapter x  
> as always if you want, send me feedback in the comments  
> or validation in the form of kudos  
> i hope you're all good x


	9. Sir, can you help me?

Magnus spent his day wearing Alec's T-shirt. It was horribly sentimental but Magnus didn't care. Today his only client was his friend and casual annoyance, Raphael Santiago, leader of the New York vampire Clan. 

As it was daytime and Raphael wouldn’t be able to get to his loft so Magnus had to be the one that traveled for the meeting. If it was anyone but Raphael, he would've told them to wait for the night to ask for his expertise however Raphael was an exception, an old friend and Magnus would help him at any time of day.

The hotel DuMort brought back many memories that Magnus didn't wish to remember. Memories of a broken heart, memories of the past. Memories of Camille. 

He threw the thought of the woman from his head. It had been a few decades since they saw one another and over a century since they were together and he decided he wouldn't let her ruin his life any further. He’d decided that when he redesigned his apartment. He was at the hotel DuMort for a reason and knew that it was something important as Raphael had asked him to come as early as he could. So he did.

He ascended up the stairs of the magnificent building, vampires looked at him, judged him through their sunken, dead eyes. He was lead into his friend's office by a shy male vampire. Magnus believed his name was something along the lines of samuel or sonye, He didn't remember and honestly didn't care.

The office was dim. There were no windows nor any natural light. An industrial-like light hung over a desk with a chair behind it. An additional two chairs stood in front, most likely for one-on-one confrontation. Within moments, Raphael was in the same room, leaning against the furthest wall, checking the cufflinks on his suit sleeves. 

Raphael looked young. He was turned to a vampire at a young age and never grew older, just like Magnus didn't age. He wore a fully black suit and Magnus couldn’t help but see a resemblance between him and Alec, even if it was only small; he’d never admit that to Raphael. Or Alec. He kept the epiphany to himself.

“You’ve certainly let yourself go Magnus.” Raphael noted as he walked to his desk, checking out Magnus’ plain black shirt. He sniffed the air for a second before he looked at Magnus directly in the eyes. “Shadowhunter blood Magnus? What have you gotten yourself into this time?” He scoffed, pinching the bridge of his nose. 

“None of your business my friend...” He cleared his throat. “What can I do for the night children this fine morning Raphael?” Magnus asked when Raphael sat behind his desk, his voice dripping with irony as, of course, Raphael couldn’t tell if it was a fine morning or not. He was a vampire. He couldn’t go outside to see if it was nice out. 

“Ah well…” Raphael trailed off and looked away from Magnus. “It’s nothing material per se. We just need information…”

Magnus knew what, or rather who his friend was talking about straight away. He, well the vampires more likely needed information about a person. More specifically, a woman. 

Camille. 

He knew she’d bite him in the ass, even a century later. 

“What has she done this time?” Magnus said reluctantly, letting out a sigh of frustration. He didn’t want to deal with her ever again, he thought he didn’t have to deal with her again. He stood corrected. 

“Magnus,  mi amigo,  where would she hide if she wanted you to be the only one to find her?” Raphael asked slowly as if to ask Magnus if it was okay to breach the subject of Camille. Magnus just nodded absently. He took a while to reply. 

“Camille has had several different tactics to lure me back over the years and I’ve been able to ward them off. You want me to give that up and give in? You want me to find her? Leave her alone Raphael. She can do things alone for all I care.” Magnus stood abruptly. He hadn’t wanted to leave as quickly as he now wanted to but he preferred to not be surrounded by so many people that reminded him of Camille. He didn’t want to deal with her. 

Magnus didn’t make it to the door before he heard his friend’s voice asking him to reconsider. 

“Magnus… She’s doing it again…” Raphael trailed off. 

The last time Magnus heard Raphael say that phrase was when Camille had done something unforgivable. It was the late 70s when it first happened. Raphael had walked into the hotel during a particularly warm summer night to smell not only the usual smell of blood but also the smell of drained bodies. He wasn’t the only one who noticed and he quickly found himself in a hallway swarming with other vampires. 

At the time, Camille was leader of the clan and Raphael was merely just another vampire that followed her rule. Raphael, unlike any other vampire, questioned his leader’s command. Now that he smelled bodies from somewhere at the end of the hallway in which he stood, he persisted to see what she had done.

He pushed his way through what seemed like dozens of fellow vampires and forced himself to push down the door to Camille’s room. He stood frozen. 

Camille lay on a blood red loveseat that matched her crimson soaked hands which were wrapped around the torso of the last live body in the room, a child. Around her lay the bodies of 17 other unfortunate children. Raphael recognised a few of the faces; they were children of New York, the homeless kids that roamed the streets after dark. She held the child’s neck up to her throat as he flailed helplessly, his arms and legs bound and his mouth covered in tape. Camille looked like was enjoying the pain she was inflicting on the small boy. 

Before she harmed the boy, Raphael put his speed to use and snatched the child away. Although he knew how addictive the blood of a child was, he knew the ethical thing to do. Raphael wasn’t a monster, although he had made a few mistakes in his life. Mistakes he wasn’t proud of. Sometimes he thought of himself as a monster. Magnus assured him he wasn’t.

He made sure the child was safe before confronting Camille who was still high on the blood of young children. 

“Camille! You can’t keep doing this!” He yelled at her. She just laughed and let her head roll back, blood dripping down her chin and neck. “I’m serious, it’s getting suspicious. They’re children. Children, Camille, don’t you have any moral constructs?” He accused. 

Camille stood unsteadily, her step was off as she walked towards Raphael. She tripped over a child’s arm. “My dear Raphael, they’re homeless, nobody will miss them. They were better off gone. I just put them to good use instead of having them rot on the streets.” She pat Raphael’s cheek with a bloodied hand. “Give the blood a try. It’s delicious! Take the boy, he’s yours. Go.” She ordered. Resisting the urge to swipe a finger and taste the blood, he took out a handkerchief and wiped it away. 

He left the room and took the child with him. He untied him and asked for his name. He said it was Christopher. Raphael saw that the kid was in shock. He’d just witnessed the murder of 17 other people his age. He knew he had to talk to Magnus about her, though he dreaded to but he had to get the boy help. Eventually, Magnus did wipe the child’s memories. They didn’t stop Camille. She promised she’d stop. 

Apparently she didn’t. Over 3 decades later, Raphael was asking for Magnus’ help. Again. As soon as Magnus heard the phrase “She’s doing it again.” He knew it was a repeat. He knew she was after the children. He knew he had to intervene. 

Magnus sat back down and Raphael took the seat next to him. He thought of the many places that Camille took up residence in, a place that only he knew. He stupidly realized why he’d subconsciously moved his apartment to the upper east side. Camille’s apartment was around the same area. He knew life just wanted him to suffer at this point. 

“She has an apartment a couple blocks from my loft…” Magnus admitted. Raphael let down his tough demeanor for a split second and shot Magnus a look of concern, Magnus shook it off easily. “I can go talk to her if you need me to.” He finished. 

Raphael sympathetically looked at his friend. “You know I wouldn’t ask it of you if it wasn’t necessary Magnus.” Raphael reluctantly told him. He realised it was a much worse problem than what happened in the 70s. So he agreed. 

“Thank you Raphael… I’ll pay her a visit tonight.” 

Raphael stared for a second before he stood. “Magnus, you could give us the address if you don’t want to…” He was trying to give Magnus a way out- he knew how much Camille had destroyed him, despite not being there to witness it first hand. 

“It’s something I don’t particularly want to do but it’s something I should do.” He said. 

“Be safe.” Raphael replies, smiling slightly. It was a sad smile but a smile nonetheless. Magnus curtly nodded before also standing and shaking his friend’s hand.

Raphael got his second in command, Samuel to again, escort Magnus from the office. He wondered if he’d seen the boy before but decided it was just a coincidence. He’d met plenty of vampires in his life and to Magnus, they all looked pretty similar. 

He decided he’d take the mundane way home so he could think about his meeting with Camille. He’d need to prepare for any outcome. He’d have to rebuild his heart.

 

* * *

 

Alec’s meeting was shorter than the average meetings he was used to. He walked back to his room and checked how well the make-up on his neck was holding up. To his surprise, it was still all perfectly intact. He now had a list on what he had to thank Izzy for. 

He wasn’t on call and only had paperwork to finish, however a shadowhunter wasn’t ever off duty and if he was needed, he’d go off on a mission. The likeliness of that happening was low though. For some reason, demon activity in New York had gotten to an all time low. Alec suspected it was something to do with Valentine. They were so close to capturing him. He could feel it. 

Deciding he’d put his expensive clothing to use, he changed back into the sweater Magnus had let him borrow and let the softness envelope him. It smelled like Magnus. It immediately calmed Alec. 

He walked through various hallways to his office and got a few strange looks; it was probably because Alec never wore any colour other than black and now wore a bright white sweater with the word bitch printed on it. Luckily his parents were busy back in Idris for the day and he had his office to himself. He sat and set out the work he had to do; he’d visit Magnus that night when he was done. 

When Alec did finish the urgent paperwork he’d had to do, he head out for Magnus’ place. He still wore the sweater but he also wore his year underneath. If he did run into any demons, he’d have to take it off in order to not get it ruined.

The new route to his boyfriend’s loft was longer as Magnus now lived significantly further than before as apparently he had moved location in the time when they weren’t talking. He hoped it wasn’t because of him. 

He walked out onto the street from the subway station closest to where Magnus lived. It was an average day. He’d not been in danger of dying at all which was oddly comforting for Alec; facing death everyday wasn’t as enjoyable as he had thought when he was a kid. 

To the outside eye, Alec looked like a regular person. You couldn’t see any of his runes; the hood hiding his neck and he passed as a mundane. He looked like a rich person. A fashionable person. He fit into the upper east side nicely,  his Magnus’ sweater ensured that he did. 

Maybe because he was excited to see his boyfriend or because he was anxious to ask Magnus the question that wouldn’t leave his head, Alec didn’t notice the shadow following him down the street. A shadow following a shadowhunter. It was ironic. 

The shadow kept to itself. Alec didn’t notice so it had enough. The owner of the shadow ran towards Alec. The shadow was a woman. Her heels hit the sidewalk with a click on each step.

“Sir!” She shouted. “Sir, can you help me?” She cried. Alec turned around in immediate response. 

The woman was of asian heritage and petite. She was also short compared to Alec; maybe 5’3. She wore a velvet red off the shoulder dress and her face was covered in ruined make-up. Mascara smudged around her eyes and down her cheeks and she was crying, mumbling incoherent words.

“What’s wrong ma’am?” Alec said automatically. He felt weird calling the woman ‘ma’am’ but went along with it as she had been the one to call him ‘Sir’. 

The woman caught her breath and hiccuped before she started to cry again. “M-my children, they fell d-down a flight o-of of stairs and they won’t wake u-up.” 

Alec decided Magnus would have to wait. He wasn’t a hero. He wasn’t a mundane police officer but he knew the basics of CPR and asked for her to lead the way to her kids. He’d try to help and if he couldn’t he’d let the mundane world deal with it. 

The woman kept crying all the way back to her apartment. Alec found it familiar. He didn’t remember why. He felt like he was having deja vu often. His days sometimes blended together. She opened the door for Alec and continued to cry until they reached a door. 

“I-I foster k-kids and they thought it w-would be a good idea t-to slide down the s-stairs in laundry baskets.” She sobbed as she put her key in the door. 

Alec felt for the woman. He didn’t know how it felt to not know of the well being of your child but he imagined it was terrible. 

“It will be okay ma’am.” Alec reassured her. “If I can’t be of assistance, may I ask, what’s your name? Only for if I have to call the police.”

The woman opened the door and stepped in. 

“O-oh of course” She said, her tears ceasing to flow from her eyes. Alec walked into the room and stopped in his place. Strew the ornate were bodies of at least 30 children. Alec dreaded that there weren’t any more in the other rooms. They were pale- almost translucent and their eyes held no sign of life. Being in a war had witnessed deaths and knew the look well. He looked at her in anger. He’d been played.

“For the ‘police’ records” She mocked, “My name is Camille Belcourt and I could smell your blood from half a mile away.” Camille smirked, wiping away her make-up and tears from her face. “It seems you’ve been hanging around my property?” She questioned innocently, checking her nails for any impurities. Alec was enraged and confused. His property? Camille seemed to sense his confusion. “Magnus Bane? That’s his sweater, silly. My property.” She laughed in a false and sickly sweet way, as she made her way over to him.

Her smile and her laugh were the last things Alec remembered before he was hit across the head, his agility weak compared to that of a vampire. He fell to the carpet with a thump and Camille crouched down and pat his cheek. 

“My dear, he’ll never love you. Not really. Not the way he loved me.” She whispered in his ear; she knew he wouldn’t have heard the words she said but she made the point in saying them anyway.

 

* * *

 

Magnus was one of the only people who knew where Camille’s apartment was. He had to retrieve a book from there once, of course without her being there, yet he knew that she had realized he had taken it. 

Hours after he’d left the hotel DuMort, Magnus rounded the corner to the building that she lived in. He contemplated climbing the fire escape but remembered his pants wouldn’t withstand much physical exertion and decided he’d let himself into the building. He dreaded the rest of the night and wished he could have it any other way but he knew he had to end whatever Camille was doing. His emotional troubles could step aside to save countless children from dying. 

He wouldn’t be conventional. He wouldn’t knock on her door, he’d let himself in, own the element of surprise. He got to her door and raised his hand to unlock the door with magic. It was already unlocked. Magnus felt uneasy. He normally didn’t feel uneasy, normally he could draw power in a situation but with Camille, he couldn’t play his cards like that. 

He opened the unlocked door to the sight of children laid around the room, deceased and drained of blood. He saw that not only they were mundane but some were even warlocks. Camille had broken the accords before but this struck Magnus hard. 

The noise of a kettle whistling broke his staring of the corpses and he looked over to the kitchen. Camille stood, wearing a white sweater with the word ‘bitch’ printed on it in black. On her, it was a dress that fell to her knees. She was making tea and gestured for Magnus to sit on the only sofa without a body on it. He obliged. 

“Camille.” Magnus said sternly, not letting any emotion weave its way through his words. 

“Magnus” She said back, joining him in her living room. He gives him a cup of tea. 

“Wherever did you get that sweater Camille?” He asked. His head was swimming with an answer he hoped wasn’t the answer. He held his tea but didn’t drink from it, Camille could've slipped something into it.

“Oh this old thing?” She laughed lightly. It was unsettling. “I got it from our dear friend Alexander didn’t I?” She gestured into the kitchen where Alec lay unconscious on the tile floor. 

“He’s such a sweetheart isn’t he? But with this war going on, he’ll die soon.” She continues,  plainly stating her opinions. “Shame. He is pretty. But he doesn’t compare to me, Magnus. I know you’d come back for me in the end.” 

Camille took a sip of her tea and sighed in content, he wondered how he could've ever be in love with such a bitch.  His sweater suited her well. Not the style but the fact the word BITCH was spelled out for people to read. A warning of sorts. The hem of the sweater was stained with splatters of blood and Magnus' thoughts shifted from thinking about Camille to his boyfriend. He only hoped that the blood on the sweater didn't belong to Alec. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> stuff is happening, the momentum is picking up  
> i hope you all liked this chapter  
> i started writing this fic exactly a month ago today and i'm extremely happy about how far its come and the reception its gotten so thank you!  
> i hope you're all well  
> and if you want, leave me a kudos  
> and give me feedback in the comments x


	10. What Happens Next?

Alec woke with his head thudding and his sight blurred. His cheek was numbed and cold against the tiled floor of Camille’s kitchen. He didn’t know where he was when he woke, however over a matter of time, the facts came back to him. Camille Belcourt had hit him over the head with a paperweight. His eyes burned and his reaction time was slow. Alec heard muffled voices from behind him and reached for his seraph blade; his bow and quiver were still at Magnus’. His holster wasn’t on his thigh. He realized Camille must have taken precautions. 

 

He was only wearing his shadowhunter gear, the expensive high end shirt Magnus had let him borrow was gone and was probably in the hands of Camille. He spotted his seraph blade a few feet away from him and decided he’d try to retrieve it. He felt useless. He couldn’t win a fight against a vampire. He felt was a lesser shadowhunter because of it. He wouldn’t be like Jace or his sister, he’d never be able to live up to them. He’d have to settle into the shadows again. 

 

“Alec Lightwood is no challenge for me, Magnus, you still love me! I could promise you I’d be with you forever, he can’t give you that.” Alec heard from the other room. He realized two things. One was that Magnus was either there to save him or to deal with the bodies of the children. And the second was that Camille was one of Magnus’ ex girlfriends. They had once been together and probably missed what they had together. 

 

She was a vampire, a downworlder like him. She was also immortal. Maybe that’s why Magnus loved her? Maybe that’s why Magnus was so closed off; it was because he didn’t want his heart broken.

 

“Camille, I haven’t loved you for a long time. I won’t make that mistake again. You wouldn’t make that promise; two years was too long for you, don’t even speak about a forever with me.” He heard Magnus’ muffled voice from the other side of the wall. His voice was cold and disconnected- Alec had never heard this side of him before

 

The kitchen door was half open; If Camille looked over to the kitchen, she’d realize Alec was no longer unconscious. That meant Alec would have to be extremely quiet. He stood shakily, losing his balance as his headache grew worse; he hesitated as he caught his footing. He looked through the gap in the door and saw them. 

 

Camille wore  his  Magnus’ sweater. The word ‘BITCH’ drew attention to her petite figure. She wore it well, he could see why Magnus was once attracted to her. Magnus sat opposite to her with his hands clasped together as if he was in deep concentration. Alec could see his boyfriend’s reserve slowly breaking. He looked around at the children. Some of them were human, some of them were downworlder. The scene was devastating and not one Alec would want anyone to witness, it almost made him physically sick just seeing the pale faces of children who could’ve had a future. It was his job as a shadowhunter to protect mundanes and downworlders but he was so caught up in the war that he didn’t notice children had gone missing from the streets of the city. 

 

“Fuck it.” He thought. Magnus was there to protect him if he needed but he had to do his job. He picked up his seraph blade and stumbled through the kitchen door, drawing the attention of Magnus and Camille. Magnus looked relieved that Alec wasn’t severely hurt but Camille on the other hand pursed her lips and scowled.

 

“How nice for you to join us Alexander, we were just talking about you! Isn’t that right Magnus dear?” Her frown turned to a menacing smile. He wondered how Magnus had fallen in love with such a manipulative bitch. He remembered that Magnus was notorious for being a stubborn and mean warlock in the past but Alec couldn’t believe a word of what people said. He didn’t believe that Magnus had once been like Camille. He was too vulnerable and caring. He was too kind.

 

Magnus sat staring at Camille. His eyes bore into her’s and his arms gripped the arm of the sofa he sat on, most likely to stop himself from attacking Camille straight away. 

 

Camille stood and offered her seat to Alec. Alec hesitantly took it and sunk into the cushion. It was pleasant but he didn’t let himself relax. Camille sat close- too close to Magnus and placed a hand on Magnus’ arm. Magnus tensed slightly at the touch. Alec was used to jealousy but this was crossing the line. She smiled as if she had eaten a sour grape, it was distorted and fabricated. Alec was jealous of her intimacy with his boyfriend but Camille, Camille on the other hand was jealous that Magnus had chosen him instead of her.

 

“Magnus, Darling, tell the boy what happened to your parents hmm? Or maybe tell him about your father! Oh and if you really want to frighten him! Show him your eyes Maggie!” She practically cheered. Making fun of a powerful man like Magnus was a mistake though as when Camille spoke the word ‘Maggie’, he stood and threw of her hand. 

 

Blue flecks of magic were escaping his fingertips and he closed his eyes, breathing slowly.  His hands clenched into fists instantaneously. Camille made eye contact with Alec.

 

“He’s quite easy to wind up, y’know” she laughed, “It used to be a little game I played with him when we were together although he couldn’t react badly towards me…” Magnus turned away, his fingernails most likely making moon-shaped imprints on his palms. “He loved me too much to hurt me. Didn’t you Maggie?” She taunted. 

 

She wasn’t scared of Magnus. He didn’t hurt her. Alec wondered, deep down, if Magnus still had a scrap of love for the woman. No. He hated her, he didn’t want to start a war within the downworlders, especially while the war against Valentine was still ongoing.

 

Alec had enough. “You think it’s funny to treat a man like he’s a fucking toy Camille?” He raised his voice, “It’s clear he doesn’t want you in his life-” he grabbed at the sweater and despite her attempt to fight back, Camille fell to the floor with a thump, “-so stop being a bitch and know he’ll never love you again. Oh and stop calling him Maggie, it’s clear he hates it.” 

 

“You know, you’re just telling yourself that right? I know he’ll always come back to me. He has before, he will again” Camille smirked to herself. Magnus however turned back around and extended his hand. His magic bound Camille from getting up from the floor.

 

“Camille, I advise you to stop talking if you want to keep your tongue” Magnus warned, his eyes flickering between his glamour and his cat eyes.

 

“There they are! The eyes, Alec look! The cat’s come out to play!” She threw her head back in laughter. 

 

For some reason, Alec felt like he was breaching a part of Magnus that he shouldn’t be seeing yet stared at his boyfriend’s eyes. They were still partly glamoured and he only saw his cat eyes for a split second. Camille had said said they’d frighten him away but no, Alec found them alluring. They were stunning with a hint of elegance. They were as beautiful as the man who possessed them. 

 

Alec lunged towards Camille and hit her across the cheek with the back of his hand. He leaned down to whisper in her ear, “You’re never... You’re never going to say those things to Magnus ever again. Do you understand?” Camille just smiled. 

 

“You don’t get to hurt innocent people, innocent children Camille! I can’t let you.” 

 

He reached behind him for his seraph blade that stuck out uncomfortably in his back pocket, the blade’s runes lit up as his hand touched the hilt. His face had an indignant expression drawn upon it. He held his weapon centimeters away from Camille’s heart. 

 

At that moment, Alec’s shadowhunter training was pushed to the side, all he felt was pure rage. He felt as if he was possessed and trapped within his own body, peering from the inside out. He didn’t know what made him lose control. He was used to worse taunting. Alec forgot about the accords and would’ve happily killed her if Magnus hadn’t stepped in.

 

“Alec! Alexander, stop!” Magnus shouted, grabbing Alec’s shoulders, pulling him back to stop him from stabbing Camille through the heart, “We need her alive so she can testify to the clave, If you kill her, these children will mean almost nothing to them. They’ll blame it on the war. If you kill her, you’ll be breaking the accords.” He conjured a cage around his ex-lover and brought Alec away; he was breathing heavily and shaking.

 

* * *

 

Jace felt his parabatai rune searing with extreme conflicting emotions of anger and sadness. He was used to Alec’s usual sad and frustrated mood but this was different, he’d never felt his brother feel so distraught. The sudden emotions burned Jace; he knew that when he felt that way, Alec was always there for him and now that Alec felt the same way, he most likely needed his help. He wondered if it was something to do with Magnus. It was late and he didn’t know where his brother was so he enlisted the aid of his sister, Izzy. They’d thrown Alec into having to talk with Magnus in the first place; if it was their fault for his pain, they’d never forgive themselves. 

 

He found Izzy with his Clary catching up on late night training. It was easier to train when the OPs room wasn’t loud and busy. They were practicing with their staffs when Jace walked in. 

 

“Izzy, we gotta go!” Jace bellowed in a warning tone. Izzy’s snake staff reverted back to her bracelet and she wrapped it around her wrist.

 

“Where to this time brother?” She asked, smiling, gesturing Clary to stand down. She walked over to a bench where her jacket lay and slipped it on. 

 

“It’s about Alec…” Jace said slowly.

 

Isabelle’s smile faltered and looked to Jace in concern and shared a glance. Clary, not a part of their ‘moment’, interrupted their silent conversation. 

 

“What about Alec?” Clary asked and Jace sighed. 

 

“Izzy and I- well, you’ve heard the rumours about the warlock Magnus Bane and Alec?” Clary blushed slightly and nodded. “Uh well they’re slightly true and Izzy and I pushed them together and I think it was the wrong choice and I can’t find him anywhere…” 

 

“The wrong choice?” Izzy asked in concern. Jace merely nodded. He cleared his voice before he spoke.

 

“I felt something through my parabatai rune and it wasn’t good, Iz. It hurt more than usual. Something’s wrong. Really wrong...” Jace ran a hand through his hair and Izzy glanced at the floor guiltily. Clary however put her staff away and placed a hand on Izzy’s shoulder.

 

“We should find him then” Clary walked past them to the OPs room where a few shadowhunters were still on duty. Jace and Izzy followed her. 

 

“Clary, only Jace and I are responsible for this, not you.” Izzy said as Clary started tracking Alec on one of the institute’s monitors. 

 

“Alec’s probably out there, somewhere, angry and confused and he needs you, he needs us and I know he doesn’t like me but if you’re saying he needs help then I’ll be damned if I don’t at least try. Here, he’s at… Magnus’s apartment…” Clary trailed off. 

 

“Why would he be with Magnus if…” Izzy stopped herself mid sentence. “Jace maybe you were wrong?”

 

“Iz, he was in so much pain, so much anger, it burned through my skin. Even if he’s with Magnus, he needs us.”

 

“Okay, okay, it’ll be okay. Let’s go to him.” Clary picked up her seraph blade and shrugged on her jacket. The three of them left the institute and into the summer night. 

 

* * *

 

Alec still hadn’t calmed down. Magnus had sent Camille’s unconscious body in the cage he had conjured to Alicante with a fire message explaining what had happened and where to find the bodies of the children. The clave would deal with her. For now, he had to deal with Alec who was shivering. He made a portal back to his loft and nudged Alec through it softly. 

 

“It’s okay, Alec.” Magnus made him sit in his armchair. Alec’s shivering stopped after a moment.

 

“It’s not okay, Magnus! What she did to all of those children? That wasn’t okay. What she did to you? That wasn’t okay either!” Alec sid in a piercing voice. He was catching his breath when Magnus put  hand on his knee. 

 

“I’m not saying that was okay. That will never be okay, but you, right now? You’re okay. You’re safe Alexander. She’s gone.” Magnus’ voice was soothing despite him being the target of shouting  only a few seconds before.

 

“I-I’m sorry Mags. I- She took me by surprise. I should’ve stopped her. S-She took your sweater and it’s probably ruined now…” Alec gazed at the floor, his head bowed down.

 

“None of this is your fault Alec” Magnus sighed and kissed Alec’s forehead. “I don’t care about the sweater. I care about you and the children. It’s happened before. A few decades before you were born. She’s good at hiding it from anyone. It doesn’t make you less of a shadowhunter for not realizing it, you’re in the middle of a war Alexander and it’s understandable why you-”

 

“Magnus, I could’ve done it. I would’ve broken the accords if you hadn’t stopped me. Izzy or Jace wouldn’t have lost control like that. If I couldn’t handle that, what happens next? What if I can’t fight in the war. It makes me a worse shadowhunter, Magnus, there’s no argument.” Alec sighed and stood up. “I should get going.”

 

“Alexander-”

 

“Thanks Mags, I’ll, uh, see you... soon. I guess” There was no humor or awkwardness behind his voice. He was just tired and sad. Magnus frowned.

 

“Alec. What I felt for Camille, it’s ancient history. It was a long time ago and she broke me. I’d never be with her Alexander, not ever. I have you.”

 

“But that’s the problem Magnus, It doesn’t bother me that you dated her, what bothers me is that it was ‘ancient’ history.” Alec slumped back down into the armchair. “I-I don’t want to be another name on the list of your life’s accomplishments. I’ll be gone one day and you’ll be left alone again and I know it makes me selfish as hell but I want to love you, Magnus, I want to but I… I’m scared. I’m scared you won’t give me your heart because you’re afraid you’ll get hurt. Or because you’ll have to live on after me. You can give me your heart Magnus and I’ll take it to the grave but please let me in. I can give you my forever, just give me the chance.”

 

Alec wasn’t used to showing so much emotion, let alone speaking his emotions out loud. Magnus wrapped his arms around his boyfriend in comfort and Alec hid his face in Magnus’ shoulder.

 

“Alexander, I could die at any time during this war. Although I’m immortal, it doesn’t make me invincible. I can give you time, your lifetime, not forever, but I hope it will be enough.”

 

Magnus took Alec’s hand and they sat on his couch in silence. A good silence. Alec rested his head on Magnus’ chest and breathed heavily as Magnus weaved a hand through Alec’s hair. He had calmed down significantly and listened to Magnus’ heartbeat; the heartbeats of warlocks were slower than those who were mortal. It relaxed him. 

 

After a while, Alec leaned off of his boyfriend’s shoulder and looked at him. It was a small gesture. Alec was contemplating asking him a question when Magnus kissed him. It was almost too soft; in the sense that it made Alec almost fall apart and possibly cry. It was gentle and kind and warm and made him sink back into Magnus’ embrace. 

 

They stayed there for some time, Alec able to be with Magnus instead of fighting a war. A war in which he didn’t start. One that his parents had started before he was born and had failed to end. Their silence was broken by an intruding knock on the door.

 

“Magnus Bane, I swear to the angel, if you don’t let us in, I’ll make sure the institute never hires you again!” Izzy yelled and banged on the door. Magnus clicked his fingers and the door opened. Jace, Clary and Isabelle stumbled into the room.

 

“What is it this time? Because I’d rather you not interrupt my time with Alexander hm?” Magnus said and Alec’s face blushed deeply. 

 

Jace, Izzy and Clary stopped. “Do you mean you  _ didn’t _ break up with Alec?” Jace asked quizzically and Magnus shook his head no. 

 

“Wherever did you get that impression Jack? Your brother and I are doing fine” Magnus laughed and winked. 

 

“His name’s Jace, Mags.” Alec laughed into Magnus’ shoulder. Izzy’s concerned facade melted into one of love and mischief. Clary smiled fondly at the two of them. 

 

“Alec, brother, what’s wrong? What happened?” Jace asked, his famous cocky demeanor was nowhere to be found as he checked if he parabatai was alright.

 

“It’s nothing, don’t worry.” Alec said, not meeting his brother’s eyes when he spoke. Jace looked towards Magnus for an answer.

 

“Alexander found the ex- leader of the New York vampire clan, Camille Belcourt, surrounded by the bodies of at least 35 blood-drained children earlier today. She’s in Idris now but if your brother hadn’t found her, she’d probably still be taking children from the streets. He deserves to rest.” 

 

Alec stared at his siblings, then to Clary and then back to Magnus. He wondered why, out of all people, Clary Fray would care about his wellbeing. He pushed aside the question to be contemplated later. He smiled up at Magnus and kissed the corner of his mouth before falling asleep, not caring that his siblings stood in the same room. 

 

If they were willing to defend him over a breakup and willing to back him up in a fight, the least he could do was trust them with his relationship. They deserved that much. 

  
He decided he’d deal with his parents in the morning. He’d tell them in the morning. He’d tell Lydia in the morning. He’d tell the institute soon. He’d tell the clave last. Magnus, Jace, Izzy and Clary would be at his side when he did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey there pals i hope you're having a good day  
> here's chapter 10 for you all, I hope you like it x  
> as always if you'd like, come say hi in the comments  
> \+ leave me a kudos if you want   
> see y'all next chapter when more stuff goes wrong   
> it'll probably be within the next 5 days so look out !


	11. Already?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Alec has feelings, Magnus is a good boyfriend and a big realization is discovered

Alec hadn’t realized that he was in Magnus’ bed when he woke up. After the events that had taken place the night before, he decided for once in his life, he’d take things slow and with caution; exactly the opposite of the shadowhunter lifestyle that he had learned to live with. He looked at the small clock that Magnus kept off to the side of his bed. It was merely 9 am. Alec internally sighed, he was late waking up, he wasn’t starting the day off well. 

He was hoping he’d tell his parents about his and Magnus’ relationship that day but he knew that if the day started badly, he’d end up making it worse. He couldn’t keep pushing it back though, he’d have to tell them eventually. They were back from Idris that day and he had no clue how long they’d be staying and he was hoping to tell them as soon as possible. He’d have to tell them properly, even if they’d get even more angry with him. 

They  _ technically _ did already know. Alec had told them Magnus was his boyfriend however at the time, he was lying. It was an excuse, a thing he said to rile them up, to make them know he wasn’t taking their bullshit anymore. And at the time, yes, it was a lie but it had grown to be true. He didn’t want to bring it up in conversation but he knew it was the best thing to do, he’d have to confront them, tell them the truth. He had to do it honestly; not for the clave’s sake, not for his parents, not for Magnus, but for himself. He needed to be able to be himself. He had to realize it was  _ okay _ to be himself. Just over month had passed since he first met Magnus and although a nagging voice at the back of Alec’s head still tried to convince him that being a gay shadowhunter was a sin, although his parents kept telling him he was a freak, a disappointment to their family and not their child, Alec remembered what the Branwells had said. He remembered what Magnus told him. He’d be himself, accept himself, let Magnus love him. Let his parents know that Magnus loved him. To hell with his parents; he had created a new family.

He thought back to the day before. He met Camille. She stole his- Magnus’ sweater. She killed children and they scattered her floor in a cold blanket of bodies. He felt sick to his stomach again, just as he had when he stood there in the entrance to her apartment. He pictured the bloodied cushions and the bite marks in their small necks and remembered the horrible smile Camille wore as he realized that he was tricked by a vampire. He was stupid, he was careless. He was too kind for his own good. 

Alec decided the day would be a bad day anyway so it didn't really matter if it started badly at all. He slipped out of bed while Magnus slept in a curled ball, the bed sheets cocooning him in warmth, making him not realize that Alec had just left the bed. Alec was still wearing the same outfit he had worn the day before, having fallen straight to sleep after bidding his siblings goodnight. He made himself and Magnus a cup of coffee and french toast; he normally did this after staying over for the night, although it’s only happened once or twice. It’s a courtesy he took upon himself recently to show his thanks to Magnus in his own small way. He hoped it wasn’t too bold.

Alec was sliding their french toast onto plates when he heard Magnus shuffling around in their bedroom. He stopped and took a second to contemplate the thoughts that had just rapidly run through his head.

 

_ Their Bedroom. _

 

Alec’s breath caught. Since when did he think of it being their bedroom and not only Magnus’ ? He noticed that didn’t know the answer, that he found his memory had blended together and he couldn’t pinpoint when he’d started calling it ‘theirs’. How long would it be until he started calling the loft ‘Home’? He was getting attached. He was clingy and it scared him, everything was happening so quickly but also not quickly enough. Alec wanted things, but was terrified. It was almost too much.

He remembered when he woke up and saw Magnus cocooned into the covers, his calm face void of makeup. It was beautiful. He was beautiful. Of course, Alec knew Magnus was beautiful from the beginning, from the first time he’d seen him that night in the loft; it wasn’t hard to be drawn to him. His presence made him feel warm but sometimes it also made him feel small. Magnus was always so pretty and Alec, well, he considered himself average at best when he was alone. Magnus was attractive and smart, witty and funny, powerful and kind; he was so much better. Alec didn’t know why such an amazing man would settle for him. Next to Magnus, he often felt like nothing. He was used to it though, having grown up with Izzy and Jace. Alec, of course, didn’t mind. To him, Magnus deserved love, he deserved beauty, he deserved better. He deserved someone better. 

Alec shook his head. He had woken up in an odd mood. Despite waking up late, he’d woken up with Magnus in their bedroom. Magnus was his boyfriend, he cared about him. Alec was lucky to have him. He was just making a big fuss over nothing.

 

_ Their Bedroom. _

 

He had to stop calling it ‘Theirs’. Alec feared he was falling too quickly; he wasn’t used to relationships at all. He’d been set up with a few girls in the past, thanks to Jace, but of course it was before he realized he was gay. Half of the girls he stood up and the other dates hadn’t ended well. Alec knew it wasn’t bad to be gay, over the past weeks he’d slowly learned that much. The problem was that he didn’t feel he was enough for Magnus. 

How could he be enough for the High Warlock of Brooklyn? How could he call it ‘their bedroom’? How could he say any of these things if Magnus hadn’t even said that he loved him? Alec wasn’t sure what love truly was but he believed he was on the right path, he knew that probably soon, he’d love Magnus just as much as he loved his siblings. If Magnus said he loved him first, Alec probably would say it back to him. He needed to know that Magnus loved him before he said it though. He didn’t want to make a fool of himself, besides, Alec didn’t know what love  _ really _ was. He supposed he’d find out.

He carried the french toast to  their Magnus’ room, Magnus was now splayed across the bed with the covers beneath him; he had made the bed and lay downwards with his face buried into a pillow. Alec walked in with their breakfast and Magnus rolled over until he faced up at the ceiling.

 

“Darling, you don’t have to keep doing this.” Magnus said, his mouth quirking into a small smile as he sat up and took a plate from his boyfriend. 

 

Alec shrugged and tried to convincingly smile back. “I like doing it, Mags.” A blush creeped up on his neck slightly but Alec was still distracted by the thoughts he’d had while making their breakfasts. Magnus, being over 400 years old, easily saw through his facade of fake smiles and small blushes. 

 

“Alexander, is everything alright?” Magnus asked, pondering on what had made Alec’s change in mood become so different. “Are you okay, because if Camille did anything to you…” He trailed off, his eyes held a fire of hatred towards Camille but also showed concern for Alec.

 

Alec’s head snapped up. “Oh, um, she didn’t… It’s ok, it’s nothing… I just, uh, forgot our coffees in the kitchen, I’ll be right back.” Alec turned around and stood quickly, almost tripping on Magnus’ carpet as he rushed out the room. Once he got into the hallway, he started breathing heavily. 

 

He was familiar with panic attacks, although he’d obviously never had one with someone he’d been in a relationship with. Izzy and Jace were the only people who had ever seen him while having one. 

He gasped for air as he messily stumbled into Magnus’ kitchen. He knocked one of the coffees over, the mug smashing as the now-tepid drink flooded over the counter and onto the ground. Not caring, Alec slid down onto the cold, tile floor. His mind raced thoughts behind his eyes, rapidly enough to make him feel nauseous. He thought that Magnus would find him disgusting for freaking out in his house. Magnus wouldn’t want to be in a relationship with someone who couldn’t control their emotions.

A tear fell from the corner of his eye and in seconds, Alec was silently crying on Magnus’ kitchen floor. The stress of his parents, the clave, trying to be good enough for Magnus and the children. The unfortunate children lying dead thanks to Camille. It all came crashing down at once and it suffocated him. He couldn’t deal with it. Normally, he was able to push it under the surface; the feelings would still torment him but he could pretend they weren’t there. His problems would be repressed. He’d fake happiness, make people proud, not be a problem, not be a mistake or a burden. He’d be a soldier, a brother, a friend, a lover. Whatever he needed to be, whoever people wanted him to be.

 

But it was too much. 

 

‘Max could’ve been one of those children’ Alec thought and he let out an audible sob. His body felt numb but he shook as if he was trapped in a meat freezer. He held his legs by his chest and his arms wrapped around his knees. The children were almost all around Max’s age and even the thought of it possibly being his little brother made him want to be sick. Those kids could have had families and people who cared about them but the were dead. And he couldn’t stop her. He should’ve been able to stop Camille. 

Alec heard footsteps get closer and stop next to him. He looked through his blurred teary eyes and saw Magnus kneeling beside him. With a wave of his hand, Magnus cleared up the broken mug and spilled coffee.

 

“Do I have permission to touch you Alec?” Magnus asked softly. Alec nodded, not trusting himself to say anything as he still shook and fought to breathe. Magnus placed a hand in Alec’s hair as he sat next to him, stroking his tousled hair away from his eyes and raked it back. He let Alec’s head rest on his shoulder as his eyes slid shut. 

 

“I-I’m sorry Magnus, I n-never wanted you t-to see me like this. I’m sorry, I-I’m a mess. I… I understand i-if you want me to g-go” Alec said between hiccups, his body was shivering as he was still somewhat in a panicked state. He tried to stand up but failed and slumped against Magnus again.

 

Magnus kept running his hand through his boyfriend’s hair, his other hand wrapped around Alec’s waist, hugging him towards his body. 

 

“Shh, shh, darling it’s ok, it’s okay. I’m here, it’ll be okay.” Magnus whispered. 

 

“Is it?” Alec whispered back shakily. 

 

Magnus nodded. “You work so hard Alec but you need to give yourself a break. After all you’ve gone through this week, please. Give yourself a rest, so much stress will give you wrinkles. Take at least the day off?” Magnus asked. They stayed like that for a while. Alec had stopped shaking but was still breathing heavily however he could now talk in longer sentences.

 

“Magnus, I have a job to do. I can’t let everyone down… I can’t. I’m not allowed to just… not go to work.” Alec stood slowly, Magnus following him as he continued to hold his boyfriend’s waist.

 

“Alexander? Have you  _ ever _ had a day off?” He asked, letting his hand stroke the side of Alec’s cheek. 

 

“Shadowhunters never get days of Mags, you know that.” Alec sighed, “But yes. Once I overworked myself and somehow got the mundane flu. I told my mom Izzy gave me food poisoning.” Alec smiled at the memory and leaned on the kitchen counter.

 

“Okay. We don’t want you getting sick again, Alec, you’re the head of the institute, you can give yourself a day off. I know for a fact your sister, Isabelle, gets days off. Things won’t fall apart if you’re gone for one day, probably even three. You can’t keep ignoring your problems”

 

Alec knew Magnus was right. Magnus was almost always right. He pushed himself from the counter and wandered to the front door, picking up his shoes as he went. 

 

“I’ll be back.” Alec said smiling slightly, still heavy from his spontaneous panic attack. He wasn’t a confident man in general but his mood was lighter. He undoubtedly still felt substantially small and unimportant but he promised himself he’d tell them and he was damn sure he was going to do it. 

 

“Alexander where are you going?” Magnus said as he strode into the entrance hall. He walked towards Alec and fixed his messy hair. “Promise me you’re not going back to the institute.” He said, raising his eyebrow and Alec scowled.

 

“I am...Only for a little while but I just have to do something and I’ll be right back okay?” Alec said, shrugging on his jacket. He was  _ still _ wearing the clothes from the day before. The ones that made him look oddly mundane. He’d get odd looks from his collegues at the institute. He wondered how his parents would take it. 

 

“ Don’t do any work okay Darling?” Magnus said, holding Alec in front of him by the biceps. He leaned forward and gave his boyfriend a quick kiss.

 

“I promise you I wont. I’ll be back soon. Go eat your french toast and I’ll return with real coffee.” Alec replied. 

 

“I knew there was a reason I kept you around.” Alec chuckled, kissing Magnus back before hearing a commotion from his boyfriend's kitchen. Chairman Meow had somehow smashed a plate.

 

“Mags, I gotta go and you should tend to the chairman, I think he’s jealous that I steal you from him all the time” Alec genuinely smiled as he spoke. “ I lov-...” Alec stopped himself. He couldn’t say it. He didn’t want to admit it first. “I’ll, uh, see you soon.”

 

He practically dashed from the loft. He’d ruined a perfectly good moment. He hoped Magnus hadn’t heard him. He tried to shake the thought from his head but he couldn’t. 

Did he love Magnus? Already?

He decided after he was done with talking to his parents, he’d go to talk to Izzy again.

The way she had described it before was exactly how he felt now. It wasn’t as scary as he expected it to be. It was in fact safe and happy. If this was what love was, Alec didn’t mind it at all.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey pals, i'm back!  
> i'm sorry i had life get in the way and i have exams this week!  
> but i'm over a bump in my life and it's summer  
> which means possibly updates for both my fics every week?  
> anyway, i hope you liked this lil chapter and i hope y'all a well  
> come say hi in the comments if you want, plus kudos are cool if you want to validate me ?
> 
> I'll see you guys next week hopefully! x


	12. Do You Love Him?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the Alec receives some good news, Alec makes an announcement and Izzy helps her brother

Alec rode the subway with his hands tapping away at his thighs impatiently; the anxiety of what he was about to do slowly chipped away at him, his heart beating quickly in his chest as he got closer to the institute. Minutes passed and the rush of morning commuters entering and exiting his train contributed to his now-growing headache; he couldn’t help but think of the consequences he’d face after telling his parents about Magnus for the second time. His head felt worse than when Camille had hit him with her paperweight - the past few days had been wild and disorderly and Alec hadn’t had any time to recuperate and reflect on what had happened. Having a day off was something he really needed.

 

He had borrowed yet another one of Magnus’ shirts before heading out that morning, the soft fabric kept him together in his musings. It was a green button-up that Alec had seen Magnus wear once or twice. Magnus’ clothes provided a sort of calming effect for him, especially if he was the person wearing them. He almost missed his stop as he was still deep in thought when the train door slid open. He rushed out the exit and up to the street, a couple blocks away from the institute. He walked in silence towards the abandoned church he called home. Alec made his way up the stone steps but paused at the entrance. If he was going to do this, he was going to do it right. He took a deep breath before opening the door.

 

The institute hadn’t seen his presence in a day and for a shadowhunter, being missing for so long without contact aroused large concern, especially if they were from an important family such as the Lightwoods. Luckily for Alec, he’d seen Jace, Izzy and Clary the night before so that worry wasn’t his problem. His problem was how he was going to tell them- his parents. The problem was how his parents would react to him being away from his job for over a day. He couldn’t just tell them ‘Hey mom and dad, I neglected my shadowhunter duties yesterday to hang out with my male warlock boyfriend. Oh and also we caught Camille Belcourt for you. toodles!’ Alec laughed at the scenario in his head and entered the institute.

 

He walked down the entrance hallway like he always did; head down, shoulders hunched inwards and body somewhat towards the wall, making sure he drew the least amount of attention to himself as possible. He walked into the OPs room where Maryse, Robert, Izzy and the Branwells stood around a table and were engaged in what seemed to be a heated argument- about what? Alec had no idea.

 

The room was in a flurry of action, most likely because of the Camille ordeal and the breaking of the accords. He knew things would somehow involve him sooner than later and he dreaded having to be questioned by the clave yet he was relieved that Camille was off the streets and away from innocent children. He tried to walk through the room unnoticed, which for a man his height seemed impossible. Fortunately, he had mastered the art of being undetected; after years of hiding and escaping the spotlight, he knew his way around the institute without drawing attention to himself. However, despite several years of learning and applying his skills, Izzy always somehow saw through them and knew when he was trying to avoid people. In fact, Alec had only made it halfway through the room when he heard his sister calling after him.

 

“Alec! Alec, why are you back already? Magnus called saying you were taking the day off and that I’d have to kick you out if you showed up. What are you doing here?” She shouted from the table she was stood at, real surprise apparent in her voice.

 

Izzy looked unusually cheery, especially since she was just arguing with her parents only seconds before. Alec dragged himself over to his sister and her company, who had stopped their quarrel when Alec’s name was mentioned.

 

“I just have to uh, pick something up and say something to mom and dad...” Alec said quietly to his sister, not wanting his parents to hear. He was thoroughly nervous and was sure that it was fairly obvious and that he was letting it show.

 

Izzy rested a hand on her brother’s arm before she drew him into a short hug. She smiled genuinely towards him and let go of Alec.

 

“You’ll be fine big brother. Now go and get it over with and get back to Magnus before he suspects you’re working.” She said, pushing Alec towards their parents and their guests.

 

The Branwells looked towards him kindly and extended their hands for a handshake. Alec’s parents, however, scowled at him and turned away from their son after a second’s glance. Lydia simply smiled politely at Alec as he shook her parents hands. Her mother took Alec off to the side for a moment to avoid the presence of Maryse and Robert for a second.

“Pleasure to actually meet you Alec” Mrs. Branwell laughed softly “I’m sorry we didn’t have a proper introduction but after what happened last time...” she said, glancing back at Maryse and Robert before nodding towards her husband. Mr Branwell walked towards them and nudged Alec even further away from the table his parents and his sister stood at. “You know, times _have_ changed Alec. You don’t need to listen to them, Maryse and Robert. The clave, we, well we don’t have a problem with it but overall? _they_ will not like it. But there’s nothing they can really do to you, no law states you can’t love a man. There’s really no law that stops you from being with Magnus Bane either. You deserve to be happy and that’s why we hope you’ll accept what we’re about to give you.” He told Alec. He placed a hand on Alec’s shoulder and squeezed it before he and his wife turned around and walked back to join Alec’s family again.

 

Alec stared at the two clave members with wide eyes. He hadn’t expected their acceptance, let alone their support yet he had it. He walked towards the table in which everyone was gathered around. He wondered what Mr Branwell had meant by ‘accept what we’re about to give you’. What would he be given.

 

The table they surrounded held only one thing. A keyring holding well over 100 keys was set on the dark wood counter. They were familiar to Alec; he’d seen them hanging up somewhere before but he couldn’t remember where. He knew one thing though; they were important. The keys were well worn but Alec could tell that they once were a mixture a brilliant silver, bronze and copper keys. Mr Branwell picked them up and held them out  towards Alec. Hesitant, Alec slowly extended his hand to take them from the older man.

“What is this?” Maryse remarked in disgust, “You can’t just give him the master keys without my permission” She said through gritted teeth.

 

“I won’t let a child like _him_ run the institute any longer.” Robert steadily said, his voice alarmingly powerful but also unfazed. “You can not seriously think giving him complete control is a sane idea do you?”

 

Mr Branwell plainly dropped the keys in Alec’s hand and turned towards a desperate and distressed Maryse and a shocked and pale Robert.

 

“I’m afraid it’s not your call, Robert, neither is it yours, Maryse. Alec is most fit for the job, besides, he’s been running the institute without you for some time now and is, I am afraid, better at the job than the both of you.”

 

Maryse looked at her son who held the keys to the institute in his hand and wondered where she had gone wrong. Alec on the other hand was utterly confused and more anxious than when he had stepped into the institute not even ten minutes before. He had just been handed the job he’d worked his whole life towards, the job he dreamed to have. He grasped the keys in his hand and heard the clinking of the metal, confirming that he really was the Head of the New York Institute. Izzy stood off to the side beaming at her older brother as Maryse and Robert glared furiously towards their eldest child.

 

“Alexander Lightwood, you are, as of now, the head of this shadowhunter institute.” Mr Branwell clapped Alec on the back. “I believe we have an announcement to make.” He smiled and took his wife’s arm, leading her towards a nearby monitor.

 

Twenty minutes later, the room was filled with every shadowhunter in the institute that was not busy on a mission or patrols. Mr & Mrs Branwell stood at the top of the stairs while Alec stood at the bottom. His parents lingered at the back of the crowd of shadowhunters, still fuming with outrage as they watched Alec be announced as the new head.

 

“I’m pleased to announce that Alec Lightwood is now officially the head of the New York Institute!” Mr Branwell proclaimed.

 

The present shadowhunters, although unsurprised that Alec took over his parent’s job, clapped and smiled for him. Jace, Izzy, Clary and Lydia stood a few feet away from him as he was ceremonially given the keys for the second time that day.

 

When the short announcement was over, Izzy ran up to hug her brother, followed by a proud Jace. Clary and Lydia stood by smiling. Alec broke away from his brother and sent a questioning glance over to his sister and raised his eyebrows. In return she lead her eyes up to the Branwells who still stood at the top of the stairs. Before the crowd completely dispersed, Alec ran up the steps to where Mr & Mrs Branwell still were. He nodded towards them as if to indicate he had something to say. Mr Branwell took the hint and called after the retreating shadowhunters.

 

“It appears Alec has something to say to you all so if you could stay for a moment more...” He spoke warmly, his professional demeanor somewhat absent. He and his wife walked down to join the reassembling crowd.

 

Alec was not used to this kind of spotlight. He had the institute watching, waiting for him to speak and it terrified him. He repeated the words he thought to himself when he first walked into the institute that morning.

 

_If he was going to do this, he was going to do it right._

 

Originally, it meant that he was going to tell his parents the truth but now he felt it had a different purpose.

 

“Hi…” Alec awkwardly acknowledged the crowd before him, “I feel like, uh, I should say something… I- not a lot of you know me. Some of you might see me around from time to time but I normally keep to myself so uh…” Alec trailed off. He was rambling and panicking and he glanced over to his sister again. She wore a fond expression and nodded for him to keep going.

 

“I suppose I should get straight to the point.” He said quietly, looking towards the ground. He lifted his head and took a deep breath. Scanning the crowd, he found his parents loitering at the back of the mass of shadowhunters. He closed in on them and started talking.

“What I meant to say is that not a lot of you really know me and because of that, I’d like to introduce myself properly. I don’t want to feel superior to all of you, despite my title. You all have uh, your own jobs and responsibilities that are as important as mine, alright?” He asked.

 

The shadowhunters in front of him nodded and smiled, giving Alec the confidence to continue to speak.

 

“Alright. Well, um, I’m Alec Lightwood and as you all know I’m the new head of the Institute...” He paused for a second as Clary, Lydia and his siblings clapped loudly and he blushed slightly in embarrassment. “I, uh, I know this is not the most conventional thing to do but I’d like to make an announcement... As a few of you are aware, an incident involving the warlock Magnus Bane occurred a while back. I’d just like to state for the record that-”

Alec took a deep breath and looked towards his parents again. Their combined glares burned into his skin as he opened his mouth to finish his sentence.

“-I’m Gay and Magnus Bane, the High Warlock of Brooklyn is my boyfriend.” He let the words sink in for a second. His parents turned their backs from Alec and walked away. “I know some of you will have a problem with this but I hope it doesn’t effect your service to the institute and that we can still work together on a professional level. My personal life is none of your business and I’d like it to stay that way. Thank you, you’re all dismissed.”

 

Alec’s small speech had earned him clapping from the majority of the shadowhunters that listened to him. It appeared that the younger generation of shadowhunters weren’t as prejudiced as the older and more prominent members of the shadowhunter community.

He descended the steps and joined his siblings and friends who stood proud and gratified. Alec didn’t know what he did to deserve such supportive friends but he was extremely lucky to have them. His chosen family. Izzy launched herself at her brother, her petite frame almost toppling Alec’s tall stance.

“I’m so proud of you Alec!” She said, laughing happily and Alec smiled joyfully down at his sister.

Next, to his surprise came a hug from Clary. She comforted him with her hug and although they often didn’t see eye to eye, he appreciated that she cared. Then came the second hug from Jace that day.

“That was hell of an ‘unconventional thing to do” Alec. But it was awesome. You should’ve seen people’s faces!” Jace exaggerated excitedly.

“I think he’s well aware of what their faces looked like Jace, he was literally standing up in front of them all” Izzy laughed.

Jace rolled his eyes at his sister and turned his attention back to Alec. “So what now brother? The famous Magnus Bane is your boyfriend! Do you love him? Have you told him?’” He questioned and Alec froze.

Did he love him? That’s what he was meaning to ask Izzy about after he told his parents about their relationship. Now that it was official, he decided he’d ask to talk her again as soon as possible.

“I, uh, I-I don’t know…” Alec stuttered slightly. “I was wondering if I could just talk to Izzy again? Alone?”

“Fine but you better tell us about him later. You’re too tall to fit in a closet and you’ve been cramped in one for too long, it was was about time you came out.” Jace smiled smugly before turning to talk to Clary.  

 

Izzy took her brother’s arm and lead him away from Jace and down the hallway towards her bedroom. Inside, Alec settled on the end of her bed while Izzy sat cross legged in the centre. She casually leaned her head on her palms before she spoke.

“What seems to be bothering you this time big bro?” She asked. She wasn’t judging him for anything or making a joke over him wanting to talk. Alec silently thanked her.

“I, uh, I.” Alec swallowed and looked his sister in the eyes. “I think I’m in love Iz. Like really in love.” He said quietly in almost a whisper.

Izzy’s face lit up and her grin became contagious as the corners of Alec’s lips also turned up when he said the words.

“So why are you telling me, my dear, repressed brother?” She poked at his arm playfully, “Go tell him yourself Alec, I’m sure he’d love to hear it.”

“I-I’m just not sure y’know.” Alec sighed and let his shoulders fall. “I think I love him but I. I don’t know”

“Does your heart beat faster when you see him?” Izzy asked and Alec nodded. “Does your breath catch when you see him?” He nodded again. “Could you imagine a life with him Alec? Could you see yourself spending the rest of your days with him?” Once more, Alec shook his head yes.

“Big Brother, it’s fairly obvious that you love him and I think you already know it. So go and tell him, _idiota_ , he deserves to know.”

Izzy pushed Alec off her bed and walked him to her door. “Now move your ass and get back to Magnus. You’ve already spent too much time here and I promised him I’d kick you out.”

Alec opened the door and was about to leave when he turned back to hug his sister.

“Thanks Iz.” He exhaled deeply.

“Anytime.” She smiled.

 

Alec left Izzy room, intent on picking up some things from his room when Izzy popped her head out from her doorframe. He was halfway down the hallway when she shouted his name.

“And Alec!” She shouted. Alec’s head spun around at her words.

“Don’t forget to use protection!” She smirked and closed her door.

“Shut up!” Alec shouted towards her now-shut door, his face heating up at his sister’s implication.

“Love you too, big brother!” He heard Izzy’s muffled voice from behind the door.

 

He could sense she was laughing and although anyone could have heard their conversation and although it embarrassed the hell out of him, his sister was happy and that was what was important.

While in his room, Alec packed a pair of clothes, pajamas and a toothbrush, his face still flushed from his sister’s farewell message. However he couldn’t be annoyed at her; Izzy had helped him realize one of the most important things he needed to realize.

 

He, Alec Lightwood, head of the New York Institute, was in love with Magnus Bane, High Warlock of Brooklyn and he couldn’t be happier with his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey pals  
> i hope you are all well and that you enjoyed the new chapter  
> i'll be back again next week with a cute chapter i think you will all like  
> as always come say hi in the comments if you'd like  
> \+ kudos validate me and inspire me to write  
> see y'all soon x


	13. Are You With Magnus?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Magnus isn't home, brunch is served and communication is key.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy 4th of july for everyone in america! this chapter is for you!

Alec carried his bag over one shoulder. It was late morning and he suspected his sister had called Magnus to inform him that he, was in fact, heading back to Magnus' place. After a short subway trip and walk to his boyfriend’s loft, he let himself into the building and felt the familiar feeling of Magnus’ wards surround him as he neared the door. He stopped and thought of the events of the morning before he collected himself and turned the door handle, exhaling deeply when he stepped inside.

His heart was beating heavily and his breaths were drawn out. Alec hadn’t ever thought he’d get so worked up over something he once thought was trivial but was now such an important part of his life. Alec was going to tell him how he felt.

He entered the apartment and set his small bag on a side table in the entrance hallway, beside the door, before he set out to find Magnus. Alec had only left a couple of hours before and doubted that Magnus would’ve left his loft without telling him beforehand, however he couldn’t find his boyfriend anywhere.

 

“Magnus?” Alec called out hesitantly. When he got no reply, his hand wrapped around the hilt of his seraph blade secured in his thigh holster. “Magnus?!” He called out for a second time, this time more careful and cautiously. He still didn’t get an answer. Alec’s thoughts ran to the worst possible outcome of the situation as he turned the corner of his boyfriend’s entrance hallway and into the livingroom.

 

His thoughts were disrupted when the whistling of a kettle went off in the kitchen. Surveying the space, Alec turned it off and continued his search for Magnus; he was aware that Magnus was capable of taking care of himself but it didn’t mean Alec couldn’t still worry. He wandered the loft slowly, seraph blade in hand as he searched for any sign of a struggle however he came up with none. Instead, he was met with an irritated Chairman Meow waiting by his food bowl in the kitchen. Alec put his seraph blade away in it’s holster and kneeled and pet the cat’s head softly.

 

“Chairman, do you know where Magnus is?” Alec asked softly to his boyfriend’s cat. The Chairman simply cooed and pushed his head against Alec’s palm. He nudged Alec to the fridge where a note was pinned to the door.

 

_Alexander,_

_I assume Isabelle didn’t kick you out like I suggested so by the time you get back, I’ll probably still be out getting breakfast. Make yourself at home, darling, I won’t be long. Also could you feed The Chairman for me? I didn’t get the chance after cleaning up the spilled coffee earlier._

_See you soon,_

_Magnus x_

 

Alec sighed in relief and picked up the chairman’s water bowl, filling it and setting it down before he searched for the cat food. After searching for a minute or two, he found it in a cabinet and laid out the food for Magnus’ pet. Chairman Meow meowed in satisfaction as he happily ate his food. Alec picked up the bag he left at the doorway and let himself into Magnus’ bedroom.

He wasn’t sure if he was allowed in his boyfriend’s bedroom when he wasn’t home but the note he left said ‘make yourself at home’ so he figured he’d take his chances and leave his bag somewhere in the room. Alec had brought a book to read from the institute but was stopped from reading it when he passed by Magnus’ bookshelf; it was filled with literature that spanned from textbook-like scriptures to first edition collections. He placed his own book back in his bag and picked up a book he thought he’d enjoy.

It wasn’t so much a book, It was, in fact, a photo album. Alec flipped through the pages, stopping every once in awhile to admire his boyfriend’s face. Magnus stood with his two friends, Ragnor Fell and Catarina Loss, although Alec knew nothing of either of them and only really paid attention to Magnus. The photos were dated as having been taken at the turn of the 20th century. It seemed that Magnus and his friends had been in attendance at a new year’s party in London on December 31st, 1899.

Alec frowned slightly. He had to remember that Magnus was hundreds of years old and the photos he held were taken 89 years before he was born. It was hard to remember his boyfriend was immortal sometimes because Magnus looked so… so young. It was times like these when the proof that stared him right in the face made him realize that Magnus once had a life without him and that Magnus would live without him again in the future.

 

The problem with dating an immortal man.

 

He shut the photo album almost aggressively, the book making a loud clap as the two sides slammed together. It shook Alec from his trance-like state of negativity for a moment and he placed the book back onto Magnus’ bookshelf. He was surprised when he scanned the bookshelf for a second time and found an old copy of _The Shadowhunter’s Codex_. It had a tattered cover but the book was intact. Alec opened the cover and found that the edition had once belonged to Will Herondale; his brother, Jace’s ancestor.

Jace had recently found out he was the lost Herondale child and not a Morgenstern which had caused a lot of drama in the institute as he was no longer Clary’s sister and could therefore date her again. However at the same time, Clary was dating one of the night children which complicated things tenfold. The commotion was a bit too much for Alec and instead he spent as much time as possible with Magnus or buried in his work.

After a third quick scan of the bookshelf, Alec picked up one more book- a book about warlock’s marks. Alec often wondered what Magnus’ was but he didn’t know if it was okay to ask to see them so he simply didn’t. He had been curious about them recently as Camille had brought them up when Magnus had gotten agitated just a couple nights before. He had only seen Magnus’ eyes for a split second and wanted to know more but didn’t dare to approach the subject with him.

He brought both books into the living room and set the Codex down on the coffee table as he opened _A Beginner’s Guide to Warlock’s Marks_ and sat on the same couch he had sat on the first time he had visited Magnus all those weeks ago.

Alec was about ten pages into the book when he heard the front door opening. He looked up to see Magnus walking in with a bag in his hand. He smiled as he saw Alec sitting on his sofa and brought the food over to the coffee table. He glanced down at his copy of _The Shadowhunter’s Codex_ and smiled back up at Alec.

 

“Promise me you didn’t do any work?” Magnus smirked at his boyfriend as he sat next to Alec and kissed him quickly in greeting. Alec blushed slightly and shyly smiled back and shrugged.

 

“If you count officially getting promoted at the institute as ‘work’ then yeah… I did.” Alec blushed even deeper and looked down at his hands which were fumbling on his thighs.

 

Magnus laughed and brought Alec in for a hug, although as Alec was unprepared and as Magnus sat next to him, Alec simply leaned into the hug and let Magnus embrace him.

 

“I’ve always known you’d be a better leader than your parents Alexander,” Magnus said fondly. “Now I understand why Isabelle was so energetic on the phone earlier. She did say you had something important to tell me and I’m so proud of you Alec.” He beamed.

 

“Uh… yeah.” Alec awkwardly laughed and smiled at Magnus, not knowing how to approach the subject he wished he could confess to the man he loved.

 

Magnus looked at Alec with so much love in his eyes. He let go of his boyfriend and conjured a plate for them each before unpacking their breakfast.

 

“Mags, couldn’t you just, y’know, magic this stuff up? You didn’t have to go out of your way and get this for me. ” Alec stared at Magnus in disbelief that the wonderful man sitting next to him had chosen him. That the man next to him had let Alec love him.

 

Magnus turned towards Alec and mimicked what Alec had done earlier that morning. He shrugged slightly and smiled. “I like doing it, Alexander.”

 

“You could’ve just heated the food I made for you Magnus.” Alec pouted, dejection partly evident as he’d spent time making the breakfast, “There was nothing wrong with it.”

 

“About that.” Magnus placed a hand over Alec’s, which were still restlessly tapping away at his thighs, “When I heard the coffee cup smash this morning, I knocked it over getting out of bed. I’m sorry Alec.” He said, kissing Alec’s cheek softly.

 

They ate in a comfortable silence. Magnus had brought pastries, muffins and strawberries for what turned out to be an early lunch by the time they had finished their meal. Alec had offered to help clean up though Magnus wouldn’t let him and instead asked to take care of it alone. Alec accepted defeat after Magnus left him with a particularly convincing kiss and decided he’d take his books onto his boyfriend’s balcony.

Magnus’ balcony was one of the places that calmed Alec the most and Alec had only a select few places that could relax him. In fact he had 5 and two of them were in Magnus’ loft. The balcony was high enough that he didn’t have to worry about hearing the noise of pedestrians below but not too high that it made it impossible to see who was walking on the street below. Alec lounged on one of the outdoor sofas Magnus had on his patio and engrossed himself into the book of Warlock’s marks and history; _The Shadowhunter’s Codex_ sat barely untouched on a side table as Alec eagerly read the warlock book. He hadn’t heard Magnus walk onto the balcony to join him but alternatively heard his boyfriend’s gasp when he had gotten close enough to see which book he was reading and looked up in concern. Magnus shook off his surprise and cleared his throat.

 

“Why are you reading such an _ancient_ book, Darling? Surely I have more interesting books to read.” He weakly smiled and picked up the Codex, offering it to Alec. Alec took it from him and placed it back on the side table.

 

“This ‘ _ancient book’_ seems to be helping me learn about you and on the contrary, I don’t find it boring at all. In fact, it’s one of the most interesting books I’ve read in a long time” Alec grinned and set the book down.

 

Magnus stared at Alec for a moment in awe before he looked down and clenched his fist. He walked towards the balcony railing and stared out at the city without a word. Alec stood and joined Magnus; it was just past midday and the sun was high in the sky beaming down on the both of them.

 

“Magnus, what’s wrong?” Alec’s cheery voice now switched to one of concern. Magnus plainly sighed and turned to Alec who wore a look of slight worry on his face. He unclenched his hands and placed them on the concrete railing of his balcony that stopped him from falling to the ground.

 

“I… Nobody’s ever wanted to learn about me, Alexander…” Magnus trailed off and closed his eyes tightly. “Nobody has ever really cared.”

 

Alec placed his hands on his boyfriend’s shoulders and looked at Magnus who still had his eyes shut - Alec knew that Magnus’ warlock’s mark were his cat eyes. “Why would I be reading it if I didn’t want to know, Mags?” He asked softly. Magnus shrugged.

 

“I really don’t know, Alec. Why do you want to learn about me?” Magnus’ tone became less vulnerable and more repulsive. “I’m not some sort of odious experiment you get to observe, Alexander.” He almost spat, whispering more viciously. His eyes were still squeezed shut and it was obvious to Alec, by the state of the flickers of Magic emitting from Magnus’ hands, that his boyfriend was clearly not alright.

 

He took a step back from Magnus but stayed close enough to help him if he needed to. “Magnus, I-I wanted to learn about you because I… Well I didn’t want to ask you about it. I thought it’d be insulting or rude if I asked you.” Alec admitted and walked towards Magnus who had visibly calmed with his words.

 

“I wanted to show you Alec… But every time I have in the past, it’s never been good. The countless times I’ve been left because of them, been called disgusting. I can’t let you leave me because of them too.” Magnus sighed and Alec held him against his chest in a half-hug.

 

“I promise I won’t leave you, Mags.” Alec breathed into his boyfriend's hair, “You don’t have to show you if you don’t want to.”

 

“But that’s the problem, Alexander…” He groaned in frustration; his eyes were still shut tightly. “I want to show you, I, just. People have said that before and they’ve left me.”

 

“Magnus, you seem not to realize that your cat eyes are stunning.” Alec spoke, emphasizing the word ‘stunning’. Magnus gasped inaudibly but still didn’t open his eyes.

 

“How did you know?” He whispered and stopped himself. “The clave’s official documents…” His posture slumped away from Alec.

 

“What! No, Mags, it was Camille remember? I only saw them for a split second but they were… beautiful…” Alec exhaled and looked towards Magnus. “You don’t have to show me, but I can promise you that I won’t leave you if you do.”

 

Magnus dropped his head and finally opened his eyes and when he looked up at Alec, his glamour melted away and his true cat eyes shone with emotion. Alec stood in shock as he stared back at Magnus in admiration. He didn’t think the man could get more beautiful yet he had proved him wrong again. He stood staring and Magnus felt like he was being observed from every angle. It made him feel vulnerable and small. Alec wasn’t saying anything and he was just staring. Magnus wondered if he had scared the younger man into shock. He blinked and his glamour was back over his eyes.

 

“I-I’m sorry if you found them disgusting. I-I understand if you want to leave…” Magnus said and turned away from Alec. Instead of leaving, Alec took hold of Magnus’ shoulders for the second time that day and turned him around.

 

“How would I find anything about you disgusting Magnus? Have you seen yourself?” Alec chuckled slightly but looked at Magnus with real warmth in his eyes. “How stupid would I be if I let a man like you get away from me mhm?”

 

Magnus clenched his jaw before looking at Alec with glamoured eyes, almost overflowing with unshed tears. “You’re just saying that, Alec. You can tell me if you don’t like them, it’s happened before.”

Alec stared at the man before him with wide eyes. The beautiful man who had convinced him to follow his heart and not shut his feelings out. The forgiving man who gave him a second chance. The amazing man who made his heart beat faster. The man whose beauty made Alec breathless. That same man was moments from tears and believed that Alec wanted nothing to do with him. Alec took a deep breath and faced the man who he risked his life, career and status for.

 

“Magnus, I love you.”

 

Magnus’ head shot up at the words and a few tears rolled down his cheeks. He didn’t say anything but he wiped away his tears with the back of his hand.

If Alec hadn’t meant it, he would’ve regretted it but he didn’t. He loved Magnus and he needed to let him know. After a moment, Magnus rested his hand on Alec’s bicep and leaned in close, he was smiling and no trace of the sadness he had just worn was remaining on his face. It was if Alec’s words had fixed every doubt in Magnus’ head.

 

“I love you too.” Magnus whispered. He leaned in and captured his boyfriend’s lips with his own. The sun still shone down on the pair and when they broke for air, Magnus’ cat eyes were unglamoured again. Alec smiled in and was about to lean back in to kiss Magnus when his phone rang. Unsurprisingly, it was Jace. He picked up the phone and was about to ask if whatever he needed could wait but his brother’s voice cut in too quickly.

 

“Are you with Magnus?” He heard Jace’s voice over the phone in an urgent tone.

 

“Yeah. Jace, what’s wrong?” Alec asked anxiously and Magnus raised his eyebrow in question. Alec turned his phone on speakerphone for Magnus to hear.

 

“It’s Robert, Alec. He’s gone mad. He’s coming over as we speak and I think he’s going to try to arrest you and from the sounds of things, he’ll arrest Magnus as well. I don't know what he's trying to charge you with but it's bullshit, I know it.” Jace said before passing the phone over to Izzy.

 

“Alec, get out of there, please!” She urged him. “Jace and I will take care of things until it’s safe for you to come home. Magnus, I know, you’re listening. Take him somewhere safe, just for a while. We have to go but we love you. We’ll talk to you later, now go!” Izzy hung up and Magnus and Alec stood on the balcony for a moment longer.

 

A second later, Magnus felt an interference in his wards and knew that what they were facing was real. He knew the clave was relentless and knew his loft, despite his precautions, was not the safest place for a shadowhunter and a downworlder to hide. He dragged Alec indoors and into his bedroom, conjuring a suitcase and packing his clothes with magic. Within a couple of minutes, he was done and had even collected some of Alec’s clothes from the institute.

 

“Are we really doing this Magnus?” Alec asked disbelievingly.

Magnus just laughed. “Indeed we are, darling.” Alec smiled.

“Alright, where are we off to, Mags?”

“Alexander, as I guess we’re both fugitives now and I _am_ a warlock… Hmm, how do you feel about London?”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey pals,  
> for once i stuck to my schedule and posted on a tuesday  
> i hope you liked this lil' fluffy chapter but watch out, conflict is up next!  
> come say hi in the comments and leave a kudos if you want  
> and i'll see you next week (after the malec scenes in 2x15!)
> 
> (it's my birthday next monday so the next chapter will probably be up next wednesday instead of tuesday! just giving y'all a heads up! x)


	14. Promise Me?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Robert Intervenes, Malec go to London and Max is missing.

A swarm of shadowhunters crowded the door to Magnus’ loft; Robert Lightwood lead the group in a frenzy of anger and disgust; the thought of a gay shadowhunter running HIS institute made his blood boil. He claimed to be able to arrest both Alec and Magnus on terms of obstruction of justice and breach of trust. They weren’t the strongest charges to arrest his son with but he was confident he’d get away with arresting Alec and his boyfriend, so long as they didn’t take the issue directly to the clave.

Robert’s plan was to arrest Alec, if he didn’t break up with Magnus and agree to marry Lydia, he’d threaten de-runing and expulsion from the shadowhunter community and no contact with his siblings. It was simple; scare him into conforming to shadowhunter society and its expectations. It’s what shadowhunters grow up learning and clearly Robert hadn’t tough his son well enough. Alec wouldn't dare disobey the law, let alone the clave; he wouldn’t sacrifice everything for a downworlder, a warlock, especially Magnus Bane. He knew how much his child despised doing things wrong and wouldn’t dream to defy his superiors and the law. His love for his family and their happiness was something Robert knew well and would use to his advantage.

Breaking into Magnus’ loft was easier than Robert had expected as it took only a few minutes to open the front door. It was too easy. Magnus had kept his wards down for shadowhunters on purpose, he wanted Alec’s dad to see that his ploy would not work. He walked throughout the lavish rooms of Magnus’ loft in search of his child and boyfriend with several shadowhunters behind him in tow. Inspecting the home, he heard voices coming from a room far to the right of the loft, the voices respectively being those of Alec and Magnus.

 

“I’ve been once or twice but I’d love to see it again.” Robert heard his son speaking on the other side of the door. He tried to open it quietly however it was locked.

“Alright then, darling, it’s settled then!” Magnus said, his voice muffled by the sliding door to his boyfriend.

“Robert, sir, it’s extremely rude to eavesdrop, especially on family. Won’t you come out and bid us farewell?” Robert froze at the open invitation Magnus had just handed him. He gestured for the shadowhunters behind him to fall back before re-approaching the door. This time, when he tried the handle, it was unlocked.

 

He reluctantly opened the door, unsure of what he’d see behind it. What he saw behind the door was something he hadn’t expected. Instead of what he pictured as catching his son in the middle of having sex with the High Warlock of Brooklyn, he was met by an open portal and his two perpetrators stood with luggage in hand.

 

“How very nice for you to join us, Robert.” Magnus spoke smoothly, his words dripped thick with irony and sarcasm. His lips were twisted into a terrifying smirk.

Robert forced an unconvincing smile and nodded. “As always, it is my pleasure, Warlock Bane.”

“Of course it is a pleasure, Robert. It’s not every day that you can be graced by the likes of me; only so much beauty can be processed at a time, dear.” Magnus said with a flare and it took Alec great restraint to not laugh.

 

Robert’s anger bubbled below the surface of his consciousness as he watched Alec and Magnus mock his authority; he wondered what unspeakable things Magnus Bane had done to his child to corrupt him in such a way that made him laugh at his own flesh and blood.

 

“I’m sure your beauty will be appreciated in Alicante, Bane.” Robert snarled towards the elder man, his eyes glinted with loathing as he stared at Magnus.

“I-” Magnus looked beside him and gestured towards Alec, “We have no intention of visiting Alicante any time soon but do say hi to the inquisitor when you return. I’m afraid we must be going, we have places to go, sights to see.”

“This is not a matter of convenience, Bane.You are both under arrest for obstruction of justice and breach of trust! You’d be fools to run from the clave...” He stated worriedly as he neared closer towards the corner of the room where Alec and Magnus stood. Magnus’ cat stood alert as Robert approached.

 

The portal Magnus had created was still wide open and with the wave of his hand, both his and Alec’s luggage, apart from two or three bags, disappeared through the swirling vortex and into the warlock’s London apartment.

 

Alec who was stood to the side watching his father and boyfriend converse across the room now took his boyfriend’s arm and picked up their remaining luggage, stepping towards the open portal as he glared at his dad. Magnus whistled for Chairman Meow to follow them.

 

“Alexander Gideon Lightwood, don’t you dare step through that portal or else!” Robert warned with a stern tone of voice that paralleled the voice his mom had spoken with during their arguments.

“Or else what?” Alec turned around and scowled at his dad.

“Or else your mother and I will be out of your life, son. We won’t support you, Alec. You’ll be alone” The elder Lightwood said through gritted teeth.

“It’s not like I’d mind. In fact, I’d be better off without you so thank you for the offer, _Robert_ , but I’m afraid I can’t accept. It’s not like you’ve supported me recently anyway, besides I have Jace, Izzy, Magnus. They’re my family.” Alec turned around and walked through the gateway with his boyfriend, the portal closing behind them before Robert could follow them.

 

Magnus’ London apartment was extremely crimson. It was clear that Magnus hadn’t changed its decor for a while; it channeled the old look of what his loft had looked like when Alec had first come to him to ask for help. It looked less of a home and more like an archive. It was lavish and had touches of Magnus’ style however it was outdated and covered in a thick layer of dust; Magnus clearly hadn’t visited his residence in quite some time. The luggage they had sent through the portal now sat around the living room.

 

“Gideon?” Magnus giggled as they set down the remaining luggage that they’d brought with them. “I never knew your middle name was Gideon?”

“You’re unbelievable Magnus, did you know that?” Alec laughed and dusted off the top of a cabinet.

“I’m afraid I didn’t know that, darling. But come on? Gideon?” He laughed again and Alec smiled; Magnus looked happy and he wouldn’t ruin his boyfriend’s happiness.

“And I don’t suppose the famous Magnus Bane has a better middle name?” Alec teased, poking Magnus playfully in the shoulder. Magnus’ laughing stopped rather abruptly and his face became more serious and for a moment Alec thought he had said something wrong and somehow offended or hurt his boyfriend however before he had time to worry, Magnus spoke.

“Y’know, all those years ago when I gave myself my name, I never thought of a giving myself middle name…” Magnus pondered quietly.

 

An awkward silence settled over the room and Alec didn’t know how to respond to Magnus’ comment. He had only mean to tease the other man back about middle names but it had just caused his boyfriend to get lost deeply in thought. The flat was dim; it was early evening in London and the fog of the city hung low. Alec walked over to open the dusty curtains and faint lamp light from below the window filtered in through an unclean window that looked out at the street. The dust from the unkempt curtains caused Alec cough and sneeze which made Magnus turn around and snap out of his musings. With a few waves of his hand, blue sparks passed through the house, hovering over the furniture as it moved, taking away the dust and grime as it went.

 

“Sorry about the mess… It’s been awhile since I last lived here.” Magnus said awkwardly, averting his gaze from Alec.

“It’s uh, nice.” Alec replied sheepishly. “It reminds me of-”

“Camille.” Magnus said before Alec could finish his sentence. He sighed at the memories of what the house once was.

“I was going to say it reminded me of the loft when I first met you actually.” Alec smiled and rested a hand on Magnus’ shoulder.

“The red in my loft was also because of Camille, Darling. I suppose I’ll have to redecorate around here.” He smiled weakly, cleared his throat and picked up two of his suitcases. “Now come on, I’ll show you around. First, the bedroom.”

 

* * *

 

Back in the institute, Izzy had gotten off the phone with Alec and now couldn’t find her youngest brother anywhere. She was amid an anger she hadn’t ever felt before; her own father was trying to arrest Alec and Magnus and on top of that, Max was gone. Max had gone missing after Alec had left that morning and he wasn’t in the usual places he’d normally be. He’d only come from Idris that morning with her parents but had kept to himself in his room once they arrived, only appearing for Alec’s announcement before he disappeared again. Izzy assumed he just went back to his room again but when she checked, none of his belongings were there; it was like he never existed. She wished she could track him but Max had no runes and as all his belongings were gone, she couldn’t find him that way either. She couldn’t find her mom anywhere and Jace had just left for a mission without her so it was just her, alone, trying to find Max in the middle of a war against Valentine. Max wouldn’t leave the institute on his own, Izzy knew her younger brother well enough. He was about to start his training, he wouldn’t put himself in danger.

In her attempt to find Max, Izzy stumbled into a furious Robert Lightwood. Her father had just walked into the institute and to her relief, Alec and Magnus weren’t with him. She was relieved that her phone call had given them both enough warning to get out in time and Izzy wondered where in the world her big brother was at that moment.

 

“Dad! Hey Dad!” Izzy shouted as he father walked by, not acknowledging his daughter as he passed.

 

Robert stopped and turned around to face her. He looked distraught and uneasy; it reminded Izzy of her childhood when Robert came home from debates with the clave. The look on his face was a look of torment and anger and Izzy knew he had gotten into an argument with Alec and he had most likely lost.

 

“What is it Isabelle?” Robert said icily, his tone of voice was stern and grim.

“How dare you go after Alec. After everything he’s done to make you proud, to get that job? And you went to arrest him and his boyfriend because of what? Jealousy? Disgust? I don’t know what’s gotten into you or mom but I swear by the angel if you hurt him more than you already have, I’ll tell mom and the Branwells about your little secret okay?”

“You wouldn’t dare.” Robert seethed, however his threats didn’t effect Izzy anymore.

“I will.” She confirmed.

 

Robert glared at his only daughter and gave a small nod before he spun on his heel and walked in the direction of his room.

 

“Oh and dad?” Izzy said, he voice now more worried than angry; she was still furious but she wanted to see if her dad knew where her brother was, “Max is missing and I can’t find him anywhere.”

“Ah yes, Isabelle. As Alec is on the run, we took Max back to Idris, just so if your brother tries to come back from his little cat and mouse chase, he won’t see his favourite younger brother. And I’m afraid this counts for you too so if you want to see Max again, turn Alec and Magnus over to me. But seeing that you’re so loyal to him and as you won’t listen to my orders, you’re forbidden to contact Max or Alec until both Magnus and Alec are in the hands of the clave. It was a pleasant idea for my son to be head of this place but since he’s ruined our family name, I’ll be taking over from now on. I’ll be in my office. ”

 

Izzy stormed off to her room. She would talk to Alec whether her dad liked it or not. She picked up her cellphone and jacket and left the institute within minutes. Once she felt she was far enough away from the prying eyes of the shadowhunters she dialed Alec’s phone. On the second ring he picked up.

 

“Izzy?” Alec’s hushed voice spoke over the speaker.

“Alec yeah it’s me. Dad’s got even worse. He’s taken Max away and he won’t let me see him until you turn yourselves in.”

“Shit.” Alec sighed, “At least he’s okay. I’m sorry I had to leave Iz but he was standing right in front of us.”

“Don’t apologize big brother, just please stay safe wherever you are. Promise me? Okay.” Isabelle said.

“I promise.” Alec replied.

“I love you Alec, say hi to Magnus for me.” She smiled.

“I will. I love you too, Iz.” Alec smiled as he spoke. On his side of the phone, Magnus was putting away his clothes in their closet.

 

He hung up the phone and made his way over to his boyfriend who was debating if he should organize his clothes by colour or pattern.

 

“Mags?” Alec asked.

“Hmm?” Magnus hummed in response.

“Why did you choose the name Magnus Bane?”

 

“Y’know, there’s a scientific phenomenon to describe something that happens when an object is in motion. You think you know where it’s supposed land in a specific place when you throw it. But out of the blue, the object changes course midair and lands someplace else, somewhere you’d never think it’d go. It’s odd and out of the ordinary. It’s unnatural, surprising. Almost like magic.” Magnus smiled,

“It’s called the Magnus effect.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the week delay!! it was my birthday last week and i've been super busy sorting out my life but i'm back  
> i hope you liked this chapter ! i had u writing it !  
> the ending is based on the chapter ' born to endless night' from tales from the shadowhunter academy if not all of you are acquainted with the book :)  
> i'll see you all next tuesday  
> and come say hi in the comments if you want x


	15. Can I Tell You Something?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which malec explore London, talk about life, and find a loophole x

Alec wandered down the cobblestone streets of Strutton Ground. He had gotten off at St. James station with Magnus after having explored his townhouse that evening and was now waiting for his boyfriend who was having a hard time walking down the uneven road in his heeled boots. It was a windy night and although he had fled from New York that afternoon, Alec was feeling pretty relaxed. He’d only been to London once and it was years ago when he was a child when his parents had took him to visit different institutes around the world. 

 

They were headed to a bar Magnus had frequented when he had lived in London years before. Despite not being familiar with the city, Alec felt comforted by the winding roads of the main streets; although they were nothing like the gridded streets of New York. Alec wasn’t worried about any other shadowhunters finding them just yet; Magnus figure that Robert would keep the issue personal for the time being, besides, he didn’t even know they were in London. Alec supposed he’d find out soon enough. They couldn’t be perfectly hidden forever. 

 

Magnus led him through a short alleyway and towards a wooden hanging sign that read ‘THE PEAR & PARTRIDGE’. It was warm and homey and it slightly reminded Alec of the Hunter’s Moon except this bar was larger and was for mundanes. Already glamoured, they walked to the back of the establishment and found a booth-table in the far corner. Magnus, after patting his boyfriend’s shoulder, walked off to get drinks. Alec awkwardly sat in his seat. He was extremely unfamiliar with the city and slightly felt homesick. His life had flipped so quickly and he hardly had time to process it. Just that morning he was with his boyfriend in New York and now he was on a different continent. 

 

Before he was able to spiral anymore, Magnus returned with two martini glasses. He passed the glass to his boyfriend, smiling as he took a sip of his own drink. Alec, on the other hand, choked slightly when the liquid hit the back of his throat and proceeded to cough all over the table. Magnus laughed heartily and magiced away the alcohol. 

 

“Maybe you should put that down, love” Magnus chuckled as Alec’s face flushed red in embarrassment. The younger man hummed in agreement, set his glass on the table in front of him and cleared his throat. 

 

“What was that?!” Alec asked, still trying to rid the taste from his mouth. 

 

“Pop My Cherry” Magnus simply said, the words flowing freely from his lips as if it was a sentence he said regularly. A smirk loitered around his lips, lifting his face ever so slightly.

 

“Magnus!” Alec groaned as he hid his face in the palms of his hands, shielding himself from the mocking face of his beautiful boyfriend. 

 

“Alexander!” Magnus replied, mocking in the shadowhunter adorable way that made Alec drop his hands and fondly smile at him. They sat together without saying anything. Magnus replaced Alec’s drink with a beer and they observed the life of the bar in comfortable silence. After a while, Alec slumped in his chair.

 

“Mags, why are we here?” He sighed, setting down his bottle on the counter and putting his head in his hands, “What did we do wrong?”

 

“We didn’t do anything wrong, Alexander. Robert has always been like this; some people just don’t learn from their past. He’s still stuck in the past, darling.” Magnus slipped into the seat next to Alec and rested a palm on his boyfriend’s shoulder, tracing circles to calm him down.

 

They sat there quietly again, Magnus carefully sipping his drink as Alec sat back up. He smiled towards him and Alec faintly smiled back. It was clear Alec was still thinking about his dad so Magnus paid for their drinks and tugged Alec out of the bar. 

 

“Come on, Alexander, let’s take a walk.” Magnus took his boyfriend’s hand and lead him down the street to a local park close to his townhouse. 

 

They walked in silence for a while, hand in hand. The air became chilly as they walked aimlessly down the winding paths of the park. Magnus wrapped himself around Alec’s arm in fondness as they strolled.

 

“Alec?” Magnus spoke out. His voice was cheerful and genuinely happy.

 

Alec looked down at his boyfriend. “Yeah Mags?” He asked. 

 

“Was I your first kiss?” Magnus teased, poking Alec’s arm, dragging him towards a park bench and sitting down.

 

Alec’s face blushed a light shade of pink and his cheeks grew hot. He opened and closed his mouth like a fish but no words came out and bowed his head down to hide his face. Magnus chuckled lightly at the scene he was witnessing.

 

“I take that as a yes?” Magnus smiled at his flustered boyfriend. He reached and cupped Alec’s face and brought it up to meet his eyes. 

 

“Yeah…” Alec replied weakly, his voice cracking ever so slightly. He didn’t look directly at Magnus; it was as if he was ashamed of the fact his first kiss was with his boyfriend.

 

“Don’t be ashamed Alexander. There’s nothing wrong with it.” Magnus comforted him. 

 

“Magnus, you’ve had so many people in your life, what makes me any different?” Alec sighed, “I’m so… Y’know… Inexperienced.” He became quiet again.  

 

“Alec. Don’t you remember when we first met?” Alec nodded. “You showed up on my doorstep asking for my help and-”

 

“Yes, yes I remember why Mags.”

 

“Then you have a reason to be inexperienced! You were scared and being scared is okay. They might not tell you that in shadowhunter training but it’s true.” Magnus beamed.

 

“But what about me? I’m just...  _ me _ ? There’s nothing interesting about myself? Why are you going through all this just for me?” Alec looked up to Magnus’ face. He looked fragile and emotional.

 

“Alexander, I’ve told you before. You’re different than any other shadowhunter I’ve met. You’re loving and kind and brave. You opened my heart when I thought I could no longer love. You’re much more precious to me than you believe, Alec.”

 

Magnus rested his hands on the back of Alec’s neck, letting himself slide closer to his shadowhunter. 

 

“Magnus?” Alec smiled. 

 

“Yes, darling?” Magnus replied, smiling back at his adorable shadowhunter boyfriend.

 

“Can I tell you something?” He asked. Magnus hummed in response, indicating for Alec to continue.

 

“I didn’t think I’d ever get to feel this way, Magnus. I thought everything was wrong. Like my world was broken, like every road was blocked and every door was locked. But you came along and crushed everything I was taught to believe and I am so grateful for everything you’ve done for me, I can’t thank you enough. I love you and sometimes it still hurts me to remember why I saw you the first time we met but I’m so thankful I did come to see you.” 

 

“I love you too.” Magnus said quietly, bringing his lips to Alec’s, kissing him under the night sky. 

 

They sat there for a while; the park was empty and it was getting later into the night but nothing was telling them to stop yet so they continued kissing on the park bench, entangled in one another’s arms. A sudden breeze brushed through the trees and made Alec shiver; he was only wearing a thin jacket. Magnus broke away from his boyfriend and stood, pulling Alec up with him.

 

“I think it’s time we’d better get back, isn’t it love?” Magnus chirped and when Alec nodded, they made their way back to Magnus’ townhouse. 

 

The townhouse looked slightly off in the complete darkness. They walked through the front door and Alec scurried to the bedroom while Magnus went to make some tea. Alec stripped down to his underwear and climbed into the soft sheets of Magnus’ bed, his boyfriend joining him a few minutes later with two steaming cups in his hands. He handed one of to Alec and sat next to him. 

 

“How long until we can go back?” Alec asked as he blew on his tea to cool it off.

 

“I really don’t know darling,” Magnus replied, taking a hesitant sip of his tea. “It could be days, it could be months. I’m immortal, not psychic.” He smiled. 

 

“Could we… go… somewhere else soon?” Alec said in a small voice, only barely audible to Magnus. Alec set his tea down on the bedside table to cool more and brought the covers up to his neck.

 

“Do you not like it here? Is there something wrong? Have I done somet-” Magnus rambled.

 

“No, Magnus it’s okay. You’re home here is amazing… but isn’t it a little predictable that we’d come to London? It’s not unknown to the clave that you have a home here. I just want to make sure we’ll be safe.”

 

“We are safe for now, but if it makes you feel any better, we can go someplace else soon? We could go to India or Morocco. Wherever you like, just name it.” Magnus assured him,

 

“I just want to go home, Mags…” Alec sighed. 

 

“I know you do…” Magnus trailed off before his face lit up with a cunning smile. 

 

“What are you thinking about Magnus?” Alec asked, now sitting fully up to get a better look at his boyfriend’s face; Magnus was now grinning widely. 

 

“I can’t believe I didn’t think of that before!” He muttered.

 

“Think of what!?” Alec asked exasperatedly.  

 

“I’ve done it before, it was right under my nose…” Magnus continued, ignoring Alec’s question completely. 

 

“Done what?!” Alec asked louder. Magnus snapped out of his thoughts and smiled towards Alec.

 

“Alexander, we’re going back to New York undetected. We’ll be hiding in plain sight. They’d never think we’d be right there in front of them!” He happily said, falling into bed next to his boyfriend.  “Tomorrow, we’re going home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so wow... i'm back after a couple of months. i've been figuring my life out and i went on a vacation for a while but i'm back now!! i hope everyone's doing well! and are excited for season 3 coming out in april 3rd!!!! i know i am excited!
> 
> see you all next monday x


	16. How About We Change Things Up?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which they come home, get a phone call and move again.

They both talked into the early hours of the morning, planning on what they would do once they returned to New York. Alec knew he’d have to make himself untraceable; shadowhunters were easily tracked on land in the city he called home. Magnus sat on his bed with his boyfriend. His head rested on Alec’s lap and Alec was running his fingers through his soft black hair. They had only arrived in London that evening, therefore they hadn’t unpacked and were essentially ready to leave anytime they wanted. 

 

Back in New York, Robert Lightwood was furious. Again. His son had escaped him along with his warlock “boyfriend” and his other children had sided with his eldest child. He had no clue as to where Alec had portalled off to; he only knew it was night as when he got a glimpse through the portal, he could see lamplight. He was so close to catching him. Alec annoyed Robert. His son was better than him, more successful than him, more loved, more cherished. Alec had taken his job away from him. His son had betrayed him. And now he had run away with the notorious Magnus Bane? Disgusting. The only person truly on his side was his wife, Maryse, and even she annoyed him sometimes. He figured he couldn’t do much if he was worked up and retired to his room, dismissing the shadowhunters he had recruited to find Alec; he’d find out where he was early the next day. 

 

Magnus and Alec had fallen asleep the way they had sat earlier that morning. Alec was half slumped against the headboard of Magnus’ copper bed as Magnus was still curled in his lap. Sunlight streamed through the windows of the townhouse, hitting the room with rays of warmth. Magnus stirred from his sleep when the sun hit his eyelids. He sleepily looked up at his shadowhunter boyfriend who was softly snoring. Magnus smiled and took Alec’s hand. 

 

Shortly after, Alec also woke up. Together, they made the bed and gathered the few things they had unpacked. Alec gave himself a protection rune to shield himself from the clave and early in the morning, the two of them returned to New York. 

 

Of course, Magnus was still weary. Just the day before, unwanted shadowhunters had broken through his wards and had entered his loft against his wishes and was determined to relocate his home to somewhere the clave wouldn’t guess. To his surprise, as he and Alec stepped out of the portal, he was faced by his good friend, Ragnor Fell, sitting on the end of one of his couches, casually resting his booted feet on his glass coffee table. He was wearing a full velvet green suit and brown-burgundy dress shoes matched with a brown waistcoat.

 

“Ah, Magnus. Alec,” He nodded towards the pair, “ I was wondering when you two would get back.” Ragnor grinned. 

 

Alec stood speechlessly, a suitcase tucked under his arm while Chairman Meow exited the portal and the portal behind him closed with a sharp snap. Magnus set down his luggage with a soft thump and walked over in slight confusion to his smiling friend, hesitantly embracing him.

 

“When did you get here Ragnor?” Magnus asked his best friend. He looked around his house and it was impeccably clean. Because of this, he guessed Ragnor had been there a while.

“Oh, you know. Just a short while. Tidied up the place for you; It was a real tip when I showed up, Magnus. Whatever did you two get yourselves into this time?” Ragnor asked. 

 

Alec left his boyfriend to explain the events of the last day as he retreated to the kitchen to make tea for the three of them. Ten minutes later when he emerged holding three steaming cups of peppermint tea, it was clear that Magnus had finished explaining their story as now he was telling a story about Peru and Ragnor looked rather displeased. Alec set the drinks down on the coffee table without disturbing the one-sided conversation before sitting in a far armchair. He didn’t want to interrupt his boyfriend’s conversation; it seemed like they hadn’t seen one another in a while and Alec didn’t want to ruin their catch-up time. It didn’t really seem like they had taken notice of him as their tea still sat untouched on the table.

 

“...Remember when I dived from the bow of the ship without telling you beforehand? You thought I fell overboard… Peru was such a pleasant ti-” Magnus rambled.

 

“Yes. Yes, Magnus. I do remember. You never let it down, now please,” Ragnor drawled, “Can we stop talking about Peru. It brings up some rather dreadful memories I only wish I could forget.”

 

On the far armchair, Alec wondered what terrible things could’ve made a renowned warlock such as Ragnor Fell feel disgusted. Quite oppositely, he also wondered what made the High Warlock of Brooklyn so happy. Their conversation died down so he decided he’d take a seat next to Magnus, sinking into the couch cushion as Magnus quietly talked. 

 

“... So! Paris! I’m planning on going back soon if Alexander would like to join me.” Magnus finished, turning to Alec. 

 

“I’m sorry?” Alec choked, not expecting to have been spoken to.

 

Magnus laughed, “I was just speaking about Paris. You could join me if you’d like?” 

 

Alec blushed and nodded. Ragnor scoffed. 

 

“Honestly, you two look like a pair of sickly doves.” He complained, picking up his steaming tea and taking a small sip. Satisfied with the drink, he relaxed back into his seat. 

 

Alec spluttered, “No… I don’t think…” However, Magnus just laughed and kissed his boyfriend to prevent him from embarrassing himself further. 

 

Ragnor looked physically repulsed and set his tea back on the coffee table. “I’m going to be sick.” He choked. Magnus smirked and glanced over at his boyfriend, letting his face rest to a state of content. 

 

“Dear God, Magnus,” He sighed, “You’ve become soft.” Ragnor rolled his eyes before he stood, checked his watch and smoothed out his waistcoat. 

 

“Although I’d love to stay and chat,” He said slightly sarcastically, “I came here for a reason. I see the rumors that you both are on the run are true; the word in the downworld travels quickly. You both have many enemies in the downworld but there are a number of us who, if given the chance, would like to help you.”

 

Magnus stilled and smiled. “That’s very nice of them, but I’m not sure what we need help with my dear friend.” He pondered. 

 

Ragnor walked towards the front door but stopped before opening it. “Well you always get yourself into trouble one way or another,” He smiled, “I’m just a portal away.”

 

“Thank you, Ragnor, we’ll take up your offer if we need to.” Alec replied before Magnus had the chance to answer his friend.

 

And then he was gone. The sound of the door closing and a portal opening, then dispersing came from behind the front door and the room fell into silence. After a moment, Alec stood and cleared the barely touched tea. He smiled at Magnus and Magnus smiled back; they didn’t have to say anything to convey their feelings. Magnus set away at putting back their luggage, handling his garments with care. He decided to unpack them by hand. Shortly after, Alec joined him and for the first time in a long time, Magnus sectioned off part of his closet for the person he loved. Alec hung his clothes next to his boyfriend’s; they looked dark, dull and faded next to Magnus’ stylish and colourful clothing. Later that night, while they lay on their bed, they held hands and looked out at the city of New York, falling asleep together in the early hours of the morning. 

 

It was five hours later when Alec woke up to a phone call. He slipped out of bed and retrieved his phone from the pocket of his jeans, retreating out of the room to make sure he wouldn’t wake Magnus up. He was surprised when he saw it was Jace calling. 

 

“Alec?” Jace whispered through the phone, “Are you there?”

 

“Yeah, Jace! What’s wrong? Why are you whispering? Why are you calling me? I thought you weren’t supposed to call me?” Alec asked quietly.

 

“Robert’s been listening to all of our conversations. He’s on his way over to Magnus’ loft to burn your things so I’m free to call you but this is the only free time I have and I’m still not sure if he has other people listening to me.” Jace paused before taking again, “Izzy and I saved most of your things from your room before he was able to destroy them but a few of your books were burned last night.”

 

Alec held his breath. “When did he leave the institute?” He asked.”

 

“Twenty minutes ago. He’ll be there in the next ten. He’s been telling everyone you aren’t his son anymore. Thank the angel you aren’t in the city though, he’s gone mad but maybe you should get Magnus to stop by and put up stronger wards? Shit. I have to go but stay safe brother, love you.” 

 

Jace hung up urgently and without a second to think about what he was doing, Alec rushed back to Magnus to wake him up. Magnus, confused and shaken from being disturbed at seven in the morning, groaned and let himself get dragged out of bed by his panicked boyfriend.

 

“Hmm, Alexander? What is it?” He complained, putting on his robe and tying it around his waist. Alec dragged him into the living room.

 

“Magnus, we need to move now!” Alec said desperately, his eyes darting around the room.

 

Magnus rested his hands on Alec’s shoulders. “Why, darling? What’s wrong?” He asked. 

 

Magnus was now awake and looking into his boyfriend’s eyes to see if he was okay. He cupped Alec’s face to stop him from frantically searching the loft and kissed him softly. Alec visibly relaxed but he was still alert. 

 

“Robert is ten minutes away and he’s planning on burning the loft. We need to move the loft, Magnus. Now!” Alec almost shouted. 

 

“Oh shit,” Magnus said under his breath. He checked the wards; they hadn’t been disturbed since he’d set them and he sighed with relief. He then turned to Alec and nodded.

 

“How about we change things up?” Magnus smiled and within seconds, the view outside the window changed to another familiar sight. They were a few blocks from Magnus’ nightclub, Pandemonium. They had relocated to the East Village.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aa I'm back??  
> I've been really sick recently and haven't had time to write because of irl obligations  
> but here's a new chapter!  
> it's quite short but I hope you like it !
> 
> x bella
> 
> p.s. I have something I'm working on that I think people might like!


	17. Alright Babe?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> just a lil' fluffy chapter to get back into the fic after a 5-month hiatus.

The loft was a mess, understandably, of course, it had been lifted and dropped to another location and Magnus didn't want to clean up the mess. They had just gotten home after not even two days in England and since they’d come back, they had already encountered Ragnor as well as the threat of almost conflicting with Robert Lightwood. Normally, Magnus relocated his home out of boredom- the only exception being that one odd time he was trying to avoid Alec and before that, the first war with Valentine. But now, he was on the run again. Alec didn’t understand. Magnus had lived through the times when shadowhunters hunted warlocks for their warlock marks and he had run and hid for years. And now he was running. The High Warlock of Brooklyn, running from his boyfriend’s father.

 

Alec wouldn’t let Magnus use his magic to clean up the loft. Things had smashed, yes, but as they were technically on the run and Alec wasn’t needed anywhere, he didn’t want to strain his boyfriend’s magic any more than necessary. He had just moved an entire home only moments before and besides, Alec didn’t mind cleaning up. It calmed him, and being calm was something he needed. Magnus wanted to help but he was just exhausted. As young as he looked and as young as he acted, he was quite old and although he was the High Warlock of Brooklyn, the events of the past few days had caught up with him. He made himself a cup of herbal tea and sat in the living room, curling up on his armchair, watching Alec as he slowly made his way through the loft, softly humming a song as he cleaned. 

 

Magnus had fallen asleep shortly after he settled into his seat, in fact, he hadn’t heard the end of the song Alec was humming before he dozed off, but when he woke up, it was significantly later in the day and he was now lying on top of their bed. The image of Alec taking the mug from his hands and carefully carrying him to the bedroom made him smile fondly. How lucky he was to have someone like Alec who loved him for who he was and not for his magic or wealth. He sat up in bed and was able to make out his boyfriend through the small crack of the ajar door to the room. His hair had fallen into his eyes and was damp with sweat- it was clear that Alec had been cleaning all afternoon without stopping. He changed into loose sweatpants and a black t-shirt and was placing fallen books back onto a bookcase. Instead of humming, Alec was singing softly. Magnus didn’t know if he had ever heard Alec sing. Thinking back, he realized he hadn’t. The closest he’d been was when he had heard him sing the jingle for a pizza company. But no- Alec was singing a real song. A song that was familiar to Magnus as he had seen the song live in the 80s. Alec was singing Come On Eileen. Magnus remembered the 80s well, and not for many good reasons. The AIDS epidemic had killed many of his friends in those years and remembering the pain of his past and the fact he couldn’t change the outcome of the lives of the people he considered family didn’t help anything. But he remembered that concert, seeing Dexys Midnight Runners while on a trip to the UK to visit Ragnor. It was a fond memory in the decade of pain, and although Alec didn’t know of the memory, the act of him singing that particular song made Magnus’ heart flutter. He quietly got out of bed and without using magic, he set the room back to normal, quietly singing the harmonies to the songs his boyfriend sang.

 

He was still singing the harmony to a song Alec had finished moments before and Magnus hadn’t realized he was still repeating the lyrics, but Alec had. Alec stopped his cleaning to check on Magnus and had heard his boyfriend’s singing. He stood outside the room and continued to sing and heard Magnus singing with him. It went on until he finished singing Soft Cell’s Tainted Love and found that Magnus didn’t stop singing the song once he had stopped. Alec found it adorable. He peeked his head through the small opening in the doorway and saw that Magnus was faced away from him tending to a fallen lamp from their bedside table. He walked over without making noise and wrapped his arms around Magnus’ waist. Surprised by the sudden move, Magnus tensed, his defenses going up for a split second before he realized who stood behind him and he turned around to face Alec. Alec chuckled lightly at his boyfriend's reaction before Magnus stood up on his toes and placed a small kiss on Alec’s lips. He tasted like sweat, which wasn’t unpleasant at all, and Magnus had to stop himself from pushing Alec down onto their bed- now wasn’t the time. 

 

With a sigh, Magnus broke their kiss and wriggled out of Alec’s arms, a smile plastered over his face to show that nothing was wrong as he didn’t want his boyfriend to think that he had done anything wrong. However, Alec only pointed an accusing finger at him.

 

“You,” He said in a firm voice, although it got softer as he smiled, “ You are supposed to be resting, what are you doing up?” He teased before he grabbed Magnus into another hug. 

 

“I heard you singing, it was beautiful Alexander. I don’t know why you don’t sing more often.” Magnus commented a wide smile took over his face as he reminisced his boyfriend’s singing. 

 

Alec’s cheeks flamed with a dark blush that reached from the tops of his ears to the base of his neck. He fumbled with his hands that still were hugging Magnus and he avoided Magnus’ gaze. Alec still wasn’t used to compliments, of course, people had called him handsome, yet he never believed them, not until Magnus. Because Magnus made him feel special, made him feel wanted and when he saw his boyfriend’s face when he told him he was beautiful, although it was hard for him to accept it, Alec knew Magnus wasn't lying to him. 

 

“D-did I wake you? I-I’m sorry Magnus, I d-didn't mean to…” Alec stuttered out his words, his blush making him feel like he was overheating. Magnus only stared at the man in front of him in awe. 

 

“Oh, it was no issue, it was a wonderful way to wake up, darling.” He replied and Alec felt like his face was on fire. Magnus, noticing his boyfriend’s apparent flushed face. He placed his palm on Alec’s cheek and felt that it was burning hot. He was adorable and for the second time since had woken up, he wondered what he did to deserve a man like Alec in his life. He really wondered. Out of 17,000 people, 17,000 memories, and countless heartbreaks, nothing would compare what he had with Alec. He knew that if their relationship didn’t work out, that would be it for him. He felt like he was sharing the last part of his heart and after this, he’d have nothing left to give. If he couldn’t have Alec, he would love no one else. He felt like he had waited 400 years for Alec and if it didn’t last, he didn’t deserve to love anyone else. He was the last straw.

 

Magnus had zoned out for a second in Alec’s arms and when he came back to his senses, he hit his head on Alec’s chin. Alec, who hadn’t realized Magnus had drifted off into his thoughts had enjoyed hugging his boyfriend so when he was headbutted in the chin, he froze before falling into a pit of laughter.

 

“What was that?” Alec managed to say through gasps of laughter. Magnus who had joined in with the laughing shook his head. 

 

“I really have no idea Alec, I must have zoned out,” He replied. Magnus knew what he was thinking about but he didn’t want to admit it out loud. He would save this conversation for another night when tensions weren’t as high. It seemed like Alec accepted the lie as he grabbed his towel and made his way to their bathroom. 

 

“I’m going to take a shower, alright babe?” Alec said as if it was something he regularly said.

 

“Again with the ‘babe’ darling?” Magnus laughed. Alec stared at his feet. 

 

“Uh… I wanted to try it out again.” He admitted, “I like calling you babe.” And somehow while saying those words, Alec’s blush became a darker shade of red. He turned on his heel and entered the bathroom before Magnus could reply to his words. Magnus wasn’t really one for pet names. Of course, he used them for other people but ever since Camille, he had opted out of people calling him anything other than his name. Even letting Alec call him ‘Mags’ was a step forward. But Alec looked happy when he called him babe. It was enough to overturn his rule on nicknames so he walked over to the bathroom door and knocked. 

 

“Yeah?” He heard Alec shout. The shower wasn’t running yet but the door was locked, Magnus assumed Alec needed to be alone with his thoughts. 

 

“Just for the record, you can call me babe anytime.” Magnus said from the other side of the door. And before he walked away to check up on the rest of the loft, he swore he heard Alec gasp in surprise. 

 

While Alec took his shower, Magnus wandered around their home. Alec really had spent the entire afternoon cleaning because the majority of what was disrupted during the move was back in its place, give or take a few things like alcohol stains in the carpet, fallen tapestries, smashed glass and parts of the living room chandelier. Magnus’ nap had refreshed his magic and although Alec had been adamant about him not using his magic, some things couldn’t be fixed by hand. Within a matter of seconds, everything was back to the way they were- he hoped Alec didn’t mind. He was used to using his magic for everyday things so it wasn’t a problem, it didn’t even take much energy to do, but he respected how considerate Alec was. That was another reason why he loved him.

 

When Alec emerged from the bathroom with a towel around his waist, Magnus was not there to see him. Instead, he was sitting on the balcony watching the sunset. The golden yellow rays lit up his face with a brightness that made him feel young again and when Alec had gotten dressed and found him out there, the sun had almost set. 

 

“Magnus?” Alec called out to his boyfriend from the open balcony doors, “It’s cold out, why aren’t you wearing a jacket? By the angel, Mags, you must be freezing!” 

 

Alec was so caught up in his worry for Magnus’ wellbeing that he didn’t hear the low chuckle that left Magnus’ mouth until it became a full laugh. Confused, Alec tilted his head and stared at the man who he called his boyfriend and wondered what he had missed in the seconds after he had spoken.

 

“Come out here?” Magnus laughed and reached his hand out for Alec to take. Alec stared at the hand as if it was something he hadn’t seen before. After a second, his head snapped up. 

 

“Are you mad? It’s freezing! I’m not coming out there!” 

 

“Then why aren’t you cold right now?” Magnus said smugly. 

 

Alec looked around himself and realized he was already standing in front of the open doors, yet he didn’t feel cold at all. He had been standing there the whole time and hadn’t thought twice about it but now that he thought about it, he figured out what was going on. Magnus had made some sort of bubble surround the balcony to keep it warm. The realization washed over his face and Magnus walked over to him and softly laughed, holding Alec’s cheek in the palm of his hand and kissing him lightly. 

 

“I have magic for a reason, darling,” Magnus smiled and took Alec’s hand in his, “Now come, watch the last of the sunset with me?” 

 

“Of course, babe.” Alec blushed, and took his hand. They sat together on their patio sofa and beside him, Magnus blushed as well, although he would never admit to it. 

 

Tomorrow, they’d deal with it all. They’d come up with a plan of action. Everything would be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well.... yikes... it's been 5 months????  
> i didn't mean to be gone so long??  
> i forgot my password and didn't actually reset it until now...  
> i'm uh, back though so sorry for the wait!  
> here's a new chapter though xo  
> i hope you're all well x


End file.
